In my early twenties I was friends (ONLY friends) with a guy, and from that his partner too. They had a young daughter who I used to visit regularly, help out with small things as and when. At the time I was earning OK money working in a hotel while studying, with almost no outgoings. So when he asked me to borrow 50€ for a week, I gave him 100€ and said I would ask for it back when I needed it, no worries.
Skip forward two years, I got married to DH. They were invited to the wedding including daughter, had ordered special menu for her, high chair etc sitting on a table with other friends. They bailed last minute. Like the day before. I can't even remember the excuse now as at the time I was too busy and focused on other things (it wasn't illness or an accident anything major like that) so just said ok no worries and didn't really think about it too much more.
About 9 months later, now with a daughter of our own, DH and I found ourselves short before the end of the month, so I messaged friend and asked for the 100€ back within the next two weeks. Explained how it was urgent due to not being able to pay rent. Instead of saying no, or explaining he kept saying yeah yeah and arranging to transfer or meet me and then not following through, so it wasn't until the v last minute that he admitted he didn't have it and I had to sell our telly instead.
It felt so hurtful that he had let me be in trouble, when I had helped him out. Part of me thinks, if he didn't have the money what could he do? At the time I just told him I was disappointed, that he had let me down and ignored him from there on out. Didn't feel majorly upset over it all, just chalked it up to experience and put him on the "not real friends" pile.
Fast forward five years and last night at 1am I got an email from him asking to get in touch, that he wanted to know how we were and left me a phone number. I know through the grape vine that he has had a second child, as have we. We did used to be good friends and have a laugh, so now am wondering what to do...
Part of me thinks I haven't missed his friendship in these years and he did leave me on my arse with the loaned money. And another part of me thinks we have all grown up now, situations are different and it might be nice to get back in touch.
Thoughts?
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Was I too harsh? What to do now...
100 replies
ASundayWellSpent · 11/10/2018 11:23
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