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Children giving up their seats..

(448 Posts)
whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:13:08

I was on the bus this morning and my 2 children were sat in the seats, this is a small bus and gets very busy. After a few stops an older woman got on and kept loudly bitching that my kids didnt give up their seats and shaking her head.

for context my son fell on this exact bus flat on his back and banged his head on the floor a few months back as he was standing up (and holding on) but the bus whizzed round a corner so now i try to make sure they always get a seat.

Should children always give up their seats for an older person? wibu for not making them?

ScreamingValenta Tue 13-Nov-18 10:14:23

Does your bus company charge for children's seats, or do they travel free?

fanfan18 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:14:41

I think it depends if how old your kids are and how elderly and able bodied the other person is.

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:15:08

They travel for free but so do people over a certain age so..?

Disfordarkchocolate Tue 13-Nov-18 10:15:34

If possible I would have had one on my knee, some bus routes are not suitable for small children to stand up on.

Sirzy Tue 13-Nov-18 10:15:53

How old are they kids?

If possible I would have sat one on your knee or encouraged them to share a seat

MrsStrowman Tue 13-Nov-18 10:16:30

If they are young enough (which they are of they're young enough to not be able to stand on a bus without falling) you sit them on your lap so everyone can sit down

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:17:58

I was not seated. I was stood with the baby in the pram. They are 4 and 6.

LettuceP Tue 13-Nov-18 10:18:19

Depends on the ages of the woman and the children.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Tue 13-Nov-18 10:18:38

MN is always divided on this!

My take: anyone at greater risk of falling should have a seat if possible, for their own safety and that of others around them (who they'd land on). After that, its first come first served and nothing to do with whether children are free or half-fare.

My eldest is 6 and I'd expect him to give up his seat for an elderly/infirm/pregnant passenger but not just to any random adult. I think on a busy bus or train I might expect two children to share a seat between them, depending on their ages.

Shockers Tue 13-Nov-18 10:18:54

When I was a child there were notices on buses saying that children should stand for fare paying adults. I think the bus companies assumed that small children would be on laps. I remember standing for adults.
Whether this is right or wrong, perhaps that woman is from the generation where this was an expectation from the bus companies.

Sirzy Tue 13-Nov-18 10:18:55

4 and 6 I would have had them squash up so someone else could at least perch on the end

ScreamingValenta Tue 13-Nov-18 10:19:06

If the other person was of 'bus pass' age, I would expect a younger, able-bodied person to offer them a seat if they were making it clear they needed one.

marine04 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:19:13

Depending on age I would have put one on my knee or got them to share a seat.
People always give my twins weird looks on buses as if they expect them to stand as they are fifteen (but small so probably look more like 12), but they have a health condition which means it is not safe or even really possible for them to do so. If necessary I stand instead of them to give an elderly person a seat.

LettuceP Tue 13-Nov-18 10:19:29

Was the woman older (as in older than 18) or elderly?

CakeBiscuit Tue 13-Nov-18 10:19:53

Roughly how old was the woman OP?

I don’t think children should automatically give up their seats for an older person.

I wonder why the woman didn’t seem upset about other adults not offering her their seats..

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Tue 13-Nov-18 10:19:54

Yeah, four and six I'd have made share a seat if there weren't enough seats for everyone. When I've had two six year olds on the bus before I've made them share for this reason.

HoleyCoMoley Tue 13-Nov-18 10:20:17

It depends on their age, could one of them sat on your lap, were you standing or did you have a seat. If someone else really needed a seat I would expect someone to get up but wouldn't like to see a child falling and hurting themselves either, I've seen some very able fit elderly people not give up a seat to a heavily pg woman, I can't remember the last time I saw a man give up a seat for a woman and have seen a wheelchair user have to ask people to move from the disabled seating area.

BertramKibbler Tue 13-Nov-18 10:21:58

Older person.... are we talking able bodied and 50 or elderly?

As all child has more need of a seat than a healthy adult but less than an elderly or disabled adult

Earthmoon Tue 13-Nov-18 10:22:18

It depends on who is more in need, there are to many variables to say who should get the seat. In your case I would have offered my own seat, if you had one and were able to ride the bus safely. I may also tell my children to share a seat.

Racecardriver Tue 13-Nov-18 10:22:32

It depends on the older persons health. If they clearly struggle to stand under ordinary circumstances then it is hard for them than it is for your children and they should get the seat. But if they are just old with no obvious infirmity then I don’t see why anyone should give up a seat for them.

rocketpocket Tue 13-Nov-18 10:22:59

If the woman was elderly and fell she could end up dying or permanently disabled so I would get at least the six year old to give up a seat but I'm "old fashioned" and polite anyway so I'd have my children stand with me (and hold onto them).

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:23:07

Im not sure how old she was it would be a guess 60s? Like I said I wasnt seated.

ChardonnaysPrettySister Tue 13-Nov-18 10:23:27

Would you have said ‘bitching’ if the person who made the comments was a man, OP?

LettuceP Tue 13-Nov-18 10:23:39

If the lady was elderly then your kids should have shared a seat.

Hermagsjesty Tue 13-Nov-18 10:26:08

I’d expect my 6yo to stand up for an older person who was struggling but not my 4yo - who doesn’t have the balance to yet and would definitely be at risk of falling over. But to be fair, you’d hope one of the other able-bodies adults on the bus would’ve stood up. I definitely don’t think kids should automatically be the ones to stand - that isn’t why they travel for free - because as you say, older people travel for free too.

MandalaYogaTapestry Tue 13-Nov-18 10:26:24

Who was occupying the other priority seats?

LuggsaysNotaWomen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:26:36

Were there not other adults who could have vacated their seat for an elderly lady?

I always find it bizarre that the people who are compelled to give up their seat for a vulnerable passenger, are other vulnerable passengers rather than, for example strapping twenty year olds.

That said, if no other fucker was offering, I probably would get my kids to share a seat and let her sit down if possible.

HouseOnTheLake Tue 13-Nov-18 10:27:10

YWBU to let your DC take up two seats when there were older people who couldn't sit down.

DianaXXX Tue 13-Nov-18 10:27:26

I was on a one decker bus this morning taking my 6 year old to school
Very busy bus as goes through kings cross.
An older lady got on a bus so I took my son on the lap and gave her up a seat
However with my children being 3 and 6 I wouldn't exeoect them to give up a seat for anyone at that age it's 45 min bus ride for them.

ScreamingValenta Tue 13-Nov-18 10:27:45

There's a lot of variance in how fit someone in their 60s might be, but if this woman was making it clear she needed a seat, she should have been offered one.

You don't say what other passengers were on the bus (obviously not expecting you to give a list!) but I would class your children amongst those who might reasonably be expected to give up a seat for a pensioner.

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:27:52

yes i would have used the term “bitching” whats your point? she was making rude comments throughout the entire journey and then started speaking to another woman about them (tbh that made me more likely to not tell them to move.) I was never offered a seat in any of my pregnancies i wouldnt dream of bitching about it though. also she could have asked for a seat rather than making rude comments.

CakeBiscuit Tue 13-Nov-18 10:28:44

Well, unless she was struggling to stand I don’t think being in her 60s makes her more worthy of a seat than a child.

Personally, I don’t get why some people think a child should be the first to give up their seat for an elderly person. Why should they?

Surely it makes far more sense for an able bodied adult to stand up than a child of 4 or 6.

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:29:31

You don't say what other passengers were on the bus (obviously not expecting you to give a list!) but I would class your children amongst those who might reasonably be expected to give up a seat for a pensioner. I didnt want to be seen as “drip feeding” but someone did offer her a seat at one point but she refused and said something about being glad when its half term.

80sMum Tue 13-Nov-18 10:30:03

The lady was of the same generation as me then, OP. She was most probably brought up to believe that adults should always take priority over children, as I was.

When I was a child, there was no question that I would be expected automatically to relinquish my seat on a crowded bus or train to any adult who got on. It was just ingrained in our psyche that adults' needs came first.

Nowadays, the reverse seems to be true and children's needs tend to trump those of adults most of the time.

Ragwort Tue 13-Nov-18 10:30:44

I would expect the two kids to bunch up or certainly the six year old should stand up. I always told my DS to stand up for a woman or an older man & now as a teenager he always leaps up to offer people his seat.

sylviec Tue 13-Nov-18 10:31:18

Children and babies are people too and have rights too. If they were there first and the woman wasn't unable to stand then I don't see the problem with children using the seats.

greendale17 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:31:26

YANBI- And what about all the other adults on the bus? Were they not capable of offering their seat. I like how the old women singled out your kids and not anyone else on the bus.

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:32:18

exactly CakeBiscuit not everyone on the bus was elderly pregnant and disabled. she seemed to take offence to my children specifically. If my child hadnt have falled and banged his head on the floor then maybe I would have felt differently but he did and we were forced to get off and walk the rest of the way.

AvoidingDM Tue 13-Nov-18 10:33:35

I would think another able bodied adult should have stood.
I also have a fear of young children being thrown around on buses. Yes I would say 4 and 6 are young kids. Maybe when they get to 10 I'd think different but no i wouldn't expect a 4 or 6 yo to hold on well enough or not start acting daft.

ScreamingValenta Tue 13-Nov-18 10:34:05

I didnt want to be seen as “drip feeding” but someone did offer her a seat at one point but she refused

That is quite a drip feed grin. If she had been offered a seat and had refused it, she was unreasonable to complain.

I agree with 80sMum when she says When I was a child, there was no question that I would be expected automatically to relinquish my seat on a crowded bus or train to any adult who got on. It was just ingrained in our psyche that adults' needs came first. That was exactly how it was in my childhood, too.

TuckMyWin Tue 13-Nov-18 10:34:22

I don't think it's a case of children's needs trumping adults, but more who is more capable of standing without it posing a danger to them. I don't think your average 4 year old is strong enough to stand on a bus without being at risk of falling. Possibly not a 6 year old either. The OP has already said her child has previously fallen on a bus. Personally, I would give up my seat for a small child standing, as it's safer. Same for an older person (most 60 year olds I know would be offended to classed as old enough to be offered a seat though, I reckon). I would, however, expect a 4 and a 6 year old to share a seat if possible, or sit on an adult's lap (I recognise you were standing, OP. Unlike some I can read ;) )

Aquilla Tue 13-Nov-18 10:34:38

The six year old should be standing. If he fell he obviously wasn't holding on properly. Poor thing though! Bet he had a fright.

FrancisCrawford Tue 13-Nov-18 10:34:49

I’d expect the six year old to stand for an older lady.
That’s just basic consideration.
Can your six year old ride a scooter? If so, he’s got a sense of balance.

Why didn’t you sit with the four year old on your lap, leaving a seat for this older lady?

MrsEricBana Tue 13-Nov-18 10:35:09

I'm divided on this. I was on a bus at a NT place the other day and was surprised that a lot of the seats were filled by kids while older adults stood but I do accept that a wobbly person of any age be it v young or older should take priority, so maybe their young age was the trump card here.

CakeBiscuit Tue 13-Nov-18 10:36:10

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SilentIsla Tue 13-Nov-18 10:36:22

Children should give up their seats. It’s good manners.

ZackPizzazz Tue 13-Nov-18 10:38:03

My 3yo can't stand on a bus, he'd go flying, and my lap is generally fully occupied by a baby in a sling. Tbh though people always rush to offer HIM a seat if the bus is full when we get on.

My mum was of the "adults take precedence, walk first through doors" school of thought. It never made sense to me as a child and it doesn't now. Children and the elderly are both vulnerable and should take precedence over able-bodied adults.

SilentIsla Tue 13-Nov-18 10:38:06

If parents start from a position of ignorance, what chance do their children have? They won’t know any better.

PineappleTart Tue 13-Nov-18 10:38:42

I don't see why children specifically should offer up their seats. Besides she was offered a seat and refused. Children learn by example, I imagine everyone else just kept their head down and ignored her

CakeBiscuit Tue 13-Nov-18 10:41:12

Children should give up their seats. It’s good manners.

Why children and not other, able-bodied adults?

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Tue 13-Nov-18 10:41:54

I think children should be sitting down on buses as it's safer for them. There is a tendency for people to treat kids like second class citizens - they were on the bus first and therefore got the seats and have no moral obligation to give them up any more than the adults who were on the bus first. That's how public transport works and if she doesn't like the rules, she is free to get a cab!
It doesn't matter that children travel for free - that's the bus company's decision, not the OP's and presumably older people also travel free of charge.
You should have told her to wind her neck in.

HairsprayBabe Tue 13-Nov-18 10:42:09

Why didn't you have the 4y/o on your lap?

You can very easily sit one adult and three small children on a bus seat. Smallest on adults lap, two others squished up.


NotUmbongoUnchained Tue 13-Nov-18 10:42:26

I’d not ask my children to stand. They have as much right to a seat as anyone else.

NotUmbongoUnchained Tue 13-Nov-18 10:42:50

hairspray read the full thread.....

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:42:51

I wasnt sat down, my baby is in a pram and im not going to leave her alone in the pram to sit down and its also not recommended to leave your pram unattended either. tbf the bus whizzed around a sharp corner, he was holding on but it sent him flying.

BertrandRussell Tue 13-Nov-18 10:43:00

If they were 4 and 6 then they shove up and free a seat.

AngelaSchrute Tue 13-Nov-18 10:45:15

At 4 and 6 they are safer sitting down so YANBU.

Obviously bunched up on one seat would probably have been best but if she was rude from the start I wouldn't have made an effort to move them either.

Sirzy Tue 13-Nov-18 10:45:49

NObody would have had to give up a seat if the children where told to squash up and share!

StellaWouldYouTakeMeHome Tue 13-Nov-18 10:49:18

It depends on circumstances really. I’d move kids around if I could But she shouldn’t have bitched.

To me bitched is a discrption of attitude, men can be bitchy too
On a side note, infirm is a horrid word.

HairsprayBabe Tue 13-Nov-18 10:50:28

Sorry started typing ages ago and didn't post!

Why not squish them up then that still stands? Especially if it is a busy route I would have made sure they squished up as soon as they sat down.

My DSD is 6 and we often get the bus with her 3 of us on one seat two adult and a child squished up together is also fine.

Seems like this woman just wanted to have a moan about children and you didn't want to be accommodating to that which is fine.

I don't think I would be pleased if I saw two small children taking up a whole bus seat on a busy bus when they could easily just shuffle up. Then no-one has to stand and it isn't an issue.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat Tue 13-Nov-18 10:52:56

Why children and not other, able-bodied adults?

I guess some would say it's because the children haven't paid for a seat. Having said that it's not like they have an option to pay or not.

Howdoyoudoit31 Tue 13-Nov-18 10:54:47

No I wouldn’t have my children standing on a moving bus. Specially if I was already stood up.

Some other able bodied person can give up there seats instead of children

amicissimma Tue 13-Nov-18 10:55:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsm43s Tue 13-Nov-18 10:56:31

A six year old is old enough to hold on tightly, and I'd expect them to stand.

The four year old, I would expect to stand and hold your hand if you were standing, or on your lap, if you were seated.

The only exception would be after a very long day, or a late night, when they were very tired and needed to sit more than another person.

It's just good manners. If you don't get them to stand for people who need the seat more (and in general adults, especially older ones, do need it more than energetic kids), you are teaching them to be that adult who wouldn't stand to give a pregnant lady or an elderly or disabled person a much needed seat. Is that how you want them to grow up?

Hoppinggreen Tue 13-Nov-18 10:57:25

All depends on age and mobility
Any able bodied person should stand to give their seat to someone who may ave trouble standing for any length of time.
However, if I’ve paid for seats for my dc ( which I do as they are old enough to be paid for) they have as much right as an adult to that seat

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 11:00:59

cant hold their hands, Im holding onto my babies pram and the bar myself usually! seen far too many prams tip i always hang onto mine. And my son DID fall over on the bus so whether other children go to the playground or not is irrelevant. its like saying the woman stood up for 20 minutes waiting for the bus but cant stand up on one when it comes hmm

Exhaustedmummy1811 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:01:07

I'm sorry but I wouldn't make my children stand up, not when there were other adults who could have offered her a seat. I would usually offer my seat but since I'm 20 weeks pregnant I dont think I would be inclined to do so. Maybe if she had asked nicely I would have asked my children to share a seat or stand up but with an attitude like that I would have left her to it tbh

ZackPizzazz Tue 13-Nov-18 11:01:19

A playground is stationary and a child is in control of their movement and momentum. A bus is travelling at up to 30mph and makes sudden unexpected jerks. It takes a good deal of my (healthy, adult) strength and balance to hold on sometimes when the driver slams the brakes. And most of the poles for holding on are beyond the reach of a small child.

whatsthepointthen Tue 13-Nov-18 11:02:34

It's just good manners. If you don't get them to stand for people who need the seat more (and in general adults, especially older ones, do need it more than energetic kids), you are teaching them to be that adult who wouldn't stand to give a pregnant lady or an elderly or disabled person a much needed seat. Is that how you want them to grow up?*

im more concerned about their safety tbh. there was many other people on the bus. she could have targetted someone else rather than small children.

Hisaishi Tue 13-Nov-18 11:04:24

The 4 year old could have sat, but I'd make a 6 year old stand up for an adult tbh, any adult, whatever their age. Or they can just sit together on one seat.

I live in a very child-focused country and watching 10 year olds ramming other people out of the way so they can sit down is very disconcerting to me.

Faithless12 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:06:25

@amicissimma it’s the unpredictability that is the issue and the speed. Plus having an adult fall on a small child is more dangerous than on another adult. I’ve seen enough adults fall that I’d rather children were seated. Why we moan at mothers for children not standing while the young adults sit and ‘sleep’ in the priority seating I have no idea...

MarklahMarklah Tue 13-Nov-18 11:08:20

I'd have told her that she'd been offered a seat and refused so obviously had no need of one. That said, I can be quite rude to people when they piss me off.

I'd say that a child under 8 should sit, as it's difficult to keep your balance on a moving vehicle, as you have already experienced. If there were plenty of other people who were able to get up and give their seats, then it's to them the woman should be directing her venom.

Faithless12 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:11:44

@mrsm43s I teach good manners by modelling them. I have given up my seat when necessary or if possible made DS sit on my lap to offer the seat to someone else. However watching adults run to seats is just as disconcerting. I’ve had men push me out of the way for a seat. Why pick on small children?

temporarilyvoluntarilymerrily Tue 13-Nov-18 11:17:11

My bus hierarchy would be:

Elderly/infirm/pregnant women
Young children
Able-bodied adults
Fat people taking up two seats

I would give up my seat for the first two. Everyone else can go fuck themselves unless the person next to me smelt so I could use it as an excuse to get away from them. grin

81Byerley Tue 13-Nov-18 11:18:21

When my children were young I often sat with two on my lap. I'm 68 now, and though it's harder for me to stand, I will always offer my seat to someone who looks older/more infirm than I am. I think healthy children should give older people their seats... one day it will be their turn to sit! I didn't realise when I was younger that when you hit about 60 you get a lot of aches and pains.

BarbarianMum Tue 13-Nov-18 11:22:00

Can your 6 year old really not manage standing up and holding on tightly on a bus? Mine have been doing it since they mastered the roundabout at the park.

NotUmbongoUnchained Tue 13-Nov-18 11:23:11

I’m 28 and I struggle staying upright on a bus.

Perfectly1mperfect Tue 13-Nov-18 11:23:16

I wouldn't make my children stand for anyone with an attitude like hers. If I did, I would be showing my children that if you be rude and have a strop, you get your own way. As a parent I have spent years teaching my children the opposite !

Also I think at 4 and 6 they are as much in danger of falling as an elderly person, not that someone in their 60s is elderly. I remember falling on a bus when I was probably about 5 and cutting my lip.

The fact that she refused a seat when someone offered her one, shows her up for who she is. Some people are not happy unless they are moaning.

IncomingCannonFire Tue 13-Nov-18 11:23:19

Glad I rarely use buses. All these people loudly but passive aggressively complaining to the air rather than asking politely if they could have the seat.

Gingerivy Tue 13-Nov-18 11:23:23

My children are 9yo and 12yo. If they are sitting, they stay sitting. They are disabled (have autism and hypermobility), and standing on the bus is extremely difficult and uncomfortable (sometimes quite painful) for them. I will stand without a problem, unless my 9yo is struggling, in which case I need to sit with him to keep him calm.

Obviously these disabilities are not "visible" to others, but thankfully have only been questioned a couple times. My children do not like other people being told about their medical conditions when we're out and about (understandably) and I have to respect that to some degree.

Littleredhouse Tue 13-Nov-18 11:25:09

I agree with Hisaishi: I would have got the 6 year old to stand up as to me that's the age when they can hold on a bit better. Under 5s should definitely get priority though.

sleepydeprivy Tue 13-Nov-18 11:26:39

yanbu. Ridiculous to expect 4 & 6 year olds to stand up on a bus, it wouldn't be safe. However I would have possibly given up my seat if the woman was really elderly but not if she looked like a healthy and fit 60 year old.

Does your bus company charge for children's seats, or do they travel free? How does this matter? hmm Children are entitled to travel safely on buses, and unless they are 10+ they can't hold on very well and some bus drivers break like lunatics. It says nowhere that children are only allowed to travel on buses free of charge as long as they give up seats for paying customers. You can't fit 2 4&6 year olds on one seat.

there would have been a whole load of adults who could have given up their seats provided the woman was very elderly, say 70+.

Loyaultemelie Tue 13-Nov-18 11:28:10

I wouldn't automatically expect it no, my mum is in her 60s and is actually far fitter and healthier than I am and I'm 36 with several chronic conditions (most of which aren't visible). My kids are 8 (with some additional needs) and 3 so I would probably have asked the 8 year old to take the 3 year old on her knee, however if the woman was offered a seat by others and just specifically targeted my kids I would pointedly tell them to stay put and giving them a lesson in manners as to why.

Jaxtellerswife Tue 13-Nov-18 11:28:26

@ChardonnaysPrettySister I say bitching about anyone that bitches. Male or female

JacquesHammer Tue 13-Nov-18 11:28:46

DD would have stood on public transport for adults apart from on lengthy train journeys where we booked and paid for a seat.

spidey66 Tue 13-Nov-18 11:30:05

Speaking from the POV of someone who is over 50 but no disabilities (apart from slightly dodgy knees) and is not a parent....

If a child is too small to be safe standing, I would expect them to be seated to ensure they are safe. However, two small kids can bunch up and sit in a space together, or if the parent is seated one of them can sit on a lap. If the child has a buggy and the buggy is not fold up, they can sit in a buggy. If they're tall enough to stand safely (so probably 7 or 8 upwards) they should stand.

BarbarianMum Tue 13-Nov-18 11:32:43

"unless they are 10+ they cant hold on very well"

Oh dont be ridiculous. Go down to your local playground sometime and look at whose on the climbing boulders/top of the climbing frames/roundabouts/standing on the swings/on the scooter ramps. Hint: it's not the over 60s.
Most (but not all) children over 5 can hold on to things pretty well.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall Tue 13-Nov-18 11:32:47

I usually make my DC bunch up onto one seat, they're 6 and nearly 8. That said my 6yo is far more capable of standing holding a pole than my nearly 8yo. I would expect them to get up for anyone who needed a seat more than them, but not someone who wanted it more. If an able bodied adult had offered someone a seat and they refused it I'd tell my DC to carry on sitting where they were though.

CakeBiscuit Tue 13-Nov-18 11:37:02

It's just good manners. If you don't get them to stand for people who need the seat more (and in general adults, especially older ones, do need it more than energetic kids), you are teaching them to be that adult who wouldn't stand to give a pregnant lady or an elderly or disabled person a much needed seat. Is that how you want them to grow up?

Rubbish. I’ve always told my
children they’re not obligated to give up their seats 1950s style to any and every random adult. They know that are just as entitled to sit down as anyone else who is able-bodied.

However, they are now teens and they would, without a doubt, jump up to offer their seat to someone who genuinely needs (or appears to need) it more than them.

And I certainly don’t believe that adults ‘in general’ need a seat more than a child.

ScreamingValenta Tue 13-Nov-18 11:37:27

It says nowhere that children are only allowed to travel on buses free of charge as long as they give up seats for paying customers.

I disagree with 'it says nowhere' - it depends on the conditions of carriage. A quick Google has brought up a couple of examples of bus companies that say exactly that.

Children travelling for free cannot occupy a seat if it is needed by a fare-paying passenger.

A child under 3 years can travel for free if he sits on an adult’s lap (one per full fare paying adult).

Paddingtoncametotownonapony Tue 13-Nov-18 11:37:49

"Can your 6 year old really not manage standing up and holding on tightly on a bus? Mine have been doing it since they mastered the roundabout at the park."

Wow awesome parenting there! star Did your dc master this impressive life skills just to give up their seats for grumpy old women? Seems a bit of a waste of time but I suppose we all have different priorities. Just wondering Barb are you one of those people who make 6 family meals out of a small Asda chicken?

NicePieceOfPlaid Tue 13-Nov-18 11:39:59

Very bad manners on your part and you are rearing children who will be equally bad-mannered. Sorry you can't see that. Sad really.

Autumnrocks Tue 13-Nov-18 11:40:02

I would expect the two children to squeeze up a bit and share a seat so that a standing passenger could sit down, regardless of whether the passenger was old or not.
I was quite shocked the other day when a woman and her child took up two seats in a packed bus instead of the woman sitting the child on her knee. Nobody moaned or said anything at all, but I thought it was selfish of her.

I'm also of the generation that automatically stood for an adult of any age when I was a child and teenager, and now that I'm older I've to stand for children!

brizzledrizzle Tue 13-Nov-18 11:43:55

Given that you were standing and holding the pram I'd say let them sit down because you couldn't safely hold both their hands but I'd have got them to squash up and share a seat.

notangelinajolie Tue 13-Nov-18 11:44:22

At that age my kids would have squished up to let the lady sit down without anyone asking. This is because they were taught manners. Just as I was taught by my mum. Yes please and no thank you were ingrained from a very early age

And just saying ... the lady may or may not have been polite but that is no excuse for them (or you) to behave like her. Your children should have manners to others regardless of how others are behaving. Lead by example OP or they won't learn.

It's your call.

mastertomsmum Tue 13-Nov-18 11:45:35

Personally, I'd expect older kids (secondary school age) to think about giving up their seats - unless they have a huge musical instrument etc with them. Younger adults might also be expected to give up their seats. It's not easy for small children to stand on a crowded bus so I'd not be looking to them to give up seats.

We were once on a bus full of hikers with DC aged less than 2. No one gave up their seats even when they could see DC had fallen asleep. Not great.

nellieellie Tue 13-Nov-18 11:46:48

Definitely would have got my children to stand up at 4 and 6. If younger, would be on my lap. It’s good manners. End of.

ScreamingValenta Tue 13-Nov-18 11:47:55

Autumnrocks It will be interesting to see whether the generation of children that are accustomed to having seats vacated for them by adults, will be vacating their seats for young children when they are grown up.

That is, if buses haven't become obsolete by then!

TheChickenOfTruth Tue 13-Nov-18 11:53:54

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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