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AIBU?

To avoid women who do not like women

276 replies

abacucat · 18/10/2018 10:54

If another women thinks women in general are bitchy, gossipy and much prefer men as she thinks they are more straightforward, then no I am not going to want to talk to you or spend time with you. If you show contempt for women in general, why would I want to talk to you?

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ItchySeveredFoot · 18/10/2018 10:55

I agree. They always say it in such a boasting way as if they're special for not getting along with half the population!

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RandomObject · 18/10/2018 10:56

I put them in the same box as 'I say what I think and if you don't like it that's your problem' people.

You aren't special, you're just an arse.

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FullMetalRabbit · 18/10/2018 10:57

There's also the women who flirt around all the men and ignore the women in the room - unless they want something from you of course!

Can you tell I know someone like this? Grin

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LaurieFairyCake · 18/10/2018 10:58

Yeah, whenever I get clients like this I point out I'm a woman and wonder if that means they'll have difficulty working with me.

People have all sorts of crazy shit going round in their heads.

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Devilainelle · 18/10/2018 11:01

Its a vanity thing. It's just a way of saying 'other women are jealous of me because I'm so beautiful.'

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MintRolls · 18/10/2018 11:04

It always looks like internalised misogyny to me. Separating themselves from what society deems as lesser.

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OpinionCat · 18/10/2018 11:06

I never had a lot of ‘girlfriends’ in school, usually got on better with the boys because I found boys to be a lot more upfront and honest (girls will smile to your face then you hear later that they have talked behind your back) and boys also don’t take most things as seriously which was a relief to someone who suffers with anxiety. It sounds selfish but I spend 90% of my life worrying and dealing with my own problems, so I honestly don’t have the mental capacity to listen to someone elses general day-to-day complaining, and you don’t get that with men so much as with women.

I find (a lot) of women hard to get on with, I have tried to have more girl friends but I find they can be very backstabbing and gossipy, so I do tend to steer clear, such as I’ve got close to girls at work only to have them turn on me to get ahead etc.

I have a couple girlfriends in my life but I keep a very tight circle. I have no problem having chit-chat but in general I don’t get too close, I’ve been burned too much before!

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tiggerkid · 18/10/2018 11:07

It's usually an issue when a woman didn't have good experiences with women. Possibly starting with own mother. Left traumatised by whatever poor experiences she did have.

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RangeRider · 18/10/2018 11:08

Its a vanity thing. It's just a way of saying 'other women are jealous of me because I'm so beautiful.'
Totally disagree. I'm definitely not beautiful (maybe by Shrek's standards) but I find men easier. It's less complicated. They're more likely to say what they think & not dress it up in a way where you have to guess what they mean. And some women can be very bitchy, not all by any means, but enough.

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KarmaStar · 18/10/2018 11:12

It can also stem from being bullied by huge bunches of girls at school and not forming any close friendships with them.If the bullying carries on through college years(or university)this can isolate a female and lead her to fear mixing with groups of women in case it happens again.
So don't judge people too quickly op.

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NightAndShiningArmour · 18/10/2018 11:14

I’m not sure I know any women who boast of this opinion. I do know plenty who have more male friends than female though. And hey, they’re not wrong are they? Or perhaps they just avoid “high maintenance” people.

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abacucat · 18/10/2018 11:15

I am always amazed at those who say men don't gossip or back stab - they really do. The biggest gossip in my extended family is a man, you can't tell him anything.

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OpinionCat · 18/10/2018 11:15

KarmaStar

i agree with this, thinking about it, there was a lot of girls in my primary school who were all friends, but whenever it came to lessons we had to pair up for (mainly P.E) i was ALWAYS the odd one out, no one ever wanted to pair up with me (so usually ended up with the teacher or whatever boy was left out)

Not directly bullying but its definitely a prominent memory from my first years of school.

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abacucat · 18/10/2018 11:16

Anyway my point is if you don't like women, that comes across. And decent women like me will avoid you. I am not self hating, so why would I want to spend time with someone who thinks little of women?

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OpinionCat · 18/10/2018 11:20

its not 'thinking little of women' - its our own personal hang ups that have resulted in defense mechanisms of not wanting to open up or get close to other women. You shouldn't take offence to that, you should understand that maybe im just happier not having girlfriends??

not everyone aspires to have the same human relationships as you, OP.

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chestylarue52 · 18/10/2018 11:20

It’s the phenomenon (not like other girls), where some women thrive on how nlog they are and particularly if men point out they’re nlog.

Maybe because they’ve got a niche interest in science or computer games, or they know a lot about sport or music. Whereas in reality there’s loads of women who know about those things. I mean, there are literally billions of us. Whenever I hear a woman say she can’t get on with other women I wonder - is that a problem with you, or half the population of the world Hmm

To me having it pointed out that ‘you’re not like other women, you’re funny!’ Is not a compliment. I know lots of funny women.

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Bluebolt · 18/10/2018 11:21

Apart from one good friend it took to my thirties and my male friends starting long term relationships that I began making friends with women and started trusting them. Childhood was shit with acne, wonky teeth and parents who neglected my personal hygiene it was the local boys who protected me from some very abusive girls. I still feel very uncomfortable with large numbers of females.

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zzzzz · 18/10/2018 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Conseulabananahammock · 18/10/2018 11:24

I prefer male company. Have not had many good experience with female friends. I'm not a particularly feminine girl and have always hung around with males since I was younger. Doesnt mean I think I'm.better than other women or that I hate women. I just find I have more in common with men.

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abacucat · 18/10/2018 11:25

Of course it is thinking little of women if you dislike a whole group of people. I understand that it can come from defence mechanisms, but it is still internalised misogyny.

Chesty Yes I had mainly boys as friends at high school because all the girls seemed to be into make up and clothes, I wasn't. But as an adult I have found other women with my same interests - there are plenty of us. My female friends are plumbers, use chainsaws, engineers, electricians, etc. We never talk about make up, shoes or clothes as none of us are interested in those topics. School is a microcosm where most teenagers try to conform to what is expected, and those that don't can be lonely. But the big wide world is very different.

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JacquesHammer · 18/10/2018 11:26

Just to be clear and before I answer, are these women telling you that, or is that your assumption?

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OpalIridescence · 18/10/2018 11:26

Yanbu

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expatinspain · 18/10/2018 11:27

It depends on if they're Samantha Brick or a tomboy 

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tiggerkid · 18/10/2018 11:27

if you don't like women, that comes across.

I am curious: how does it come across if someone doesn't like women?

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Conseulabananahammock · 18/10/2018 11:28

Are you assuming women who prefer male company automatically hate women ?? Some assumption that!

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