Partner not earning enough to pay CSA amount should we lower it?

HDS18 · 2018-10-23 14:52:50

Hello, I have been with my current partner for two years and have recently bought our first house together. He was previously married and has a 5 year old who I have a great relationship with. We would like to start trying for a baby next year but I am concerned about finances. He is currently going through a divorce which he has paid all fees for. We have had the decree nisi so just waiting for it to complete over the next few weeks. Within the divorce he has also had a clean break document drawn up. This outlines the amount of child maintenance he pays among other assets and how they were split (money from the family house 70/30 to her and she took all assets including the car etc). My partner is self employed and unfortunately is not able to bring home a wage for at least the next three months.I am currently covering all household bills, personal bills and now my partners monthly outgoings. This will leave me with - £130 each month. We have reduced all bills and carefully planned everything down to our weekly food shop and how to lower it. Only necessities will be bought. The only other thing we can look to lower is the child maintenance payments. My partner currently pays nearly three times the amount CSA outlines. We have broached this with his ex and as you may imagine all hell has broken lose. We have explained that this is a temporary measure as the maintenance payments are all we can afford on one wage- and are well over what CSA advise. We have even suggested making payments up when work picks up for my partner which could be a matter of weeks! She is having none of it and is now threatening to contest the divorce, and has said we will be liable for all solicitor costs as we are going against the clean break doc. The document is under 12 months old so I don't know where we stand even though my partner is bringing no money home? Are we being unreasonable to lower payments? It wont have a huge impact on my partners daughter she has a very privileged life with her 3 horses, 3-4 holidays a year etc. Whereas we are unable to afford anything. How are we supposed to come up with the money if we physically do not have it? (We already work long hours so have no capacity to take on a second job and we are still paying solicitor bills from the divorce) The whole situation concerns me as we will most definitely be looking to lower payments if we have a baby due to me being the main bread winner and being on mat leave when the time comes- although I am saving towards this. I just cant deal with the constant battles and the lack of compromise. Its always us out of pocket. Its all a bit of a mess and I am not sure where to turn so any similar experiences or advice is appreciated. I am at a complete loss.

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We've agreed to remove for the OP - we do push back when possible but as this is causing RL distress, we have no option but to take it down.