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Am I breaking the fashion rules of weddings

(61 Posts)
Rosskidsmum Wed 17-Oct-18 14:03:39

I need help, I don’t know if I’ve massively over thought this now or am I going to be hunted down and killed by the wedding fashion mafia?!
Went shopping for my DF cousins wedding this weekend, as it’s now going to be too warm for the suit I was originally going to wear I have purchased cute checked tan tapered trousers and a cream basic Tshirt to go with paired with tan and cream heels I was happy with my look... then I read that you Cannot wear, cream ivory or white to someone else’s wedding! I would never dream of wearing a cream dress to someone else’s wedding but a tshirt will be ok surely? I’ve been out today and panic purchased a black top and blazer instead, but it really doesn’t look as nice 😞 am I massively over thinking this or are people like to pass comment on my colour choice, I would hate to offend anyone.

WildFlower2018 Wed 17-Oct-18 14:05:07

You can wear a cream top with trousers, I'd say that's fine. As long as you don't look bridal, you'll be fine.

Sexnotgender Wed 17-Oct-18 14:05:14

As long as you don’t turn up in a floor length ivory satin gown you’re pretty much ok.

Your outfit sounds fine.

greendale17 Wed 17-Oct-18 14:05:46

I wouldn’t wear t shirt to a wedding whatever the colour

rebelrosie12 Wed 17-Oct-18 14:07:12

Depends on the wedding but I wouldn't wear a t-shirt either.

Pringlecat Wed 17-Oct-18 14:09:47

The only rules you must strictly adhere to are 1) don't wear anything that looks like the bride's outfit and 2) don't wear anything that could could get mistaken for as the bride's outfit.

After the above, anything else is a matter of taste and personal style.

Thebluedog Wed 17-Oct-18 14:10:08

Sounds fine... I wore cream trousers and a cream waistcoat, black and cream jacket and hat to a friends wedding and no one batted an eyelid

Rosskidsmum Wed 17-Oct-18 14:11:59

It’s not like a cotton tshirt it’s like a satin one, long line, helps had the fat rolls

Rosskidsmum Wed 17-Oct-18 14:12:17


TheLittleThingsLikeVodka Wed 17-Oct-18 15:01:26

I’d say that’s fine, I’d never where a white/ cream dress, but most men wear white shirts to weddings.

Pursefirst Wed 17-Oct-18 15:03:32

How long is long-line exactly OP? If its a type of tunic style and satin as well, I would personally wear something else.

Stonebake Wed 17-Oct-18 15:03:39

I think that sounds fine.

I wouldn’t wear a cream / white dress to a wedding and to be on the safe side I also steer clear of anything with a cream / white base, even if it’s covered in a different coloured pattern.

But trousers and T-shirt are so far removed from “bride territory” I think that’s fine.

Stonebake Wed 17-Oct-18 15:05:07

Missing a full stop there^^. Hopefully you can decipher it.

Stonebake Wed 17-Oct-18 15:05:33

Oh no, I was actually right the first time! Ignore me. I’m very tired today.

Welshmaiden85 Wed 17-Oct-18 15:06:32

Totally fine

JeezYouLoon Wed 17-Oct-18 15:08:33

As long as you don't wear a floor length ivory/cream/white dress whilst holding a bouquet or black with face veil you'll be fine wink

Bodear Wed 17-Oct-18 15:13:54

I wouldn’t op and I wouldn’t have liked it at my wedding but I always get out voted on these threads. As a guest, I’d always err on the side of caution personally.

RatherBeRiding Wed 17-Oct-18 15:21:09

No one will mistake that outfit for the bride's - I wouldn't bat an eyelid to see a wedding guest wearing that.

diddl Wed 17-Oct-18 15:25:04

So you're wearing a cream top & checked trousers?

Yeah, you're going to so much like you're pretending to be the bride, Opgrin

liquidrevolution Wed 17-Oct-18 15:31:09

Can you pop a naice patterned scarf around your shoulders for the ceremony and pics? Will break up the cream somewhat.

Lucked Wed 17-Oct-18 15:31:57

I think it sounds fine. Can you link to it?

DangletitsMcDougal Wed 17-Oct-18 15:41:28

Its fine - its head to toe black white or cream that would be bad form.

kateandme Wed 17-Oct-18 15:42:27

It sounds lovely and perfectly fine keep with that

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

spanishwife Wed 17-Oct-18 15:46:16

Neither of your outfits are wedding appropriate in my opinion.

I personally don't wear anything white or cream to weddings because there are so many other colours to choose from - it's the bride's privilege to wear white on the day, give her that respect.

shearwater Wed 17-Oct-18 15:47:21

Sounds great. Would be great with a cream or tan trilby/fedora hat.

Willow2017 Wed 17-Oct-18 15:49:31

Ttalking about weddings meghan annouced her baby news at eugines wedding
Actually she didnt.
Can we stop all the Meghan bashing now? Its pathetic.

A cream top and beige trousers would upstage the bride? Oh ffs!

RosiePosies Wed 17-Oct-18 15:53:17

Sounds like a lovely outfit, really want to see it!

shearwater Wed 17-Oct-18 15:54:31

Meghan and Harry told the main members of the family quietly, it was not a big upstaging announcement. I imagine people there had started to speculate as people did here and they could hardly lie about it.

StairMonster Wed 17-Oct-18 15:55:05


GoingNuckingFuts Wed 17-Oct-18 15:55:44

as others have said, as long as you dont turn up in a cream white or ivory dress then your good, if youre that worried send a picture of you in the outfit to the bride and ask if she minds you wearing it becuase its a cream top, and the no cream/white/ivory rule. x

bringincrazyback Wed 17-Oct-18 15:58:39

It's not going to look 'bridal' so it's fine IMHO.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Wed 17-Oct-18 16:25:59

You won't look bridal. Far from it, don't worry!


i have messaged you

DanSullivan Wed 17-Oct-18 16:42:28

Sounds good to me. Could you add a jazzy statement necklace to break it up a bit?

Rosskidsmum Wed 17-Oct-18 16:42:49

It’s all from next apart from the shoes, I can’t find the blouse

Rosskidsmum Wed 17-Oct-18 16:43:20

I was thinking that!

Rosskidsmum Wed 17-Oct-18 16:44:39

Statement necklace I like the sound of the fidora too smile

Stonebake Wed 17-Oct-18 16:44:54

Yeah that isn’t bridal. If anything it might be a little bit casual, but that totally depends on the flavour of wedding.

I love trousers to weddings though. So much more comfortable. Next wedding I go to I want to do the full Cara Delevingne top hat and tails! Don’t think I can pull it off though. I’d make it look bonkers sad.

TheDowagerCuntess Wed 17-Oct-18 16:55:28

It's absolutely fine.

If you're a bride who would mind - have you really nothing better to be doing on one of the best days of your life? Nobody, but nobody will think someone in checkered trousers and a cream satin top is upstaging you.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie Wed 17-Oct-18 16:59:06

I genuinely don't understand why it's frowned upon to wear a white dress as a guest. Everyone knows who the bride is! I wouldn't give a shit if a guest wore a white dress to my wedding.

ShalomJackie Wed 17-Oct-18 17:06:13

Sorry but I think it will look like you have come straight from work

Stonebake Wed 17-Oct-18 17:17:22

I don’t get it either nigel, but it’s hust one of those traditions I suppose. Wouldn’t bother me, but it’s equally no skin off my nose NOT to wear white / cream to weddings. So I don’t.

Why should it bother anyone if someone wore something not in keeping with tradition to any place or event? Eg hot pants to the office or to a christening? I mean, why not? No good reason, it just isn’t seen as appropriate.

shearwater Thu 18-Oct-18 05:46:11

"Not wearing cream/white/ivory" isn't a tradition though, not at any wedding I've been at, it's just made up by socially awkward, insecure, petit bourgeois posters on MN, probably the same ones who launder their towels and linen daily.

Loads of people wore cream and ivory dresses at my wedding and looked lovely, I was just looking at the photos the other day. I never heard or bothered about it until MN, and I shall continue to ignore it!

LynetteScavo Thu 18-Oct-18 06:12:10

"*Not wearing cream/white/ivory" isn't a tradition though, not at any wedding I've been at, it's just made up by socially awkward, insecure, petit bourgeois posters on MN, probably the same ones who launder their towels and linen daily.*
This Two people wore cream shift dresses to my wedding 19 years ago. Both were totally appropriate.

Stonebake Thu 18-Oct-18 09:19:01

Nah, I’d heard of no white / cream at weddings a very long time ago. Maybe it depends on the area you live in or your particular friendship group.

Do you also think Halloween is a modern American import and made up holiday by any chance?

Stonebake Thu 18-Oct-18 09:24:42

And, tbh, even if it is made up by petit bourgeois mumsnetters, (lovely classist phrase you chose there btw - they don’t even use that phrase in Paris anymore), I still won’t risk it personally. It’s no skin off my nose to wear a different colour is it? If someone might not like me wearing it on their wedding day, I tend to steer clear. I don’t care how pwetty my dwess is enough to risk annoying someone.

I didn’t care what anyone wore to my wedding btw, including bridesmaids, but I still have the common sense to wear something other than white at someone else’s wedding. It’s a bit self absorbed to insist that I must wear cream because I want to when it isn’t even my wedding.

Stonebake Thu 18-Oct-18 09:30:10

This is (American) Glamour. If you google “can I wear white to a wedding?”, you’ll find a tonne of articles saying pretty much no. It’s not “just on MN”.

shearwater Thu 18-Oct-18 11:25:49

Safe to say it's probably some crap that blew in from the US then.

It would be difficult for me to care less what fashion magazines say. They talk a lot of shit in order to make women feel insecure and sell you stuff.

GertrudeTheGuineapig Thu 18-Oct-18 11:45:20

Ah sorry. Nobody is right but you. I’ll forget I ever had an opinion now. Thank you for correcting me.

Stonebake Thu 18-Oct-18 11:46:56

Ah balls - name change fail! That^^ was me.

As I’ve already said, I heard of this a long time ago. But think what you like. Wear what you like. I’ll do the same.

Stonebake Thu 18-Oct-18 11:57:01

And anyway, I thought it was made up by “petit bourgeois” mumsnetters, now it’s those ghastly Americans hmm.

<whispers> shearwater, your prejudice is showing shock!

I mean, make stuff up all you like to support your position, but you don’t have to be snobby about it. It just weakens your argument.

TheDowagerCuntess Thu 18-Oct-18 13:56:11

There is nothing 'inappropriate' about a cream satin, short-sleeved top, matched with different colour trousers. Nothing.

Stonebake Thu 18-Oct-18 13:59:59

I already said I think this outfit sounds fine, as it’s trousers. But I would always avoid white / cream dresses, even if it’s just a background colour personally. It’s just something I always do and it really isn’t difficult.

Clarich007 Thu 18-Oct-18 14:02:11

Sorry op i think the whole outfit sounds far too casual for a wedding.More like a shopping trip to town

CaledonianQueen Thu 18-Oct-18 14:56:14

I think the outfit sounds fine! I have worn a lemon shift dress to a wedding that looked cream in some lights. It looked nothing like a wedding dress. I have also worn ivory trousers and a dress top to a wedding that looked nothing like a wedding outfit.

I had a guest wear fishnet stockings, thigh high boots and a mini kilt to my wedding (Scottish wedding, guest from England), other than distracting my photographer so that there were no photos of my Father and I in our lovely Daimler limousine, she was subject to abject horror from our older guests and whispering and tutting for her attire. She went to bed in a huff after the speeches. Now that was an inappropriate wedding guest outfit!

Ghanagirl Thu 18-Oct-18 15:02:34

You hijacked a thread to bitch about another woman 🙄
Outfit looks great presuming it’s not a formal wedding.

shearwater Thu 18-Oct-18 15:04:17

I've obviously touched a raw nerve, Stonebake.

I'm not sure that my post was worth five posts plus one from your sockpuppet in response, but each to their own.

Caledonian - it sounds like the photographer was more at fault there than your guest!

DiveBombingSeagull Thu 18-Oct-18 15:09:25

I once wore a white trouser suit to a wedding. With the brides permission. I was 38 weeks pregnant and my options were very limited as I couldn’t fit into anything apart leggings and XHs shirts.

She was wearing a meringue dress (it was the 90s) there was no confusion over who was the bride grin

spanishwife Thu 18-Oct-18 17:21:55

I don't think wearing white is abut 'knowing who the bride is', that's nonsense... it's the brides privilege to wear white and you should be respectful enough to give her that on one day.

The bride wears white (99.9% of the time) and in the run up it's all about the dress, what the bride will wear etc, there's so much pressure on this one dress for this special day... It's her day to be the one in white.

OrigamiZoo Thu 18-Oct-18 18:19:58

I announced my pregnancy at my cousin's wedding blush- well not at the wedding itself, a couple of days before as it was abroad. I couldn't not really as it was a full on drinking and eating fest and vast amounts of seafood at the reception and I had to ask for different food. It was torture actually as I'm a real foodie and I love my wine too.

I think your outfit will be lovely!

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