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AIBU?

To have wondered how to answer my Niece?!

217 replies

forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:25

She's 7.

We were talking about Christmas and one of the things I said was to remember her Mummy works hard to get her all these presents. She was quick to protect that Santa brought them. I said he does indeed, but Mummy pays for the elves to make the presents and then she pays for the delivery.

She said "Why does she do that? Can't she get them herself from town? And that way I can choose what wrapping paper I actually want? "

Kids, eh?!

SIL now a bit peeved that I've said Santa doesn't pay and give presents from magical kindness. Oops.

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forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:26

Forgot to add, she was very raised eyebrow and miffed about why her Mum doesn't just cut out the middle man lol

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C0untDucku1a · 20/10/2018 22:28

Yes ywbu.

Howhot · 20/10/2018 22:28

Hmm sorry op but I don't think I'd have commented at all. Everyone I know seems to tell their kids different things and I wouldn't want to interfere. I would have just smiled and nodded throughout.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 20/10/2018 22:29

Rule 1. Never discuss the big man with other people’s children!

PositivelyPERF · 20/10/2018 22:30

Why would you say such a thing, to your niece. You sound so smug about it too.

forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:30

Ahh, perhaps I was being very unreasonable then 🌝

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BrokenWing · 20/10/2018 22:31

Much safer not to have santa conversations at all at this age when they are not your child. You don't want to contradict anything her mum says and they start guessing.

I would be a bit Hmm about anyone saying to ds that I paid santa for his presents when that wasn't the Xmas story I was telling him.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/10/2018 22:31

Ywbu to try to dictate how someone else's family does Santa.

Birdsgottafly · 20/10/2018 22:31

I think at around the age of six, Families should discuss whether the Santa thing is going to be continued and how to deal with it.

Children spoken about on here seem to believe in Santa a lot longer than the children that I know in RL. I don't know or haven't known a child to believe past six.

I think seven-year-olds should start to feel gratitude, they are bad enough at eight, without them not realising what Adults contribute.

forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:31

I honestly thought it was the done thing to tell children Santa delivers but mummy and daddy pay? I didn't do it to be smug!

I was always told the same... Mummy paid, Santa just delivers and gets the toys made at the North Pole

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TwitterQueen1 · 20/10/2018 22:33

It was absolutely none of your business to comment or interfere here. If I were your SIL I would be furious with you.

Ellisandra · 20/10/2018 22:34

“Kids, eh?”

No, “you, eh?”
Why on EARTH would you say that to a 7yo?!
A 7yo is well within the age range of possibly still believing, and every family has different versions of “the magic”. Way to screw that up! What on earth possessed you to think you should start mouthing off?

As it happens, I tell mine that I pay Santa - to explain the difference in what children get. But of the other parents I’ve ever discussed it with (20, maybe?) NO-ONE else says it.

I’d be really pissed off with you blathering stuff to my child stuff that doesn’t fit with the Xmas version I’ve built up!

forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:34

Children spoken about on here seem to believe in Santa a lot longer than the children that I know in RL. I don't know or haven't known a child to believe past six.

I think seven-year-olds should start to feel gratitude, they are bad enough at eight, without them

I stopped believing at 7 after a Year 6 girl kept telling people proud as punch that our parents were liars about Santa  I was devastated.

Funnily enough, I heard her repeat the same story on a number of occasions when I went to the loo. In fact, she seemed to hang around the loos quite frequently

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Move2WY · 20/10/2018 22:34

Why would you spoil the magic for your neice. Are you one of these weird people who hate the santa lie. Its a lovely shortlived magical few years! I’d be so pissed if you were my sil. Why are you so pleased with yourself too. Do you think trying to teach a 7 year old her parent works hard is somehow something you should be praised for even when it ruins Father Christmas?

Cherries101 · 20/10/2018 22:34

My neice believes in Santa too at 6. I’d never dream of shitting all over her innocence like you did. You owe your SIL a huge apology.

Move2WY · 20/10/2018 22:35

Kids can be taught the value of money and hard work and gratitude 365 days a year. Not just at Christmas.

forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:36

My apologies, she isn't 7. She's 8 (almost, her birthday is in the week)

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gamerwidow · 20/10/2018 22:37

Christmas at that age is a mine field because it’s when kids start to get suspicious. It’s difficult because everyone has their own version of events. You were well intentioned by asking your neice to think about being grateful for her gifts but you probably should have just referred her back to her parents.

forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:38

My neice believes in Santa too at 6. I’d never dream of shitting all over her innocence like you did. You owe your SIL a huge apology

She isn't 6. And can I ask why what I said is shitting all over her innocence?

I didn't say Santa didn't exist or whatever else. Do people who tell their children the same story of Santa delivery but mummy paying shit on their innocence too then? How bizarre

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EleanorLavish · 20/10/2018 22:39

I know quite a few-wait for it-10 year olds that still believed.
I wouldn’t be best pleased with you, OP. But probably would let it go.

TwitterQueen1 · 20/10/2018 22:40

5,6,7,8,9 ... whatever. It's irrelevant. Do you go around telling everyone else's children what to believe?

And what on earth does this mean? Have you been at the vodka or something?

Funnily enough, I heard her repeat the same story on a number of occasions when I went to the loo. In fact, she seemed to hang around the loos quite frequently

Cherries101 · 20/10/2018 22:41

You have no right to say anything though. Telling a kid the truth about Santa is their parents job.

Also it’s the same as the death / ‘heaven’ conversation and about where babies come from. You might as well go to a Sunday school and tell them heaven isn’t real. If that’s not reasonable to you then why is telling a child that Santa isn’t real? You sound really messed up.

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forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:41

Twitter you've made me sound rather deranged there! Haha. No, refer back to what I was talking about. I was referring to the girl who told me Santa wasn't real

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BrokenWing · 20/10/2018 22:42

Ds(14) and most of his friends were still on the edge of believing when they were 8, by the following year they all knew, six is very young to find out ime.

If other people's kids ask you always deny all knowledge. The presents just arrive, and although that's a very interesting question, you've no idea how or why because you've never actually asked before.

If the question is how does santa fit down the chimney, say you don't know and ask them how they think he does it. Etc

forwhatyouare · 20/10/2018 22:42

Also it’s the same as the death / ‘heaven’ conversation and about where babies come from. You might as well go to a Sunday school and tell them heaven isn’t real. If that’s not reasonable to you then why is telling a child that Santa isn’t real? You sound really messed up.

I sound messed up? Hmm...

And when did I say Santa wasn't real?! 🤔

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