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AIBU?

Colleague taking heaps of leave...

72 replies

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 20:53

I have a colleague at work who I work closely with, however she is taking loads of leave and it leaves me having to cover.

Her mum has been diagnosed with cancer, however it has been caught early. But my colleague took a whole week off the last month because she started chemo, I just did not see the need for her to take the whole week. I had to cover and do overtime, my own DD was admitted to hospital for 3 nights in the same week due to her uncontrollable epilepsy. But I didn't have the opportunity to take any leave because I had to cover. My DD ended up having to sit in hospital all day by herself (her dad's dead), and only see me at lunch or after work. Whereas my colleague's mum has her dad to do all the running round, her husband is also unemployed so is around.

Anyway since then my colleague has taken numerous days, had long lunches for appointments etc even though her mum's got her dad and I am getting lumbered with all her work! She has got the first two days of next week off and I am getting fed up.

Now I really don't begrudge her taking some time off, but I feel as if she started to take the mick now, from what I understand her mum just needs a few rounds of chemo / radiotherapy.

To top things off said colleague had a massive go at me last week because I had to take a long lunch as my DD had a massive seizure at lunch time and I had to take her to the GP. (my DD flats near where I work, but none of her flatmates were around).

OP posts:

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AlphaBravo · 21/10/2018 20:55

You could've taken the time off too OP. Stop being a martyr. All you had to do was tell your boss and then it's down to them. Yabu.

AlphaBravo · 21/10/2018 20:57

Oh and if your DD is an adult... yab even more u.

SpottingTheZebras · 21/10/2018 20:58

I don’t think your colleague is unreasonable to take the time off (presumably it has been authorised by a manager?) although she was unreasonable to have a go at you about your lunch break.

I’m sorry your DD has been unwell but if you need to take the time off for her, then your employer will just need to accept this and sort something out. It’s not your responsibility to worry about that.

As an aside, how long have you worked together? If your DD is frequently unwell, or had many medical appointments, who has covered?

EggysMom · 21/10/2018 20:58

As above - you are just as entitled to take emergency leave, and it's your boss's problem - not yours.

greendale17 · 21/10/2018 21:01

To top things off said colleague had a massive go at me last week because I had to take a long lunch as my DD had a massive seizure at lunch time and I had to take her to the GP.

^How dare she say anything to you. I would be making a complaint about this ASAP.

LizzieBennettDarcy · 21/10/2018 21:03

Tell your boss that you whilst you have every sympathy for your colleague, you are feeling that you are struggling to keep up with this amount of cover.

It's really their place to deal with it, and if they're happy about it, then I don't really know how much you can do with it to be honest.

Can you say No to covering or is it part of your job description?

ForalltheSaints · 21/10/2018 21:04

The colleague's unreasonableness is in having a go at you.

ILovePierceBrosnan · 21/10/2018 21:04

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to want the same level of compassionate leave for looking after a family member.

Your boss needs to arbitrate. Tbh I’m amazed at you both being given it. I’m glad you do but employers don’t have to.

Glumglowworm · 21/10/2018 21:04

YABU except for that she shouldn’t have had a go at you

your problem is with your employer not your colleague. You should be able to take leave too, and if you both want the same time then your employer should make sure it’s allocated fairly

MaisyPops · 21/10/2018 21:05

I dont think your colleague is wrong to apply for appropriate leave.
I do think it's wrong if their workload is being dished out to other people whilst they flit in and out of the workplace to suit.

The issue with lots of short bursts of absence is that it's harder for work to cover it appropriately whereas if she just said I need 3 months leave or temporary reduction in hours then work could adequately cover it.

Colleague was out of order to have a go at you.

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/10/2018 21:07

Who is approving her leave and long lunch breaks for appointments? It’s their job to make sure there are enough people in to complete the work. If you’re struggling to cover you need to take it up with them.

As your DD is an adult, you and your colleague are in the same boat as neither of the people you’re caring for is a child.

If you need time off, speak to your boss. If your colleague’s time off is causing issues getting work completed, speak to your boss.

Honestly, the bad feeling between you isn’t helping either of you when you’re already dealing with external stuff that’s causing you stress.

PurpleDaisies · 21/10/2018 21:11

Two separate issue here-
She wasn’t unreasonable for taking leave.
She was unreasonable for having a go at you.

Where’s your boss in all this?

Hope your daughter is better.

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 21:11

I have not taken much leave at all because generally DD has flatmates / friends or her boyfriend at her flat that can assist, stay at the flat. However none of them were there when DD had a seizure and understandable that DD rang up distressed, I was hardly going to leave her on her own.

Yes the leave has been authorised, but she is now taking unpaid leave because she has ran out. I spoke to the manager and said I am struggling, however he has literally been in the job 6 weeks himself so he is not totally sure what all duties we cover etc. And he said as she's ran out of leave, she should be here full time from now on

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 21/10/2018 21:12

Yes the leave has been authorised, but she is now taking unpaid leave because she has ran out.

Surely that tells you she thinks it’s very important to be off?

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 21:12

Oh some of the leave was authorised when we had no manager..

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 21:15

If you're annoyed with anyone it should be your manager and yourself for being a martyr.

PurpleDaisies · 21/10/2018 21:16

And he said as she's ran out of leave, she should be here full time from now on

I’m not sure he should be discussing her leave with you. If she has asked for time off unpaid, that’s totally discretionary and not your decision.

Weezol · 21/10/2018 21:17

Stop covering. Work your contracted hours, complete your work and go home.

This is your manager's problem and it won't be resolved until you stop filling the gaps left by your colleague.

SnowyMountains · 21/10/2018 21:21

Well surely it is my issue when I am being lumbered with some of her work? And there's no cover? (and she told me she was unpaid leave).

Tbh I probably wouldn't be as hacked off if she didn't have a go at me last week. I have been reasonable, however when I have to take an extra hour off, it's unfair

We do have had a previous history of not getting along.

OP posts:

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 21:24

I think your history is massively clouding your judgement. Why she is off is not your concern and it’s between her and her manager.

Eryngium · 21/10/2018 21:26

Wow.

My mum's cancer was caught early too. She was still dead within a year. And she went through hell in that year, needing every bit of support available.

You're being so self centred and unreasonable I'm amazed you sat and typed this out and still thought you were in the right at the end of it.

No doubt your nasty attitude has been very apparent to your colleague. Pack it in.

SheSparkles · 21/10/2018 21:26

Stop covering her work. You do the amount of work you can do in your contracted hours amd anything else doesn’t get done. Not. Your. Problem.
You have a manger whose job it is to manage. Let him.

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RaeCJ82 · 21/10/2018 21:28

She's prioritising her mum over work. Good for her! YABU. Take the time off if you need it and say no to extra work if you can't handle it.

Maelstrop · 21/10/2018 21:30

I don’t think it’s any of your business how much time she has off. If you’re overloaded with work, tell your manager and state-in a professional manner-why you are overloaded. Ask for some bits to be allocated elsewhere if possible.

Sinead100 · 21/10/2018 21:31

You sound like quite a spiteful person OP.

RE: the colleague taking a week off when her mother started chemo- you do know that lots of people get VERY sick in the days after chemo? Maybe she was trying to be there for when her mum was going through that?

Why is your need to support a family member any greater than your colleague's? If you need time off, tell your manager. They get paid more than you do to make those decisions.
Also, I've just seen your last post where you say you and your colleague don't have a very good relationship. As per PP, its clouding your judgement. YABVVVVU.

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