To find this comment unnecessary

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Took my DD 14 months to a free music class trial on Monday, the class is aimed at 1-2 years old, so young toddlers. My LO loves music and is very active so I thought I’d give it a go. In the class all the kids pretty much sat and banged instruments while the teacher sang at them. My DD didn’t really do this and instead walked round the room clapping and trying to grab the bubbles in the air (there were bubbles) but with a huge smile on her face. Anyway at the end of the class I kind of confirmed it’s not really for her. The franchise just called me to follow up and I explained that it was a good class but probably not for us, to which she said “yes I have a note from the teacher, your little one was nice but very busy”
Well I actually didn’t ask for feedback on my child, and as for “busy” she’s a bloody toddler who is excitable. I feel it’s this kind of judgement that makes mothers worry about attending groups whether we have a grumpy, crying or “busy” baby. Wish I had told her to stuff her class.

[Cheeseplantandpickle]

I wouldn't like that either.

[Confusedbeetle]

Don't take it to heart. She probably meant your little one wasn't especially engaged in the music

[PoliticalBiscuit]

Ha, that's exactly what I say when I'm trying to be nice about my own busy child.

[TheCakeCrusader]

I’m not sure that the feedback from the franchise sounded particularly negative or inaccurate? You’ve also mentioned that your daughter wasn’t engaging in the class either at the time which is understandable sometimes at that age. Possibly you’re overthinking this comment, but stating that you wished you told her to ‘stuff her class’ isn’t particularly nice either.

[comeasyouare1]

I would also tell her to stuff her class 

[GertrudeTheGuineapig]

Yanbu.

I had similar when I politely complained about the facilities at our swim classes. I got ‘feedback’ on our performance in class . Fucking weird.

[formerbabe]

Yanbu...of course that's what toddlers are like.

[memaymamo]

I can understand why you didn't like the comment because you already felt a bit self-conscious that she was the only one not sitting still. Objectively speaking there wasn't anything wrong with the note though. You were the first to say the class wasn't a good fit, the person gave further information that backed up your feelings. Your toddler was nice (true) and very busy (true). It's not like it said "badly behaved" or "naughty".

The note is probably useful for their records so that if the child keeps coming, the teacher knows to be aware of having a more active child there who might need different kinds of engagement.

Sounds like you have an excellent and curious child!

[Whitecurrants]

I think you're being a bit sensitive. The teacher said pretty much the same as you and presumably didn't say that she didn't want your DD in the class, otherwise the franchisee wouldn't have bothered following up.

[SpottingTheZebras]

So your child didn’t like the class and the person running it noticed this and that was confirmed to you?! I agree you are overthinking this.

[formerbabe]

You’ve also mentioned that your daughter wasn’t engaging in the class either at the time which is understandable sometimes at that age

The op said there were bubbles and her dd was trying to catch the bubbles...I think that counts as being engaged in the class.

[DianaPrincessOfThemyscira]

You acknowledge the class probably isn’t for your child, it just sounds like an agreement to me?

[formerbabe]

So your child didn’t like the class

The op didn't say that.

She said her dd was clapping, smiling and trying to catch bubbles. That sounds like she was enjoying herself to me.

[DragonGoby]

I would be slightly offended too. Not a massive deal though.

[GertrudeTheGuineapig]

The op didn’t say she was mortally offended though. She just said the comment was unnecessary. Which I think it was. Not a big deal, but unnecessary.

[SpottingTheZebras]

@formerbabe the op said Anyway at the end of the class I kind of confirmed it’s not really for her surely it would have been for her if she was enjoying it?

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

The first point was I already turned down signing up and I never asked for thoughts on my daughter so the note itself wasn’t necessary.
Second she didn’t say “active” or “lively” she said “busy”- that is a dig! My daughter was moving to the music she wasn’t busy doing something random.

[SpottingTheZebras]

OP, I don’t think it matters what anyone thinks. You’ve decided how you feel about it and aren’t coming across as if you are going to change your mind, so why ask if you are being unreasonable?

[TheCakeCrusader]

@poster formerbabe As the session was a music class trial, I meant that the OP’s daughter wasn’t engaged with this side of the class which the OP also acknowledged in the post. Nothing wrong with chasing bubbles though! 🙂

[wonderandwander]

Its is the inclusion of the “but” that is the problem. A 14 month old being busy is nothing negative whatsoever.

I doubt the teacher meant anything negative. She would have seen this multiple times before.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

SpottingTheZebras she enjoyed being in a hall with music, it wasn’t really for her in a sense that she didn’t want to play with the instruments and so isn’t worth me paying

[tiggerkid]

“yes I have a note from the teacher, your little one was nice but very busy” whatever that means in relation to a toddler anyway!

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

And I’m not utterly offended/ in tears over it - I just think people who work with toddlers wouldn’t say such a comment

[SpottingTheZebras]

And not wanting to pay for it is fine. The comment wouldn’t even have registered with me as something to take offence over but it has obviously annoyed you, and your interpretation of it is equally valid.

[BumsexAtTheBingo]

Well it wasn’t necessary for them to say anything but they didn’t say anything you didn’t agree with yourself so I don’t see the problem.