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Traumatic birth. Readmitted to same room

(119 Posts)
CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:45:51

Probably am BU as I know how short staffed the NHS is and how few beds there are. I know I'm lucky to have this healthcare, and am more looking for words of wisdom rather than to be told IABU.

I had a very traumatic birth 2 weeks ago. Huge failings on the midwives part, had a debrief and it's now sitting with the head of midwives who is going to contact me soon as she's not happy with what happened.

I was ignored and mistreated throughout my labour, and am now extremely down because of it and am being closely monitored by HV. I feel I am developing PND and GP agrees and has arranged for me to receive some counselling.

I now have endometritis and have been readmitted to hospital. The exact same side room I laboured in (nobody believed I was in labour so spent my entire labour in the MAU). It's brought back huge floods of memories and I've asked to be moved... they have no beds elsewhere... full!

What do I do? I can't cope with being here and just want to floor to swallow me up. I can hear babies crying and women in labour and I'm just so stressed by it all. If I could wish for anything it would be to give birth again without the trauma, which is how it could and should have been had my midwife been competent. Yes, if I had a choice I would go through it all again tomorrow. Listening to labouring women is for some reason really, really hard. WIBU to ask to switch me with someone else? Is that excessive? I feel IABU but this is really hard...

SnuggyBuggy Thu 08-Nov-18 18:48:04

I'm sorry you are in this situation OP. Have they given you any idea how long you are in for?

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:50:06

snuggy I'll be in for 48 hours at least. Enough time for IV penicillin and then oral antibiotics which I'll need to be monitored for whilst taking.

BiologyMatters Thu 08-Nov-18 18:50:12

No it's not excessive to be upset that they've put you in that room when you've made clear you're struggling is awful. Can you contact pals now and see what they say? I would have probably had a panic attack and a breakdown in that situation after my traumatic birth.

bridgetreilly Thu 08-Nov-18 18:52:18

I think it's perfectly reasonable to be upset about it, but I also think that there are limits to what the hospital may be able to do to change the situation. I'm sorry it sucks, though.

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:52:25

@BiologyMatters their PALS office isn't open until tomorrow but I can definitely try in the morning. It's going to be a really long night...

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:54:07

@bridgetreilly part of me thinks you're right. Part of me thinks that they know their failings and how traumatic the birth was for me and that being in the same room is distressing. 2 weeks PP is such an important time for mental health and it even says on my purple notes 'high risk for PND'

BiologyMatters Thu 08-Nov-18 18:54:08

I'm sorry op flowers can anyone bring you some ear plugs so you can try and block out the noise?

horizonglimmer Thu 08-Nov-18 18:54:10

They don't need to find a spare room surely, just swap you with someone else?

Thehop Thu 08-Nov-18 18:54:25

I’m so sorry. I remember the room I birthed my first in and I’d hate to go back. Hand hold from me xx

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:55:24

biology I'm scared if I wear ear plugs I won't be able to hear my baby. But I may have to try if push comes to shove. I've got some in my purse.

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:56:09

@horizonglimmer that's what I asked but they said it's not fair on the other women to start swapping them round. I guess that's understandable.

BiologyMatters Thu 08-Nov-18 18:56:36

Have you made much of a fuss? The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:57:45

biology I genuinely don't have it in me to make a big fuss. I have no energy. I'm just sat crying in my room.

MissMalice Thu 08-Nov-18 18:58:40

The other patient will be inconvenienced. You are traumatised. Have you got a family member who can insist that you’re moved?

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 18:59:25

@MissMalice I might call my FIL who lives round the corner. He's usually good with stuff like this..

nocoolnamesleft Thu 08-Nov-18 19:00:03

There should be pretty quick turnover of beds, given the push for early discharge. Can you ask to be moved as soon as an alternative is available? And you could state that you have no problem being moved late at night!

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 19:02:46

@nocoolnamesleft Im in a side room and they want to keep me in a side room as this is their protocol for people with an infection (they haven't confirmed that it's definitely endometritis so currently it's technically fever/infection of unknown origin). So I need to wait for one of their 4 side rooms to become available.

BiologyMatters Thu 08-Nov-18 19:04:38

Definitely get your fil involved. You need an advocate flowers

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 19:06:36

I'm also stupid as I could've just gone to an a&e at another hospital. Then I wouldn't have had this problem. All I'm left with now is an overwhelming feeling of wanting my labour back.

EmUntitled Thu 08-Nov-18 19:07:33

Call someone in to advocate for person will be slightly inconvenienced for a few minutes while they move rooms. That is nothing compared to you suffering all night. They need to take you more seriously and that will be easier if someone is there to speak for you when you are not feeling up to it.

havingabadhairday Thu 08-Nov-18 19:10:46

"but they said it's not fair on the other women to start swapping them round. I guess that's understandable."

Good grief, nobody cared about moving me from a room to the ward when someone needed it more, even though I was in the middle of my first successful feed of my baby nearly 24hrs after he was born. They just barged in as well. So I'm not sure they're really that bothered about inconveniencing other women - if they wanted to move you they could.

TheBananaStand2 Thu 08-Nov-18 19:12:27

Op, I had really similar treatment during labour. It was awful. I’m sorry you’re back there - that must be tough. I wonder if there’s a nationwide issue with trusting women in labour. My hospital is in the south east - how about yours? I sometimes wonder if I’d been more vocal and made more of a fuss things would have been different: they didn’t seem to believe I was in active labour (I was) because I wasn’t screaming the house down. It was so frustrating! Maybe try screaming the house down! Or failing that, ask someone to bring you some earplugs so you can drown out the noise of the other patients labouring and try and zone out until hopefully they move you. This time is going to pass, and you’re going to get through it ok. Xx

CarmelitasMango Thu 08-Nov-18 19:12:48

@havingabadhairday based upon the way I was treated during my labour I can't imagine some of the midwives here care one jot about me...

BiologyMatters Thu 08-Nov-18 19:14:27

All the while they don't have to move you they won't. Sadly your mental health might rank below their inconvenience for some staff. If you can get fil to make enough fuss I expect they would move you. Don't worry about being seen as difficult.

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