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AIBU?

To ask if anyone actually like 'token gifts'

240 replies

Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 09:29

Inspired by a thread in the Christmas section about family limiting adult gifts to £10.

If you had a choice between receiving say 5 gifts at £10 or 1 at £50 which would you prefer?

I literally can't think of 5 things that cost £10 that I'd buy for myself let alone for other people.

People are always going on about waste, especially at Christmas and I just can't my head around why you'd do this.

I'd rather have nothing that 5 bits of tat I'll probably never use.

Does anyone actually like 'token gifts'?

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Merryoldgoat · 10/10/2018 09:31

Only consumable ones - I’d rather have a bottle of Prosecco or some chocolates/pickles etc than an expensive item I didn’t like.

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FloweringOrchid · 10/10/2018 09:32

Id much rather have the one more expensive gift that is something i genuinly want or need. All my family chipped in to buy me a lovely watch last christmas. It has been worn every day, is practical and good quality. Id much rather that than a load of tat or smelly gift sets.

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Merryoldgoat · 10/10/2018 09:33

I also like makeup and there are nice eyeshadows and lipglosses for that kind of money.

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LaDameAuxLicornes · 10/10/2018 09:36

Wouldn't have occurred to me to think of a £10 gift as a "token" gift, tbh. Just a gift.

That said, I don't think anybody likes receiving tat whether it cost £10 or £50. The £50 tat is probably more embarrassing to receive, though.

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SputnikBear · 10/10/2018 09:37

Depends what the token gift is. You can get nice things for £10. I’d be happy with a small bottle of spirits or wine, a pair of socks, nice chocolates, etc. The problem arises when people spend the £10 on cheap versions of stuff instead of smaller quantities of good stuff.

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Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 09:37

merry the trouble is though, getting someone 1 eyeshadow, even if it's what they want, doesn't look much so the tendency is to go for a bigger but cheaper set.

Likewise the prosecco / chocolates option is seen to be 'thoughtless' even though, I agree, it's a sensible choice that won't go to waste,

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cariadlet · 10/10/2018 09:39

I'd like 5 books more than most things that would cost £50. Actually, you could get 5 books for less than £50 so there would be money left over for some vegan chocolates as well. I'd be very happy with that lot.

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HildaZelda · 10/10/2018 09:40

For around the tenner mark I'd like a bottle of red or prosecco or a small box of 'naice' chocolates.
A friend of mine is from a family of about 10 and at Christmas they all put in about £50 and get a weekend away or an expensive household item for their parents. Last year they got them a new TV. Parents were much happier with that than with 10 token presents.

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DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 10/10/2018 09:41

I quite like getting the smaller gifts. If I realllly want something and I know I'll use it a lot I'll buy it myself (examples things like a decent pair of boots, a musical instrument, a kitchen aid etc) whereas I don't often treat myself to things I'd quite like that are more like £15-20 as that feels more frivolous (more expensive wine, body creams etc). I also am always pleased at a bottle of prosecco or chocolates. I'd rather something I like for a fiver than generic £50 gift.

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JaceLancs · 10/10/2018 09:41

I’m not a fan of token gifts, unless you know me well enough to know what I’d like
Most things under a tenner I just buy for myself
That said I can always make good use of bottle shaped gifts!

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Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 09:43

Actually, you could get 5 books for less than £50 so there would be money left over for some vegan chocolates as well

That's my point though, each person could buy a book for £7 then have £3 left but that wouldn't buy a box of chocolates - if everyone clubbed their £3's together it would.

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ComtesseDeSpair · 10/10/2018 09:45

I’d rather somebody got me nothing at all or just a card rather than a gift which they found difficult to buy and I’m not fussed about receiving. I don’t mean that in an ungrateful or churlish way, I’d just much rather people saved themselves the bother to themselves of trying to find a “token” gift and spent the money on somebody they were closer to or on themselves.

Unless it’s a genuine “token” gift from somebody who genuinely saw it and thought of me.

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bookmum08 · 10/10/2018 09:47

I can think straight away of plenty of £10 (or less) gifts that I would love to have as gifts. There are loads of small Lego sets I want (I am an adult Lego fan), there are loads of books I am waiting to read but can't afford to buy the hardbacks myself plus plenty of paperbacks I would love to read. 3 books for £5 in The Works. I could get 6 books for a tenner. That would be fantastic. There are crafty sets and bits in Hobbycraft I would love. So much of what I enjoy for my hobbies and interests can be bought easily for £10 or less.

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Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 09:48

I don’t mean that in an ungrateful or churlish way, I’d just much rather people saved themselves the bother to themselves of trying to find a “token” gift and spent the money on somebody they were closer to or on themselves.

Exactly my thoughts too.

I just find it really odd asking strangers for ideas for token gifts - if you can't think of something specific for the person it's probably better not to bother.

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KatieMarieJ · 10/10/2018 09:49

Some of my most treasured possessions are "token gifts" such as the mirrored letters for my kids' rooms when they were born, or the hand crafted votive holder from a good friend. That said stuff like bath sets, chocolates etc - meh.

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KC225 · 10/10/2018 09:51

A ten pounds gift is easy to do if you KNOW the person. Off the top of my head, I would like - Any exotic turban or wool headband in Zara, tortoiseshell earrings in Zara, a good book - love biographies past and present, love modern fiction, cook books etc. A calligraphy set from Tiger. A wash bag/cosmetics bag as I have to travel.

It's the generic - grab a bottle - I dont drink wine, rarely drink. Chocolate, I love but not plain or alcohol filled. I'd be fine with a candle or nice foods.

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JurassicGirl · 10/10/2018 09:52

I like token gifts such as shower gel, bubble bath, wine etc - what's not to like!!

Saying that no one in my family has very expensive taste as such, if it's cruelty free we're happy!

There's not often a '£50' item I would want so more than happy with £10 (or less) spent on a book/dvd & a bottle of shower gel or bar of vegan chocolate etc.

None of us give 'tat' presents. I gave my db a Harry Potter mug along with a gift voucher last year which was the closest I've come to 'tat' as it was £1 in Primark but he was suitably amused & uses it daily :) voucher was used for yet another book - win win!

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bastardlyandmutley · 10/10/2018 09:53

There are plenty of things I would like & appreciate that cost only a few pounds. Candles, socks, chocolates, a decent hand cream, nice woolly scarf, really nice mug, patterned jute bag. All things that I wouldn't ordinarily buy myself. I'm not fussed by the cost of things and get a bit confused about people getting bent out of shape over how much gifts cost. It really is the thought. That said I don't understand all the Christmas tat that lines the shop shelves- gift sets and all that toot, yuk!

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AjasLipstick · 10/10/2018 09:55

I have this issue going to MILs for Christmas. MIL takes it to extremes by buying novelty Christmas cushions for Uncle Bob who's a 50 year old, stylish as hell designer. I am buying a crate of wine from a local winery...if you get it in bulk, it's cheaper and it's good wine.

Then I'm giving these bottles out to those people who I'd usually give a token gift to.

That or really nice chocolate.

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HomeMadeMadness · 10/10/2018 09:56

I can't think of any item I'd want for £50 (apart from restaurant vouchers etc). I'm happy with small gifts unless they're clutter. I love consumable - something nice from a deli. posh olive oil etc.

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Bearbehind · 10/10/2018 10:02

TBH the £50 gift options isn't really the point, it's more the buying a small gift for the sake of it when it isn't tailored to the persons wants or likes.

I really would rather receive nothing and keep my £10 reciprocal money for something for me. Something you probably wouldn't give as a gift like facial wipes.

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MereDintofPandiculation · 10/10/2018 10:03

Yes, I like token gifts "I cared enough about you to buy you something". Gentlemen's relish, jars of jam, pickles, chocolates, plants, nice soaps, candles. And if someone tries to find something I'd like but gets it wrong (with the best will in the world it happens), I don't feel so sad about it as if they'd spent a lot of money and got it wrong.

And I like opening 5 gifts instead of one.

Expensive things I'd prefer to choose myself so I get the right one.

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Camomila · 10/10/2018 10:05

I prefer token gifts...if someone spends 50£ on you and you hate it you’d feel guilty about not using it. If someone spends 10£ you can say ‘oh well’ and regift it or give it too the charity shop or just use it...ie I wouldn’t mind using ugly tea towels but if someone bought me an expensive coat and I hated it I wouldn’t want to wear it but I’d feel equally bad getting a new one.
Plus I’m like a child and enjoy unwrapping surprises 😀

I think the opposite for DC though, as they might get pocket money or occasional little treats but they can’t buy their own big things.

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AynRandTheObjectivist · 10/10/2018 10:05

Plenty of makeup pieces, DVDs and earring sets for £10 that I'd like to have.

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TheNavigator · 10/10/2018 10:05

I am unusual on Mumsnet in that I actually love getting nice body cream, as long as it is cruelty free, so £10 would get me a lovely (leaping bunny certified) body cream from M&S or the like that would be used & make me happy. No one needs to spend £50 on me - if I wanted something that much, I'd get it myself.

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