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To find it really distasteful to take photos of your children’s gifts?

(226 Posts)
StarfishSandwich Sun 11-Nov-18 21:29:50

I’ve noticed a trend on Facebook for mums to post photos the night before their child’s birthday of a big pile of wrapped up gifts. Or just as bad, after the event posting a picture of a big pile of opened gifts.

Since when does anyone want to see pictures of presents? It feels really tacky and showy.

Somewhereovertherainbow13 Mon 12-Nov-18 07:20:50

I don’t post on FB so maybe it doesn’t count but to me that photo is about reminding myself of how exciting it was to walk and see those presents sat there waiting - whether it’s 2 or 10 presents - it’s still exciting.

Also for what it’s worth you can’t tell the value of those presents so what does it matter how big the pile is. My youngest 2 probably get too many presents but most of them are cheaply bought yet my oldest has a smaller pile which is a lot more expensive, that’s not necessarily bragging

pilates Mon 12-Nov-18 07:25:18

YANBU
I hate show offs.

Feb2018mumma Mon 12-Nov-18 07:30:09

I have one girl who photos and thanks every individual present for her and her child, not say a colouring book but expensive things, she recently put a photo album on Facebook of photos of a car and thanking her husband for the gift... I find it a step too far!

unlimiteddilutingjuice Mon 12-Nov-18 07:41:25

"to me that photo is about reminding myself of how exciting it was to walk and see those presents sat there waiting - whether it’s 2 or 10 presents - it’s still exciting."

Yes, that's it exactly. You've put the kids in bed, cleaned the house, put out the presents. And you know your kids are asleep and that they will wake up and come downstairs to a lovely pile of presents. And you did that for them!
It's a great Mum moment. And it really doesn't matter how much is there or what it costs.
It's the most natural thing in the world to me to take a snap and share that moment with my friends. Especially the other Mums who will be doing the same thing.

wanderings Mon 12-Nov-18 07:47:53

This thread is bingo of MN adjectives: all the good 'uns like "crass", "tacky", "braggy", I'm surprised the almost anagram "grabby" hasn't appeared yet. "It's crass" is the MN reaction to many things. wink

Mind you, I know it's not the situation described in the OP, but as for the child, imagine their frustration if they had to pose for photos holding each present, shaking it, before opening it. I would have hated that kind of delay as a child!

Avegemitesandwich Mon 12-Nov-18 08:02:49

I think there will soon be a backlash against Christmas consumerism, after all there is only so far people can virtue signal about the environment, plastic etc whilst not taking any action themselves. And with that it will become actively frowned upon to get your kids tonnes of crap at Christmas, so the photos will stop.

It's not the photos of presents as such that get me, but when the pile is so huge that its obvious that the kid isn't going to give a shit about 90% of it, it's a bit hmm

I went to school with a guy who is now the most materialistic fucker going. Drives a Bentley, house looks like TOWIE show home, always talking on FB about his latest TV purchase or whatever. One Christmas he put a picture up of the vilest pile of presents ever, for his two year old. It was unbelievable! Even some of the comments which were normally quite fawny were like 'WTF'!

Avegemitesandwich Mon 12-Nov-18 08:03:37

Sorry, when I say vilest pile of presents, I meant vile as in absolutely huge!

Oblomov18 Mon 12-Nov-18 08:05:39

I hate it. I think it's vile, and Braggy and just horrible.
35 presents and 15 balloons. Yuk.

Avegemitesandwich Mon 12-Nov-18 08:08:25

To be honest though, what irks me more than pics of kids presents is when a 43 year old woman will lay out the presents and cards for her birthday/mothers day/Valentines day (usually with Pandora or Tiffany featuring somewhere), take a photo and put it on FB. Inevitably accompanied by the words 'spoilt rotten.

Oblomov18 Mon 12-Nov-18 08:10:22

I wouldn't mind if it was low key. One main present: an x box or a bike or a makeup set or something? And a few minor ones. A few cards with money inside? Great.

But it's the OTT'ness of it.
I counted 45 presents on one recent post. That seems excessive.

MarthasGinYard Mon 12-Nov-18 08:11:04

'To be honest though, what irks me more than pics of kids presents is when a 43 year old woman will lay out the presents and cards for her birthday/mothers day/Valentines day (usually with Pandora or Tiffany featuring somewhere), take a photo and put it on FB. Inevitably accompanied by the words 'spoilt rotten.'

Ugh

Now there had to be some 'pandora' or 'Tiffany' in there somewhere
😂

MrsDrSpencerReid Mon 12-Nov-18 08:11:44

I don’t see the big deal, most people on my social media post present photos.

I love seeing how people set things up differently, do they do santa sacks? Stockings? Pile them up under the tree? Do they do a big birthday spread with balloons and streamers? Colour coordinated wrapping?

Sometimes I post, sometimes I don’t. I always do a ‘Santa’s been’ photo after I put the presents out, as do most people I know. Sometimes I’ll do a birthday photo with DC with their wrapped presents, sometimes just a photo of them with their favourite present. I love seeing what other people have given their kids, gives me ideas for mine!

I do think the presents draped all over the lounge and floor, or the pictures of kids holding up each present one at a time is a bit much, but I usually just chuckle and say “get a load of this” to DH and then scroll on.

I’m in Australia, not sure if that makes a difference but where I am people also have baby showers and wishing wells at weddings grin

Bellabutterfly2016 Mon 12-Nov-18 08:42:37

Don't - I belong to a fb group, 6 of us mummy's from a baby group and 2 of the women permanently post pictures of bottles of champagne next to their bath, new cars, hot tubs, horses - you name it they compete against each other and I know I and at least 1 of the other mummy's think it's in really bad taste.

They've already pasted photos of big piles of presents 🎁 they've been getting ready.

1 of the women is now in her own and really struggles (food bank last month kind of struggle) and I just think this sort of boasting is in bad taste when some people are having a tough time of it.

HopeGarden Mon 12-Nov-18 09:12:36

I’ve got mixed feelings about this.

The present photos I see on FB tend to fall into 2 camps:

Firstly, photo(s) of child with opened presents and parent has commented something like “DC loves their presents, thank you to friends / family / classmates who came to DC’s party”
That sort, I’m fine with, it’s more like an alternative to sending out thank you cards, and it’s nice for the present giver to see their gift was appreciated.

And then secondly, there’s the photos with stacks of wrapped gifts, usually all in the same paper so the gifts are obviously from the parents.
Those photos I like a lot less. Mostly because I see the piles of presents and start thinking that I’ve bought less for my DC - will they be upset that so and so has several times more presents from their parents, does buying less presents make us bad parents, why aren’t I organised enough to arrange our presents so nicely etc etc.

But this is my problem really, not theirs.
And usually once I give my head a wobble and remind myself of the good reasons why we’ve bought the (almost always smaller ) amount of presents we did, I can forget about it and move on with my day.

brizzledrizzle Mon 12-Nov-18 09:35:17

I'd take the picture if I wanted to but I wouldn't share it on FB. There is somebody I know who does this at every opportunity - Easter gifts etc - and it's always way over the top. They have 3 children and half the room is covered with presents.

ProfessorMoody Mon 12-Nov-18 09:35:23

Owning and buying stuff is not an accomplishment

Actually, it is to me. As a disabled person with an extremely low income, I struggle like fuck to buy presents for my family. If I can earn a bit to pay for things despite feeling like I do and battling many hurdles, then it's an accomplishment. But I don't post a photo for that reason. I post one because I love seeing them pop up on my feed every year and I enjoy the feeling that I did that.

brizzledrizzle Mon 12-Nov-18 09:43:34

But I don't post a photo for that reason. I post one because I love seeing them pop up on my feed every year and I enjoy the feeling that I did that.

I get that, I like it when I get reminders of things as well. Sometimes I will post things but set the audience to 'only me' so I can see the reminder in a years time but nobody else does.

thecatsthecats Mon 12-Nov-18 09:53:05

I have a WhatsApp group who are all on Instagram, and I'm not. If they feel like I'm 'missing out' on a 'gram', the screenshot it to the group.

Not a meme, or a piece of news. But say, when three of us sent flowers to the fourth, she posted on Instagram thanking us. I mean, sure it's nice that they wanted to pass on the thanks, but there's a perfectly good place to o that - the WhatsApp group!

drspouse Mon 12-Nov-18 09:58:54

I always feel slightly guilty on xmas morning when my kids have like two or three presents to open and my friends post up what looks like a whole room of gifts
I don't, and thankfully several of my parent friends on social media don't either, because we know that too many presents overwhelm our children (some of whom have SEN) and we're limiting the numbers/giving experiences/spreading them out over several days/all three, and we post about that. Once one parent has done that it's easy to "own up" to not having loads of presents under the tree.

Quipsandquotes Mon 12-Nov-18 10:08:20

It's shallow and materialistic to post a big leaning tower of pisa of presents on FB. That's not what Christmas should be all about, but some people seem to think the bigger the pile of gifts, the better and more meaningful the Christmas.

I hate that mindset.

YANBU OP.

puffyisgood Mon 12-Nov-18 10:12:40

it's nauseating to me, but it's not, y'know, objectively nauseating - different people like different things/do things differently.

PhilomenaButterfly Mon 12-Nov-18 10:33:41

We have very little money. From us, the 2 younger DC get clothes/dress up/pyjamas and a toy/video game. From "Father Christmas" (DS2 believes, DD goes along with it for him) they get something small and some chocolates. DS1 gets a Lego eGift card, as I think Lego is all he really wants, and he's got so much I wouldn't risk getting it myself. Also, he can put it towards something bigger.

BasicUsername Mon 12-Nov-18 10:34:23

I really like seeing people post pictures the night before Christmas.

I think it's lovely to see the time and effort that people have put in to buying thoughtful gifts, wrapping them in pretty paper, the tree all lit, maybe a log fire going and the stockings hung up. It all adds to the excitement for me.

I have never posted pictures of presents, but I don't update Facebook very often. I enjoy seeing what others have done though. It seems very joyless to begrudge others posting about what makes them happy.

EmeraldShamrock Mon 12-Nov-18 10:35:22

I never did. I lived in a place for years that everyone has to have bigger or better things, everyone copied but increased. A very close area. Around 6 years ago as Christmas eve was approaching, One of the tougher DMs put up a post, saying wait and see everyone selfishly bragging with their spoilt kids and Fakebook shit. The photos reduced by tons. grin

SpecialLittlePrince Mon 12-Nov-18 10:45:30

Why do people always pretend that events will be wiped from their memory if not posted on SM?

They won't you know.

ProfessorMoody Mon 12-Nov-18 10:50:28

You can remember every pile of presents from every year? I can't. I can't remember what things we did on what Christmas, or who was there. I have poor memory, so reminders are lovely.

Openup41 Mon 12-Nov-18 10:56:10

Boasting is boasting whether on SM or face to face. I have unfollowed people who post their birthday or Christmas gifts on FB/Instagram. I recall an ex friend who bought a new car (Range Rover) just before visiting me. She mentioned she had something for me in the car when leaving my house which meant I followed her to her car. I wondered why she did not bring the gift out earlier. I then realised...............

wanderings Mon 12-Nov-18 10:57:07

Why do people always pretend that events will be wiped from their memory if not posted on SM?
I used to wonder this aged eight or nine when my mum made such a big thing of making us write diaries. It was a chore which I disliked about holidays.

SpecialLittlePrince Mon 12-Nov-18 10:57:41

You can still take photos without uploading to SM, no? Most people do.

practicallyperfectmummy Mon 12-Nov-18 11:13:38

Yes! I really hate this. I think practically all my parent friends on social media do this. It's really become a thing. A massive pile of presents in front of the fire places, with balloons all laid out. It's looks grossly boastful, especially when it's a 1st birthday and have a ridiculous pile of presents. I also think of the parents that must see that massive pile and think I can't afford that huge amount. I really hate seeing it.

EvaReady Mon 12-Nov-18 11:28:47

I have unfollowed too many people from facebook - so many dull braggarts.I suggest if this stuff bothers you just make use of the unfollow button.

Madmarchpear Mon 12-Nov-18 11:33:12

It's naff as fuck. It's usually the same people who post pics of their unimaginative yet massive engagement solitaires and piles of Pandora, Jo Malone, Michael Kors branded giftbags on their own birthdays.

OutPinked Mon 12-Nov-18 11:44:54

I don’t do FB but have Instagram and have posted a pic of my DC opening presents before. Not to brag or show off, it’s just a happy occasion I wanted to share. I don’t think it constitutes as showing off anyway since I don’t go crazy on presents, I hate waste.

LasMeninas Mon 12-Nov-18 11:45:39

I take a lot of pictures of my children. Mostly for us to look back on in the future. Occasionally I share one with my family on Whatsapp or the group I'm in with my five closest friends, and they do likewise.

Why would I put them on facebook?

Andromeida59 Mon 12-Nov-18 13:47:07

It's almost as bad as the pictures of people's larders and pantries full to the brim and then the same people announcing that they'll probably throw half of it away.
I remember one Christmas going to a family member's. Their son had numerous black bags full of presents. He would pull part of the wrapping off, throw it aside and then be on to the next gift. It took nearly to hours.

Buying mounds of plastic tat that is probably destined for the bin, is no achievement.

Semifeatured Mon 12-Nov-18 13:48:42

For me anyway it's excitement on my part and not being able to wait until I see her face, so desperately perhaps hoping someone else will say Wow. I'm pathetic . It's definitely not boasting or bragging as those who know me know I have nothing to boast about and the only people I have on FB know the ins and outs completely. My friends and close family are usually delighted to see what I post. or are too polite to tell me otherwise

blackchina Mon 12-Nov-18 13:49:14

I honestly can't get worked up about what other people do!

Andromeida59 Mon 12-Nov-18 13:49:39

*two

Emma765 Mon 12-Nov-18 13:51:09

People are just happy and excited.

So many posts on here where posters just want to shoot people down calling them tacky, distasteful, crass etc just because they're excited and want to share with people who they consider to be their friends.

If you feel that way about the people that post these pictures I recommend you unfriend them as I imagine they wouldn't want you to be their friend if they knew how you felt about them.

I can't imagine the unhappiness you must feel within yourselves to feel so much judgement about something so trivial.

blackchina Mon 12-Nov-18 13:52:37

I agree with Emma ^ I don't think there is anything wrong with sharing pics of your kids, and their gifts they got, and it seems rather mean to start a thread bashing someone for doing something YOU don't. hmm

ProfessorMoody Mon 12-Nov-18 13:57:45

Awful isn't it, Emma? I'm so glad I'm not like these miserable people who scoff about other people's likes, enjoyment and children. There are some horrible people on MN at the moment, sneering at everything people do.

Child still believes in Santa? You are cruel and the kid has no thinking skills.

Post a picture of presents? You are tacky and boast and your friends laugh at you behind your back.

Like something such as Pandora? You are a "chav" with no class or taste and people mock you secretly.

I have never, ever come across this mindset in real life. I know wonderful people who wear Pandora, I know wonderful people who enjoy their children's happiness and I know wonderful people who like to let children be children. People who don't mock, or sneer, or judge.

I think the ones that do, on MN, perhaps have deep set problems in their own lives, so it makes them feel better to hide online and attempt to hurt others to make themselves feel better. In real life, not many decent people have the time or inclination to get worked up about what other people wear, enjoy or do with their children. It's very sad.

Ironfloor269 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:04:27

I think it's vulgar and show offy. If you must save those memories, fine, upload them on fb but change privacy setting so that only you (or close family) can see them, not each and everyone on your social media.

ineedabagformyhippo Mon 12-Nov-18 14:04:54

YANBU, it's tacky, and usually the parents who equate big piles of plastic crap with a #magicalchristmas #makingmemories etc etc

Semifeatured Mon 12-Nov-18 14:08:40

The biblical quote that comes to mind is "It is in giving that we receive". That for me is true.
Except on FB. Where I'm bragging. I'm really not. I'm just getting joy from giving and want to share that happiness. Because I'm a sad case

Emma765 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:08:59

Why, @Ironfloor? I don't have kids yet, but the majority of my friends who do have kids, post these pictures on Christmas eve. I love them. It's so lovely to see the tree all lit up, with the presents around it and it's so lovely to know that my friends are so excited at the thought of how excited their kids are going to be the next day, I love sharing in that because I care about these people.

If you don't want to share in others' excitement and happiness, you're no friend of theirs, in my opinion. I certainly wouldn't want a friend who would resent me wanting to share that with them.

Semifeatured Mon 12-Nov-18 14:09:59

Some of us don't have every single person we've encountered throughout our lives on FB. I have friends who have 700 friends on there. I have 22.

Semifeatured Mon 12-Nov-18 14:12:19

I'm guessing, if the posts are annoying you that you have 'friends' who aren't actually friends on there. So you should do a cull.

ProfessorMoody Mon 12-Nov-18 14:14:43

If you must save those memories, fine, upload them on fb but change privacy setting so that only you (or close family) can see them

No. Because it's my Facebook.

HTH.

zeezee3 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:22:51

YABVU. Just unfollow the person so you don't see the posts.

zeezee3 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:23:32

I agree with a pp that I wonder if you are even friends with this person as you seem to not like them much.

blackchina Mon 12-Nov-18 14:23:42

@Ironfloor269

I think it's vulgar and show offy. If you must save those memories, fine, upload them on fb but change privacy setting so that only you (or close family) can see them, not each and everyone on your social media.

Why on earth SHOULD they? hmm Why don't YOU change YOUR settings, and unfollow people who clearly annoy you so much with posting their happy family photos?!

Or do them a favour and unfriend them!

Good grief there are some angry and bitter people on here. sad

Getting all het up because people share nice family photos on SOCIAL MEDIA! if it upsets people THAT much, then delete your bloody facebook!

BettyBizzghetti Mon 12-Nov-18 14:39:06

I’m one of them parents, 🙋🏼 And quite honestly don’t give a shit what you think 😊 so what if I’m happy my kids are another year older, it’s memories, it’s not about the presents about being thankful they’ve made it another year, life is to short and I wanna remember it as best possible for the time we do have. I work hard and am glad I can give my kids a day to remember. My mum did it for me and my brother (filming and lots of pictures) I’d rather my kids got up and see shit loads of balloons and some presents than the parents arguing and no one bothering. I wanna share with my family that one of my favourite people in the whole world has a special day, that’s what I live for, so it’s tacky, So are a lot of things people post on Facebook. Just get over yourselves and scroll down if you don’t wanna see it.

Just ugh.

It is a class thing?

Ironfloor269 Mon 12-Nov-18 14:45:03

@blackchina, I still think it's vulgar and crass. Sorry. That's my opinion. You are more than welcome not to agree though.

Semifeatured Mon 12-Nov-18 15:09:43

Why is it vulgar and crass? It's innocent as fuck in my opinion.
It's not showing what 'I got'. It's showing what you're giving because you're excited about giving?

Emma765 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:12:47

@BettyBizzghetti Really? Did you actually just say that?

ProfessorMoody Mon 12-Nov-18 15:16:30

Is it a class thing

Are you saying that I'm inferior to you?

BasicUsername Mon 12-Nov-18 15:17:56

@Emma765

I thought the same thing.

Clearly @BettyBizzghetti thinks that she is a member of the upper echelons of society. I fully expect to find her in Debretts 😂

Semifeatured Mon 12-Nov-18 15:21:50

If it's a class thing, most royal visits include gift giving in their coverage. Two I can think of is Harry and Meghan being given little Uggs in Australia and something else for the baby somewhere else on their recent travels.
So, if it's a class thing, I'm up there with the best of them. wink

ProfessorMoody Mon 12-Nov-18 15:23:42

I always find it's the unintelligent that bring class into an argument. It shows a lack of class. Classy people wouldn't go onto the Internet and slate others for their Facebook photos because they genuinely don't give a fuck.

Emma765 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:26:25

@Semifeatured clearly Sir Peter Cosgrove should have ensured that no cameras were on him when he gave the Ugg boots to Harry and Meghan, because it's ever so crass and lower class to allow anyone to see that you're giving someone a gift!

Mia1415 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:26:58

I’m one of them parents, 🙋🏼 And quite honestly don’t give a shit what you think 😊 so what if I’m happy my kids are another year older, it’s memories, it’s not about the presents about being thankful they’ve made it another year, life is to short and I wanna remember it as best possible for the time we do have. I work hard and am glad I can give my kids a day to remember. My mum did it for me and my brother (filming and lots of pictures) I’d rather my kids got up and see shit loads of balloons and some presents than the parents arguing and no one bothering. I wanna share with my family that one of my favourite people in the whole world has a special day, that’s what I live for, so it’s tacky, So are a lot of things people post on Facebook. Just get over yourselves and scroll down if you don’t wanna see it.

Me too!

JudasPrudy Mon 12-Nov-18 15:29:08

It just makes me a bit sad, the consumerism of Christmas, how it's all about getting stuff. But I can see why people do it.

What I really don't like seeing is a carefully displayed pile of presents from the person's partner with #spoiltgirl #theboydidgood. Feels like a competition of who has the best boyfriend/husband - who loves their partner the most.

legalseagull Mon 12-Nov-18 15:31:19

God parents can't do anything right nowadays without being judged. Who cares if they post photos? Maybe they think it's really special and they want to share it with their (so called) friends. Take your judgey pants off.

gamerwidow Mon 12-Nov-18 15:43:26

What I really don't like seeing is a carefully displayed pile of presents from the person's partner with #spoiltgirl #theboydidgood. Feels like a competition of who has the best boyfriend/husband - who loves their partner the most.

Those posts always ring alarm bells for me. My sister was always posting those types of posts forgetting to mention they were apologies from her exP for knocking 7 bells out of her earlier.

MarthasGinYard Mon 12-Nov-18 15:54:24

Phew thank goodness I'm not on Fb is this actually a thing??

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Mon 12-Nov-18 15:57:46

I get worked up when the mums and dads I know who sit around on the arses all day not working post about buying little Mercedes an iPad with beats headphones.

Emma765 Mon 12-Nov-18 15:59:08

Is what actually a thing @Martha? That people post pictures of their trees all set up with presents on Christmas Eve, or that other people are such judgemental arseholes about what others put on Facebook?

LasMeninas Mon 12-Nov-18 16:16:10

So many posts on here where posters just want to shoot people down calling them tacky, distasteful, crass etc just because they're excited and want to share with people who they consider to be their friends

This is probably partly true, the only problem with it (and the reason why social media feels inherently show-offy) is that most people share things with a huge circle of people, of which 90% are not really friends.

A lot of people I guess aren't knowledgeable enough or bothered enough about privacy settings, so you end up in this situation where you want to stay vaguely in touch with someone, so being facebook friends makes sense, but you don't want to see pictures of what they're having for dinner or their kid's first poo in the potty. And I think it works both ways in terms of responsibility for that.

I just got rid of facebook a couple of years ago and use whatsapp instead, where I can talk to and share photos with my family and actual friends. I honestly have not missed the updates from people I was at uni with 15 years ago or people I worked with for 6 months in 2011.

Limensoda Mon 12-Nov-18 16:21:24

I suppose it's showing off?
'Look how many gifts we've bought our child!'

Queenofthedrivensnow Mon 12-Nov-18 17:35:14

I posted dd2 presents on Instagram. I have a private account and only 154 followers. She got the giant barbie campervan if you want to judge me a bit more.

BettyBizzghetti Mon 12-Nov-18 22:42:04

I always find it's the unintelligent that bring class into an argument. It shows a lack of class. Classy people wouldn't go onto the Internet and slate others for their Facebook photos because they genuinely don't give a fuck

Touché, @ProfessorMoody?

I don't have a Facebook account, so I'm not sure why I would actually be bothered by this. It's just the idea of it that's generally grotesque, I suppose.

BadLad Mon 12-Nov-18 23:20:08

I always find it's the unintelligent that bring class into an argument.

She shoots. She scores!

It shows a lack of class.

And immediately scores an own goal.

ProfessorMoody Tue 13-Nov-18 08:23:56

Or, you could just let people get on with their own lives. Why do you care? It's bizarre.

SpecialLittlePrince Tue 13-Nov-18 08:38:40

You can think something isn't for you and still not care about it. It's the people who do if and say they don't care what anyone thinks, that seem to get upset.

OnlyMakeBelieve Tue 13-Nov-18 08:45:30

It's not as bad as the gushy posts to one-year-old Timmy telling him what an amazing person he is and how he's changed their lives and brought world peace and happiness to everyone.

ProfessorMoody Tue 13-Nov-18 08:45:49

But if they didn't care about it, they wouldn't come onto an Internet forum, make multiple posts about it, mock people, call others venomous names and attept to put themselves in a position of superiority. That reeks of caring. Which brings me back to, why care?

SpecialLittlePrince Tue 13-Nov-18 09:12:38

They don't care, they really don't. It's perfectly possible to say e.g a dress is hideous without caring about it.

And it doesn't mean you're a shit friend, shit human being, soulless bla bla bla if you saw a FB post of your friend in that dress and thought it was hideous. And it doesn't mean you care about her hideous dress.

EvaReady Tue 13-Nov-18 09:21:55

Plenty of people on here saying they don't care what people think about them posting pics of their big piles of presents and yet they are still hanging around this thread too. There's a lots of not caring on both sides - so why the debate? grin

ProfessorMoody Tue 13-Nov-18 09:41:21

I disagree. If you genuinely didn't care, it wouldn't enter your head other than a fleeting thought and you certainly wouldn't spend time on various forms of social media and Internet forums proclaiming your disgust.

I don't care what people think of me, no, but I do care about people trying to look down on others. I'll stand up for that all day long - it's very sad to feel the need to name call, put people down, call them "classless" etc over something that they like to do that quite literally causes no harm to anyone else.

headinhands Tue 13-Nov-18 09:44:42

It's akin to gathering up your most expensive items and uploading a pic to Facebook. 'Look at all the things I have (that might be better than the things you've got.)'

SpecialLittlePrince Tue 13-Nov-18 09:48:32

Honestly, you're the only one who seems to care.

And I haven't proclaimed disgust anywhere, nor have most of the posters here.

It causes no harm to anyone if you want to post pics of piles of presents, and causes no harm if some people think it's distasteful.

It really doesn't matter.

ProfessorMoody Tue 13-Nov-18 09:52:17

I said above I care, about people being horrid about others. If you don't think they have been, I suggest you RTFT.

You think nastiness doesn't matter? Again, I disagree. All nastiness matters.

SpecialLittlePrince Tue 13-Nov-18 10:05:28

Yes it does. From both sides, which has been demonstrated here.

Oldgranny Tue 13-Nov-18 10:43:04

Don't look, simples.

storm11111 Tue 13-Nov-18 13:00:48

OP just wrap up a load of cardboard boxes and fill the room. halo

howardbear Tue 13-Nov-18 14:21:56

I used to do this until I read on here how distasteful/vulgar/crass it is and how anyone who does it must be bragging/insecure/it’s probably all rubbish etc and then I stopped because I didn’t want people to think that about me when it really wasn’t about that at all.

Problem now is I barely post anything on Facebook just incase people think I’m bragging; holiday photos nope, fun family days out nope, school fancy dress days nope...there’s always that thought in the back of my mind that there are people on my friends list that may think like most on here that I’m only doing so to show off hmm

So now I’m probably thought of as being there so I can scroll and judge those that do, when in fact I’m there because I enjoy seeing what the people I know are getting up to, it’s just a shame they don’t see much of me because I’m too worried of being judged for it.

InProgress Tue 13-Nov-18 14:28:10

I take this photo and put it on fb with a small collection of DC photos opening presents. I do it for the memory of that day so when I'm older (or pop my clogs) myself and my children can remember the day.

On a side note my DCs get final approval on the choice of photos. If they don't want a particular photo of themselves on it doesn't go on.

mostdays Tue 13-Nov-18 14:29:43

My mum has lots of pictures of our Christmas presents under the tree.

Both my parents were poor as children, my mum very much so. There were no piles of presents under the tree or anywhere else. My parents worked very hard indeed to give my brother and I as much as they possibly could. They were not into spoiling for the sake of it- if anything they were known as rather strict and quite restrictive parents- but they bloody loved making a big deal out of Christmas.

There was, obviously, no facebook when I was a child in the early 80s, so the photos my mum has were not shared. They would have been, though. When you have started life very poor and got to a stage where you can give your own children a pile of Christmas presents without going into hideous debt for them, you value it. There's joy in it.

InProgress Tue 13-Nov-18 14:30:52

Most people can post pics of their extended family on Christmas Day, I see lots of those photos. Whereas I don't have extended family so the day can't centre around that if you see what I mean.

mostdays Tue 13-Nov-18 14:31:00

Oh howard, post whatever you want to post and don't spare the judgers a thought. If they want to go all cats bum mouth and label people as 'tacky' that's their problem, not ours!

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 Tue 13-Nov-18 23:53:43

Howard post whatever you like. I, like most people, love seeing people's happy snaps on fb. If people think you are being braggy, that's their problem not yours.

MistressDeeCee Wed 14-Nov-18 00:12:42

Must be people on Facebook who have less and feel like shit, seeing all that. I don't suppose that really matters though in the important of showing off

EmeraldShamrock Wed 14-Nov-18 00:58:18

I think it bothers some because of the family who can't fill the floor with presents. They're looking at yours, probably thinking everyone's wondering in FB world why they haven't uploaded a photo, and if they do upload and it is not enough.
Then their DC would like to see pics of their cousins friends on FB, surrounded by gifts.
I try to be mindful of those with less.

EmeraldShamrock Wed 14-Nov-18 01:01:16

Also meant to say Howard I loved to see peoples good news and holidays when I was on FB. The only part I was hmmm about was Christmas eve when the uploads of mountains of presents started at 1am.

Snitzelvoncrumb Wed 14-Nov-18 01:48:12

I find Facebook is a bit of a competition for who has the best life. I noticed I felt like crap not being invited to something, or worrying I wasn't buying a thousand toys for my kids Christmas, even though I don't like to buy too much as I'm trying to put less focus on material stuff. I was comparing myself to others and if I'm honest I deliberately posted pics of a fun day out to make a point of not inviting a friend. I was trying to keep up with the Jones, which was what a lot of others were doing too and constantly posting crap. I realised what I was doing so I unfollowed everyone. I still have it to get school information, and read parenting articles that tell me I'm doing it all wrong. There is no need to post photos of every gift, every trip to the park, every play date, people get too caught up with worrying about what everyone else is doing. Why on earth do people need to check in? It should be called oneuponyoubook. I'm just glad I realised what I was doing. You shouldn't judge people that post all the present pics, maybe it's just their thing, but if you feel like you don't want to see that, just unfollow them.

dogwoofbark Wed 14-Nov-18 02:03:09

My sister in law posts a picture of every single birthday and Christmas present she gets. Fucking demented.

"Ohhhh I got a Yankee Candle and another pandora charm. I'm so blessed by my gorge hubby."

Go fuck yourself and choke on your cheap 'bubbles' you simpering twat.

dogwoofbark Wed 14-Nov-18 02:04:11

She actually poses with each one too. Cunt puffin.

AjasLipstick Wed 14-Nov-18 03:49:04

Emerald and let's not forget, it's often those with the most money who buy the least gifts. My richest friend got her DD a minty sports mouth-guard and a new riding outfit last Christmas. That's because she has everything already. Oh and she always does a stocking full of sweets and maybe a little toy for a joke.

Useasinnertofind Wed 14-Nov-18 04:37:31

Each to their own. But I do find it's the ones who do this and claim it's just because it makes them happy or they want it on their timeline are also the ones that get pissy if they don't receive 'wow!' comments or likes.

I don't mind attention seeking but at least be honest about it and don't try to dress it up as something else.

Snitzelvoncrumb Wed 14-Nov-18 05:26:52

Exactly. You post things on Facebook because you want people to see it, it's the point of Facebook. There are other options if you want a record on your time line, or want to show immediate family. It's braggy, and that's ok, but don't make excuses.

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