AIBU to ask DP for rent?(105 Posts)
We’ve been together a year.
I am a homeowner, he is not. We’ve been talking about living together abs exploring options such as renting my place out and renting a bigger place together.
However my house is ample big for the both of us and so it makes more sense for him to move in.
We are now talking about how to work this out financially. Rental for a similar place would be £1000 per month.
WIBU to suggest he pays £500 a month inclusive of all bills? Or is that grabby?
I wonder would he be there if you rented and if you did his name would be on the lease and he would have to pay half, I am thinking he is after a free ride off a caring woman , be wary you could lose everything .
Why dont you just ask him what a fair amount he thinks would be to contribute to household esoensest and go from there.
Don't do the buying in thing just yet, that's just weird at this stage of your relationship. You don't even know if you can live with each other yet.
Don't sell him half, not yet. Let him move in, get a renting agreement in writing, and see how it goes .
A lot can change. You might see a different side to him once living together.
Just a small note - if you do charge him rent as a lodger then depending on where you live, you can receive at least a good portion of that money without it being taxale under the Rent-a-room scheme.
I do the same as spangly princess. We have a cohabitation agreement drawn up by a solicitor that says what’s mine And his before we got together stays that way. This means he has no claim on my house or family business. It is the most reassuring £500 I have ever spent. I also take £100 a week off him for a contribution to bills, not including the food shop.
How much do you like your house? I'd probably go for him becoming your lodger - proper legal agreement drawn up and he has his own room like any other lodger but with added benefits . You put anything left after his share of the bills into a savings account. After a year or two if you are still together think of selling him half the house or buying a place together. If it doesnt work out then he moves on.
Dont forget you'll need to pay tax on your lodger's payments.
AnnieAnoniMouse gives excellent advice. He pays whatever he can to top up and leaves a clear paper trail. Why would you even consider setting up a joint tenancy (where he buys 50%) at this stage?
If you stay together, you can consider a joint tenancy or tenancy in common at some stage in the future. A tenancy in common is where each partner can own differing percentages of the property. With a joint tenancy should one person die, the other joint tenant will automatically receive the other half of the property on death. With joint tenants, the other percentage goes to next of kin unless a will has been written. As you aren’t married, it therefore wouldn’t go to your partner.
You’ve only been together a year. It’s still the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Blending financials where one partner has far more than the other is tricky and should be taken slowly.
How about he pays 50% of all bills and puts 50% of mortgage cost into joint savings thereby allowing you to size up when you need to after kids etc? Allowing him to build up future equity.
After a year you want to give half your house away? You could lose your home. Has he suggested this or said things to encourage this?
Why not speak to him and ask him what he thinks would be a fair deal for both of you?
I didn't charge my other half any rent when he moved in. He wasn't getting his own room so not like I lost any money when he moved in.
He does of course pay half the bills and food.
The agreement was that he saved the £600 per month rent he was paying before towards a deposit for when we bought together. Though 6 years later we are still here. Never thought of him as a cock lodger, just why should he pay towards my investment?
From my experience I’d definitely go for renting a fresh place together.
Not only do you get to protect your assets you both get to decide where you will live and where things go in your new place. Him moving in with you will feel to both of you like he’s staying at your place, fine if you’re not serious and just after a bit of fun but if you are serious and it’s an option it’s best if you start on equal footings. That means a fresh start for both of you, and that’s your romantic part covered.
Practically, If, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work out between you it will be far easier to leave rented accommodation as a clean break. If you work well together and decide you’re right for each other then at some point moving back into your house might be an option.
Me and my partner do this - he owns the house and I pay him monthly. I pay half the utilities, and half the mortgage. It doesn’t bother me that I’m contributing to his mortgage, because I absolutely can’t afford to buy somewhere of my own, and before I moved in I was renting somewhere which was more expensive anyway.
However, I only did it because we had plans for him to sell the house and to buy somewhere together, which we’re now doing. I wouldn’t have done it if we were going to stay in his house for ages as obviously if we split up he’d have been able to just kick me out, even if we’d been together years and years.
My DH owned a home when I met him- we moved into that house together and paid 60/40 on the mortgage and bills (due to him earning more than me).
We moved to another house together, he made a lot of money on the house sale and paid it as deposit on the new house- we took out a mortgage together on the new place and I signed an agreement that the initial deposit amount belonged to him and I took a 50% share of the mortgage.
We’re now married with a child and I can’t pay my 40% anymore but I make a small contribution each month from my wages (PT working)
I think that sounds totally reasonable. £500 a month in rent including bills sounds really cheap. Lucky him!
I think asking him to pay the “going rate” is a bit grabby unless you have a lodger who is paying that and would need to move out as you’re basically making money out of him living with you.
I lived in DPs flat and paid half the mortgage and half the bills; I would have thought differently of him and possibly not moved in with him if he’d expected me to pay half a rental cost leaving him with barely any mortgage to pay
I also think 500 is fair. Presumably he is renting now?
I would take legal advice though because if things go wrong, he could end up with tenants rights/rights to a property that you hadnt foreseen. Good luck!
I would keep the house and call it your pension
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If he’s contributing to the mortgage even unofficially he possibly might have dabs on the house legally. Personally I’d rent it out and buy something together
When I met my DH, I had equity from the house I had owned with my previous husband. We initially rented, after 1 month of meeting, for a year then bought a house together using my equity as a deposit, and I earned, and still do, double what he earns. We are still together 27 years later.
If he has so much money, why doesn't he buy his own place as a buy to let, share the bills at your place and sort it legally that he doesn't pay towards your mortgage? Then in the future when you're sure he's a life partner, sell both properties and buy one together?
OP, you’re very wise to address this now. Ignore the pp telling you it’s not romantic If you were looking for another flat to share, you’d be having a discussion about finances. It’s an adult, mature subject to discuss prior to moving in.
The advice about a legal document is also sound. Your looking to live together, not hand over your assets right now in a silver platter. If things change in the future, of course that can be revisited. You’re putting in safe guards for your finances as you are only about to live together. It’s not that you’re marrying.
I think £500 including bills sounds right. Why? Similar flats in the area are £1,000 a month. So if you rented it out, or you both rented, it would cost him at least £500 a month HOWEVER you are ALSO including gas, electricity, internet in that too. What about council tax? Contents insurance/buildings? Would he be adding expensive items to contents insurance? These types of things would be payable 50% by him if you both rented a flat together elsewhere and his half would therefore be well more than £500. Considering these costs, that half your CURRENT monthly mortgage payment would be £350, together with all the other things that create pure living costs (without addressing food), your boyfriend is getting a deal.
Someone mentioned food. Do talk about this. Should be 50:50 at time of purchase for a weekly shop. I’d also suggest talking about who will do cooking and how splitting chores. I say this as my sisters first marriage broke up over the fact BIL cane from traditional family. DM never worked. She cleaned and tidied, all laundry/ironed everything, did minor DIY and decorated house and full meals every day etc. BIL expected this of my DSIS and for her to work full time too and contribute 50% of her wages. Eventually took its toll on the marriage.
Address expectations in advance. Helps avoid future problems. Best of luck
(I fell asleep while writing this in the night so if I cross posted, sorry 😁)
Medium/long term evening things up through remortgaging moving towards joint ownership sounds
However, for the first year or so, splitting bills sounds the way to go.
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