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AIBU to ask DP for rent?

(105 Posts)
FairOrNot18 Wed 17-Oct-18 02:54:35

We’ve been together a year.

I am a homeowner, he is not. We’ve been talking about living together abs exploring options such as renting my place out and renting a bigger place together.

However my house is ample big for the both of us and so it makes more sense for him to move in.

We are now talking about how to work this out financially. Rental for a similar place would be £1000 per month.

WIBU to suggest he pays £500 a month inclusive of all bills? Or is that grabby?


TooMuchTidying Wed 17-Oct-18 02:57:31

Not grabby, just smart.

Get something in writing as well.

Thisreallyisafarce Wed 17-Oct-18 02:58:31

What's the mortgage monthly?

FairOrNot18 Wed 17-Oct-18 02:58:54

What do you mean by getting something in writing?

FairOrNot18 Wed 17-Oct-18 02:59:12

Mortgage is £700 per month

Antigon Wed 17-Oct-18 03:00:35

Not grabby at all.

You should protect yourself legally so that he can't claim that he helped pay the mortgage and so is entitled to a share of your house.

Is there a mortgage?

Antigon Wed 17-Oct-18 03:01:15

Cross post.

Thisreallyisafarce Wed 17-Oct-18 03:01:49

Does 'all bills' include the food shop?

FairOrNot18 Wed 17-Oct-18 03:02:27

No, not food shop. Council tax, energy, WiFi etc

Thisreallyisafarce Wed 17-Oct-18 03:02:33

But it doesn't matter what you call it. He IS contributing to your mortgage.

FairOrNot18 Wed 17-Oct-18 03:03:08

Utilities in other words

Thisreallyisafarce Wed 17-Oct-18 03:03:11

Are your bills excluding food £300 a month?

TooMuchTidying Wed 17-Oct-18 03:03:22

See a solicitor and document your agreement. He is contributing towards living costs, not paying down your mortgage. You don't want him to be able to make a claim on your property if you split.

Aquamarine1029 Wed 17-Oct-18 03:05:11


I apologise for "screaming" but do you really think otherwise?

He will live there 50/50, and he must pull his weight, unless you want a useless cocklodger to look after.

And you would be crazy not to stay in the property you already own. It is more than adequate. In terms of getting things in writing, this is very important. He will be a tenant, not someone who can try to claim ownership of YOUR property.

FairOrNot18 Wed 17-Oct-18 03:05:57

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic @TooMuchTidying?

Thisreallyisafarce Wed 17-Oct-18 03:07:26

Do you see him as being a lodger? I wouldn't move in with someone who saw me that way. No chance.

FairOrNot18 Wed 17-Oct-18 03:10:03

What would you suggest I do then @Thisreallyisafarce ?

Spanglyprincess1 Wed 17-Oct-18 03:16:59

Me n dp do this , yes it's unromantic but life isnt always romantic really. He has signed a legal document confirming he is not entitled to equity in the property and I am sole owner.
I have to protect myself legally for not only mine but my son's sake

Thisreallyisafarce Wed 17-Oct-18 03:18:49

I'm not suggesting anything as such. Personally, I would only give up my own security of tenancy if I were confident that my partner and I were moving towards a fully equal relationship, in which I contributed to the mortgage and was building up equity. These days I doubt I would move in with someone unless engaged.

Antigon Wed 17-Oct-18 03:19:04

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic @TooMuchTidying?

Are you serious?

lovac Wed 17-Oct-18 03:23:05

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic

A big part of relationships is working out the practicalities of two people sharing their lives. Not everything you do in one has to be "romantic".

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 17-Oct-18 03:24:33

Honestly I think there's normally a reasonable, ethical, fair answer to most questions. But not this one.

If he pays half the mortgage but doesn't get a share of the house, it's good for you but shit for him. And weird because he's paying for your house. And legally dodgy.

If he pays market rate it's great for you but he's a lodger who is funding your house. He never gets a share but isn't funding his own future. Plus it's a bit yummy because he's paying you market rate and you're shagging.

If he only pays food, utilities and so on, it's great for him but he looks like a cock-lodger.

I really think there's no 'right' answer.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 17-Oct-18 03:25:18

Yukky not yummy

MozzieMagnet Wed 17-Oct-18 03:29:04

How much is he paying in his current place?
Do you see this going somewhere long term and if so, would you want him on the deeds? Has he savings, can he afford to pay you half of what's been paid off already?

QueenLaqueefa Wed 17-Oct-18 03:29:31

Today 03:05 FairOrNot18

That’s probably very sensible but is it also horribly unromantic @TooMuchTidying?

This is not about romance, this is about you protectinghmmmm

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