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To not buy ds1 a games console for Christmas

(334 Posts)
caitlinohara Sat 20-Oct-18 12:50:06

Ds1 will be nearly 12 at christmas but we are still holding out on this. My reason being - I do not want to live in a family where the kids are glued to computer games and I do not trust them to limit themselves to a sensible amount of game time (learned from experience of having a Wii). Ds1 thinks I am BU and has just gone and slammed a door about it. Apparently EVERYONE else in the world has Fortnite. It has got to the point now where he is saying he can't have friends round because there is 'nothing to do that they will like'. To clarify: we have a drum kit, a pool table and a garden to play in so I don't buy this at all, I think he is being spoilt. He has a tablet and a mobile phone but they have screen limits on them. I know he is never going to stop asking. AIBU.

TaggieRR Sat 20-Oct-18 12:52:32

Your choice obviously however as far as I’m aware all of my ds’s Friends have some sort of console ps/Xbox and they do all play fortnite

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Sat 20-Oct-18 12:53:49

Do you not remember being a child yourself? There has always been "must haves" for children, in this day and age it's games consoles. If you want to limit time on it you set it up in your main TV room and tell him when he can and can't go on it.

Personally I think YABU because times change.

GreenLantern53 Sat 20-Oct-18 12:54:29

yep unreasonable. my 6 year old is getting one, I know everyone is different but i do think at 12 to not have one games console it abit sad.

GreenLantern53 Sat 20-Oct-18 12:54:46


TaggieRR Sat 20-Oct-18 12:55:33

To clarify I think on balance YABU

MatildaTheCat Sat 20-Oct-18 12:56:22

He’s going to feel left out and resentful if you refuse. He could probably save up and buy one soon if he wanted to- would you allow that?

Kokeshi123 Sat 20-Oct-18 12:57:08

Your house, your rules.

RedSkyLastNight Sat 20-Oct-18 12:57:12

If all his friends have consoles, then a lot of socialising will be done via them. So by denying to buy him one, he's missing out on both the actual gaming, the social side, and the talking about it at school.

If you don't want him glued to it all the time and already impose screen limits, I can't see a problem? Plus, if he doesn't have a console he'll just end up glued to his phone or tablet (if he's of that mentality) which I struggle to see is any better?

Aprilislonggone Sat 20-Oct-18 12:58:29

You risk jeopardising his friendships imo.

Mummaluelae Sat 20-Oct-18 12:59:22

Growing up when me and my bro wanted a console for xmas and we didnt get one, we was dissapoinyed, next year xmas we got one, been t an older model. We was pleased but not too impressed.
My D's has a Wii and is allowed to play on our Xbox when we are.
Times are changing. Think if evrryone had something you didn't (especially when younger)

Weebitawks Sat 20-Oct-18 13:01:19

We got Ds 7 a console last Christmas for some of the reasons you list...all his friends had them and actually when they came here they were shocked we didn’t have one.

Basically DS never plays on it and now when he has friends they just want to play on it and DS is bored

caitlinohara Sat 20-Oct-18 13:01:42

We do have a Wii (an ancient one), genuinely though I do not think any of my kids would do anything else if we had a games console. When the Wii is on they argue, get whingy and it honestly seems to cause more trouble than it is worth.

lifecouldbeadream Sat 20-Oct-18 13:02:45

I get where you are coming from, but part of childhood is fitting in. My DS doesn’t have a new style console and it has caused some fitting in issues for him. He would spend all day playing if he could, but that’s up to us to restrict. So he will be getting a console this year so he has more in common to talk about with his friends.

WereWolfcub Sat 20-Oct-18 13:03:35

I’m buying my ds one for his birthday (12th) for the reasons redsky outlines. I hate them but he is being excluded from conversations and from out of school socialisation because it’s all his friends do. Strict limits will be imposed though

MotheringShites Sat 20-Oct-18 13:04:32

At 12 I do think pretty much everyone will have a console of some description and PP are right that a lot of after school socialising is done via them.

Perhaps your DS is a bit embarrassed.

FluffyMcCloud Sat 20-Oct-18 13:05:54

My mum thought TV was awful and we weren’t going to be one of those families glued to the telly. I wasn’t allowed to watch TV. All my friends did and much of the conversations revolved around TV programmes. No one came to my house after school coz we couldn’t watch TV. I still now find myself left out of those “nostalgia” conversations cos I didn’t watch Grange Hill or Cities of Gold.
I think YABU. Being able to be a part of a friendship group and current trends is huge. I’m still a bit grumpy at my mum and I’m over 40 😂

Exochorda Sat 20-Oct-18 13:08:22

I do not think any of my kids would do anything else if we had a games console.
That's why it's up to you to set limits. You are the parent and you are allowed to ration the use of a console.

caitlinohara Sat 20-Oct-18 13:09:05

There is clearly a consensus that I am BU. I do get that it depends on your child. I know kids who have them who do actually seem able to switch them off. I just know that mine won't. My middle son is 9 and I actually think he would be fine because he has a lot of other interests, but ds1 is obsessive (as am I), he honestly would forget to eat if he had unrestricted screen time and having something else to police just feels like it would cause more arguments. He is very immature in other ways too.

HoraceWimpIsThisYourLife Sat 20-Oct-18 13:11:47

I know how you feel about a console, I feel the same and have held back.
We do have a laptop that ds can play fortnite on though as he was feeling really left out. Would that be an option?

ifiwasabutterfly Sat 20-Oct-18 13:11:50

In all honesty I am confused as to how you expect him and his friends to play with a drum kit? A pool table yes and footie in the garden maybe (do you have goals?)

He is probably correct in that all his friends are likely to have consoles.

seventhgonickname Sat 20-Oct-18 13:11:59

Is it just boys getting games consoles?

caitlinohara Sat 20-Oct-18 13:12:01

Fluffy I don't mind them watching telly. I think there is lots to be learned from telly, even stuff like Strictly which we watch as a family and they like Jamie Johnson etc. Don't kids talk about telly any more?? I think that's possibly depressed me even more.

Chelseajunior Sat 20-Oct-18 13:13:42

Definitely BU I'm afraid

ifiwasabutterfly Sat 20-Oct-18 13:14:48

From my experience they talk about Netflix yes

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