Is EBF always worth it?

[Storm4star]

Not a TAAT, but I have just read yet another thread from a woman at her wits end of tiredness due to EBF. I have been here a few months now and it seems to be a common theme. I am honestly not trying to be goady or controversial. I know breast is best for baby but at the expense of everything else?? It’s great that more women are encouraged to breastfeed but have we gone too far the other way? Is it really worth sacrificing mums mental and physical health, her relationship, the amount of time she can spend with her other DCs just to breastfeed? AIBU to think fine yes let’s encourage breast feeding but to also encourage mums to do what’s best for the whole family, and to not feel a failure if they decide to switch to formula?

[GreenLantern53]

no one is forced to bf. I ebf all 4 of my children.
i havent found it hard at all. if you dont want to bf then dont! its the norm to ff and i doubt anyone cares IRL.

[londonrach]

Can only talk from my sisters experience and mine. No not at all. My ds regrets breast feeding and didnt bond until she stopped aged one so missed the baby stage and after 6 years has just returned to being the sister i knew. I didnt bf and went straight onto formule and loved and enjoyed every second of dd babyhood. However ever mum is different. Some love bf. Mums choice! What works best for each mum and baby

[Storm4star]

My kids are adults, both FF for what it’s worth! So it’s not a situation I will find myself in! But I do think there seems to be a big push for BF now which is making mums feel a failure if they can’t or they start but can’t carry on.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I EBF both my babies and it was particularly challenging with the second one (who I’m still BF’ing).

It’s been very, very, very hard work at times and it does involve sacrifices but for some people it’s really important they breast feed ergo those sacrifices are worth it.

[Shazafied]

I’m 3 months pregnant and have a 10mo dd and was adamant I’d breastfeed all my children .... but I found it so challenging and exhausting with dd I don’t think I can cope with EBF whilst having a newborn and a 16mo.

I need to give it a lot more thought but my feeling at this stage is to express for a few weeks then move to formula, for the sake of my sanity, dd1 and dc2....and so that DH can help. but following with interest as haven’t decided yet!

[StylishMummy]

I absolutely love breast feeding, both my DC have been EBF, but my DH has pitched in with giving bottles of EBM to help me with sleep. My DC have never had stomach bugs, always avoid contagious nasties that go around nursery and have no allergies. This may be coincidence but I'm happy knowing I gave them the best possible nutrition

[Move2WY]

I also found bf really easy. Jts exhausting having a new baby. Its not bf that make women reach the end of their tether. You need to just stop thinking that formula fed parents are somehow magically happy and full of ebergy. All new mums find it tough. It isnt about ebf.

[Shazafied]

And I won’t feel bad about it if I move to formula fairly early on. I’ll be doing what I need to do ! It’s just the expense that puts me off tbh.

[Move2WY]

@stylishmummy my ebf kids got stomach bugs regularly. My brother eff kid never has had one now 4 years later. Probably not related to bf, you’re just fortunate.

[GreenLantern53]

As i said Ive bf all 4 of mine and have been a lone parent the majority of them time (was from before birth with the youngest) all feed till atleast 2, 2 after a emcs. sick of bf being made to be some awful thing that mums force themselves to do. I enjoy bf. all my friends have ff, its not a magic potion, theyve had babies that havent slept etc. if you dont want to bf then dont, its simple.

[Shazafied]

I think the health benefits of EBF are massively overrated in western countries . But ff can be faffy.

But the hours and hours of suckling ... I don’t think I want to do it again.

[SD1978]

81% of women start with EBF. This rate drops to 21% in England by six weeks, and even less in the rest of the UK. So women are not, and do not persevere with it, but give up very quickly in comparison to other countries. So yes, it needs to be encouraged because our rates of EBF are extremely low in comparison to other countries.

[Pompom42]

I think so yes, I BF twice and to me it was all totally worth it. Had I of had a 3rd child I would have done the same thing all over again.

[Darkbendis]

EBFed my two DC, it was much easier the second time, more challenging the first time. I was struggling during the first few weeks if I remember right, but things got gradually better and better, my family supported me and I am glad I persevered. To me, it was worth it. Both kids have been very healthy so far, of course, can't say if this is because of breastfeeding or we are just fortunate.

[missymayhemsmum]

Yes. it's the norm to find a new baby exhausting and bf takes a while to settle down and become easy. formula feeding mums can also be exhausted, overtired and get pnd. New bf mums need lots of support and don't always get it. It's not bf that's the problem, it's the lack of support

[Storm4star]

Obviously I can only go by my experience so my comment that follows is based on only that. But I had 2 DCs 18 months apart and never struggled with the tiredness I see people talk about here. However, I was young (and had boundless energy!) and both mine slept well so clearly they were huge factors.

I think it’s fine to say it’s simple as “do or don’t” but I have one breastfeeding friend at the moment and she complains about many things which I personally think could be improved by implementing a few formula feeds, even if she doesn’t want to switch totally. But she seems to have got it into her head that she must carry on for a year or else she’s failing as a mum. I feel bad for her and I don’t know what else to say to her other than trying to reassure she that she wouldn’t be a failure. But I feel like this pressure is coming from somewhere.

[hamburgers]

Maybe I'm lucky but I found breastfeeding easy and very natural. If I didn't EBF and missed a feed, I'd leak all over the place! Not every woman finds EBF exhausting.

[GreenLantern53]

but your speaking about a few peoples negative experiences, Most people dont come on here boasting about how easy they find bf as its seen as showing off, I found bf easy and natural. hence feeding 4.

[Storm4star]

But my post isn’t about people who find it easy. My post is about people who find it very hard but won’t consider any other options and whether that is because of outside pressures/expectations.

[Shazafied]

I get it storm4star and I do see where you are coming from x

[Thehop]

I’m fb my 2 year old. A lot. Average wake ups are 1.5-2 hourly during the night and she feeds plenty during the day. I’m bloody exhausted and have suffered so much pain it’s unteal but the WHO advice is what I’ll follow.

[Thehop]

Sorry that’s bf

[cadburyegg]

The bf rates in this country are some of the lowest in the world so anything that helps that is a good thing but unfortunately the nhs seem to be happy pushing the breast is best message but not providing support for bf mums when they need it. So mums are left to either seek support privately or not at all and feel guilty.

FWIW I’ve breastfed both of my children and my second is 7.5 months and has never had formula. I had problems with my first due to tongue tie so I knew what to do and what to expect this time so after the first few difficult weeks were over, we cracked it and yes, it’s worth it for me.

[crispysausagerolls]

I EBF and it’s the best feeling in the world / it’s incredibly easy and I love the feeling of seeing my little baby from me. Just feels so natural.

[SittingAround1]

I introduced a night time bottle fairly early just to get more than two hours sleep in a row.
But then I'm kind to myself in general.
It's the 'exclusive' bit that adds the pressure when it's not really necessary.