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DD wants to remove leg hair

(70 Posts)
TellerTuesday4EVA Sun 30-Sep-18 10:51:24

I could really use some advice / experiences on this please.

A big part of me knows this is ridiculous but there's another part that wants DD to make her own choices.

Dd has just turned 6. She has and always has had very hairy legs & a hairy lower back. I presumed it was baby down & would go away in time but it hasn't & it's gone darker as she's gotten older. I'll attach some pics below. I have PCOS (personally never suffered with the hair problem) so I'm pretty sure it's linked to hormones.

In the summer she became aware of it & that the other girls at school didn't have the same. She asked me if there was a way to get rid of the hair, we talked about it & everyone's bodies being different & that coupled with the sun lightening the hair pacified her for a while.

Since she's gone back to school she's mentioned it again quite a few times. I have to point out here that nobody else has mentioned it, classmates etc, it's DD herself that has the issue she isn't being picked on or anything because of it. Now the weathers getting colder she's into tights & trousers for uniform so that's pacified her again.

However.... she's now getting upset about swimming & not wanting to go because she says when her legs get wet it looks worse. The hairs quite long so when it gets wet & lays flat she is right in what she's saying.

There's no way I would use hair removal cream on her skin & certainly wouldn't let her attempt anything herself but part of me thinks if she's adamant she wants it removing I should help her to do so.

AIBU? No bitchy comments please, I do realise she's very young but just want to do my best to help her.

Fluffyears Sun 30-Sep-18 12:17:43

Be careful of the silkymits. I used to use them with no issues but the last couple of times I have had an awful reaction. I follow the instructions to the letter as well. My skin must have changed. Maybe do a patch test.

Perfectly1mperfect Sun 30-Sep-18 12:22:41

I would let her remove it as it's upsetting her so much.

It might be worth a trip to the GP just to make sure everything is okay, just because you mention that you think it could be hormone related.

MrMeSeeks Sun 30-Sep-18 12:23:10

Test the cream, ive tried several and never had a problem.
I found those mitts did absolutely nothing

Hellywelly10 Sun 30-Sep-18 12:24:05

Go for it. By the looks of it she has pale skin and dark hairs. If she has always been hairy then it should not be a sign of early pubity, its just her.

MyDcAreMarvel Sun 30-Sep-18 12:26:30

The sensitive creams should be ok, buy some good quality pure alovera to apply afterwards.

Branleuse Sun 30-Sep-18 12:26:53

shes very little, but if its bothering her, there are easy, quick, safe and painfree ways to remove it.

Id get a ladyshave, because they dont have the risk of cutting herself because its not super close to the skin. She probably wouldnt even need to do it that often.

I must admit i dont like the idea of children feeling under pressure to look a certain way and depilate, but we live in the world we live in and we all have to negotiate this stuff. I was a child whos mum didnt want me to shave, and it was embarrassing at school and stopped me doing all sorts of things and I was teased relentlessly. It would have been so easy to just bloody shave it.
As an adult I have more agency to decide whether to shave or not. As a child, I think its about surviving school with your self esteem intact, and not sticking out too much.

bumbling Sun 30-Sep-18 12:30:06

I went through this with my Dr who is 11 and tried a few removal creams which were expensive and the results didn't last long. I was also worried about using chemicals on her. I just shaved her legs for her in the end. It is so much easier. I don't think any other kids had mentioned her leg hair but she was very self conscious.

Branleuse Sun 30-Sep-18 12:31:39

I get chemical burns from hair removal cream.
Silkymits - sandpapering it off. Sounds more gentle than it actually is.
Waxing - give the girl a break, shes 6. She doesnt need to painfully pluck them out by the roots, plus for me I get painful ingrown hairs every single time.

Shaving is the gentlest on the skin, and a ladyshave is gentlest of all. They wont get smooth smooth, but they wont look hairy

Ostagazuzulum Sun 30-Sep-18 14:34:27

I had exactly the same issue with my daughter earlier in the year (roughly same age as your daughter) I posted on mumsnet as I felt like her confidence and self esteem were more important that society's norm for children worrying about appearance. I had overwhelming support from mumsnet that told me I was thinking along the right track. We tried feet sensitive cream the first time. She didn't like it as she was bored sitting still for 5 minutes waiting for cream to work but loved the effects. After that I bought her a mini lady shaver so she could do her legs herself safely. As it stands I normally do it for her. She isn't that bothered any more, I think she just likes the reassurance that she can get rid of it when she wants. The electric shaver isn't the closest cut (I'd never be able to use it) but it's small enough for her hands and is safe to use. She's much happier since we got it. The one I bought was a Magnitone. Hope this helps

Witchend Sun 30-Sep-18 14:56:35

I would let her. Dd wanted to at that age. She's now decided at mid teens it's too much hassle.

Otoh my parents didn't let me so I borrowed df's razor and sliced a chunk out of my leg. I still have the scar.

Racecardriver Sun 30-Sep-18 15:00:20

Have you taken her yo a doctor if you are Co Cerne about her hormonal balance? I am normally opposed to encouraging children to conform for the sake of it but if she is so young and this is already causing issues I would say just remove it to avoid it becoming aassove problem.

Aridane Sun 30-Sep-18 15:07:53

I would have a low key appointment first with GP to check for hormone I’m alance or precocious puberty - then help her shave with a lady shave if that’s what she really wants.

Branleuse Sun 30-Sep-18 15:11:42

if there are no other signs of puberty, i doubt its hormonal. Some people are just hairier than others. We are just mammals and it doesnt mean anything is wrong. I think going to the doctors about a bit of leg hair might be overkill,

Minta85 Sun 30-Sep-18 15:15:41

OP it would be worth asking your GP for an endocrinologist referral. Your daughter should be tested for conditions such as Classical Aand Non-classical Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia.

FissionChips Sun 30-Sep-18 15:19:37

Some people are just hairy, it’s not unusual and is not really something to go to the doctor about unless there are other concerns.

TellerTuesday4EVA Sun 30-Sep-18 21:13:42

Wow, thank you all so much for your replies. I was well prepared to get flamed but overwhelm how supportive you've all been.

We've talked about it at length tonight & decided that we'll try a mitt first & see what the outcome is. Tbh she's a totally light weight on the pain threshold so if there's any amount of vigorous rubbing required I can see it being a non starter.

Second option we'll try a lady shave, thank you especially to you @Ostagazuzulum I'll have a look for the one you mentioned & reassuring to know you were in a similar situation.

I honestly don't think it's anything sinister but I have a drs appointment for myself next week & it's after school so she'll be with me so I'll mention it just ask to be on the safe side.

FissionChips Sun 30-Sep-18 21:24:24

Mitts are harsh on the skin, it will rub a layer off.

Candlelights2345 Sun 30-Sep-18 21:47:24

I don’t think mitts will do anything on hair like that. I think shaving is the best option (I’m very dark haired and hairy).
Good luck, and I totally agree with removing hair. I’ve been plucking my daughters eyebrows in the middle since she was age 6 as she was being laughed at for having a ‘monobrow’.

AnoukSpirit Sun 30-Sep-18 21:59:30

It's good that you're trying to support her if it's causing her anxiety.

I'm just struck by how not-hairy she is to be so anxious if none of her peers have said anything. It's not unusual and I can't say I would ever have given it a second glance. I've had brownies with hairier legs than that and never thought anything of it - other than to be glad they were confident and none of my other girls had ever commented or teased another about their body hair.

If it's not anyone at school hassling her, where has she got the idea from that she's overly hairy and that's wrong/ugly/whatever? Is it literally just because she sees your hairless legs and then looks at hers and thinks there's something wrong?

I only ask this because if you know the reason, it will help with reassurance if she knows different girls/women make different choices, and she doesn't have to make the same one. We're the ones who give each other these body worries, we can also reduce them.

She's so very young to be starting on an unnecessary lifetime of hair removal when she doesn't have to, but I appreciate you're trying to give her a sense of control.

It makes me sad, all the same, that she feels like this and we would rather induct her into the hair removal ideal instead of building confidence in the body she has. It's not like we'd allow other body modifications on an uncomfortable 6 year old.

Anyway, good luck with it.

CaveDivingbelle Sun 30-Sep-18 22:40:01

Does anyone actually have any body confidence building stories then? There's always the argument about learning to be happy with who you are, but no one ever comes along to add their experience of being hairy, not doing anything and being proud....
I had thick black hair covering everything from waist down, on chalk white skin. It stood out a mile and kids used to say it was like fur. It shattered any confidence I had and by the time I was let shave, the damage was done.I never lived it down and still remember it. I know we should accept who we are but I'd save my daughter from what I went through.

3in4years Sun 30-Sep-18 22:48:20

This is so sad. If a six year old boy said the same would so many encourage him to be hair free?
My dc2 is just as hairy, as am I. We don't care what other people say. She is genuinely stunning.
Surely if you start hair removal at 6 you will instill low self esteem about looks?

TantricTwist Sun 30-Sep-18 22:55:19

She'll be shaving her legs soon enough so if she wants to do it now I don't see any issue with her doing so at all regardless of her age.

My DD is 11 and has very fine and fair hairy legs, she is aware of it and I'm just waiting for her to insist on shaving. So far she has listened to my advice to leave it for as long as she can because once you start shaving you can't stop.

unicorncow Mon 01-Oct-18 00:46:49

Please be careful if you use the mitt! I thought it was the answer to my prayers when I was a teen and didn't realise that if you press even a bit too hard you end up taking skin off too!

PurpleArmy Mon 01-Oct-18 00:55:55

Some great support here, I would go with the 'its grooming' angle, after all we cut our hair and men shave their faces, its a personal choice.

Enjoli Mon 01-Oct-18 00:58:32

Doctor first.

Then don't remove it, just trim and bleach it.

Buy a hair trimmer - choose the attachment that will cut the hair to about 5 mm. Then use Jolen or own-brand bleach to gently remove the colour. She'll be left with soft, vellus-looking hair like most of the other girls will have.

Then when she's old enough that she might start shaving anyway, you can consider laser.

I was quite hairy, it's awful at her age.

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