Long post alert ... i worked with who i thought was a friend for 5 years, we were close as worked side by side the whole time, went out after work and celebrated birthdays etc. After i left the company we stayed in touch and would meet up every 6 weeks or so. When she got engaged I was so excited for her, to celebrate i took her out for dinner and wanted to know the ins and outs of plans etc ... They had managed to get there dream venue for 9 months time!!
Im a bridal hair stylist and so said i would do her hair for free, including trials ... I helped with plans as much as possible with plans and ID's and even purchasing little bits she needed etc ... she lives 40 minutes from me - i went and done a hair trial for her, and her 2 bridemaids, while i was there she mentioned she wanted a videographer but couldn't afford it ... i said she should get a video camera and ask somebody to film it for her, or maybe a few people to get clips through out the day which she was excited about.
She gave me an all day invite while i was there and it only had my name on it not DP which i thought "fair enough shes cutting back, they have only given themselves 9 months" (i had just moved in with DP at this stage) and she told me another colleague was going to be there all day so i would know someone (didnt worry me but great)
Anyway time flys and wedding day comes, no mention of my DP being invited for the evening (not a free bar) .. the venue was 90 minutes from me, my DP kindly took me to the venue as he wanted the car for the day and agreed to pick me up ... i was a bit sad that he wasn't going to be there at all but i had a job to do a friend to watch get married so off i went... done the brides hair, 2 bridesmaids, and her mum and quickly got myself ready in the toilet to be apart of the day and when i said "im off, good luck you look amazing" she said "oh before you go" and reached down into a box and pulled out a video camera and said "i got the camera can you video everything for me, iv told the celebrant that youll be down the front with us etc" ... I was in shock a bit, i had been there since 7am to get them ready i really thought my duties were done as a friend BUT of course its her wedding day so i took the camera and done the best job i could do - filming aisle shots, vows, first kiss and went on to film little messages from her friends and family during the cocktail hour so she could watch it back (took my job seriously)
Evening meal comes and i take my seat and sat next to my old colleague who i had hardly seen and she asked "wheres DP" i explained he wasnt invited to which she replied "no way, bride invited my DP and weve only been seeing each other 4 months, the only reason his not here is because his its his brothers stag" .... i had to stop myself from welling up to be honest ... might seem dramatic but i really felt used. Me and DP had been together for just over 18 months at this point and we lived together.
Evening came along with old colleagues that poored in as evening guests along WITH there DP's. When the first dance and cake cutting was announced the bride made a B line for me and said "aw can you make sure you get these and a little bit of people dancing and then that should be it" .... i acted completely normal as i wouldnt have wanted to put a downer on her day and i done as she asked, i even spent 20 minutes after the first dance trying to enjoy myself but i then text DP and asked him to leave when he could ... it was a 90 minute journey so i didnt have to shoot off straight away and spent the rest of my time chatting to old colleagues about life!! who all asked where DP was - it was embarrassing ... I told bride i was off because i was so tiered, and she then said "why dont DP pop in for a bit?" .. this actually made me livid ... but again held my tongue i said "his in scruffy clothes, he didnt know he was going to get asked in, if you said earlier on he would of got ready" ... making the point he wasnt invited, ... she shrugged it off a bit tipsy by then and we said our byes
She text me 2 weeks after the wedding (they went on honeymoon the day after) .. in the text it said how amazing mexico was and she loved her hair and was looking forward to watching the video...
i wrote out a long reply and then deleted it - I then didnt reply and havent spoken to her since!
AIBU?
AIBU?
OH not being invited after all i done and other colleagues OH was
LJFM2B · 11/10/2018 13:50
How horrible OP 
I wonder though - could it have been a mistake? Like what could possibly be her reason for leaving your DP out? It can't have been money since your colleagues DPs were invited. Has she met your DP? Did she get along with him? Did she think because you were "working" at the wedding you wouldn't need your DP there? Hard to fathom why she did that?
I be very curious and tempted to ask her, but I'd probably hold back. Weddings bring out the worst in some people and in another couple of weeks it'll all be history so it's probably not worth the drama. I do feel for you though and you sound lovely
You probably won't do it, but I'd invoice her for all the time you have spent on the hair, preparations, and a full video fee (on hourly rate).
After payment, I'd stop contacting her.
Does she have the recording, or do you?
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