DD wants to remove leg hair(70 Posts)
I could really use some advice / experiences on this please.
A big part of me knows this is ridiculous but there's another part that wants DD to make her own choices.
Dd has just turned 6. She has and always has had very hairy legs & a hairy lower back. I presumed it was baby down & would go away in time but it hasn't & it's gone darker as she's gotten older. I'll attach some pics below. I have PCOS (personally never suffered with the hair problem) so I'm pretty sure it's linked to hormones.
In the summer she became aware of it & that the other girls at school didn't have the same. She asked me if there was a way to get rid of the hair, we talked about it & everyone's bodies being different & that coupled with the sun lightening the hair pacified her for a while.
Since she's gone back to school she's mentioned it again quite a few times. I have to point out here that nobody else has mentioned it, classmates etc, it's DD herself that has the issue she isn't being picked on or anything because of it. Now the weathers getting colder she's into tights & trousers for uniform so that's pacified her again.
However.... she's now getting upset about swimming & not wanting to go because she says when her legs get wet it looks worse. The hairs quite long so when it gets wet & lays flat she is right in what she's saying.
There's no way I would use hair removal cream on her skin & certainly wouldn't let her attempt anything herself but part of me thinks if she's adamant she wants it removing I should help her to do so.
AIBU? No bitchy comments please, I do realise she's very young but just want to do my best to help her.
She is very young but It is obviously bothering her, I was the hairy kid at school so know how she feels. What about trying a sensitive hair removing cream? My daughter has been using it for years and she is 15 now. She doesn’t get the itchy legs that come from shaving and the hair grows back softer than shaving too.
For whatever reason your DD is self conscious about this. It must be so hard when she is so young but I would be tempted to let her and help her remove it. Probably with an electric razor.
It is her body and we aren't talking about permanent changes to her body. I was always self conscious of my body hair as a child and my mums refusal to let me get rid of it had me missing lunches at school so I could pay for a razor!
I'm interested to see what everyone else thinks though as I could be way off the mark.
Sorry just re read your post and see you don’t want to use hair removing cream so ignore me 😊
What about one of those sandpaper type rubbing things?
Do you still get these mittens/pads that buff the hair away? Can’t remember the name, sorry but they were sold in boots&superdrug and popular with the very young.
I wonder if it would be worth a trip to the doctors to see if there is anything that can be done. I had similar as a young child, very hairy legs from age 5 ish and I went through puberty early from the age of 8. I was never taken to the doctor about this but it was not easy for me to cope with at that age.
One of my daughters is similarly hairy but it didnt bother her until quite recently, she is now 9 and we have recently started doing some hair removal but i dont think i would have been so happy to do it at age 6 without ruling out other problems. Luckily for my girls they do not seem to be heading for early puberty like I did.
Aww I have sympathy for her. I was and still am a hairy one. I had leg hair like that as a child. I think I managed to get by until about aged 9 until other kids started laughing at me at school. I think at that point I started shaving 'Just to the knee' but that made my hairy thighs even more obvious. I was shaving my whole legs in primary school. My mother used to help me shave my armpits and trim lady garden. Not sure what the answer is, I just wanted to give my support in whatever you decide as being hairy is a lifetime ballache in my experience. IPL might be a good option for her in the future. Worked a treat on my tummy hair.
Another vote for take her to the doctors. Most girls her age don't have hairy legs and you have PCOS, so worth checking out if there's anything going on medically that you need to keep an eye on.
Generally though, I would help her remove the hair. It's really embarrassing being the first hairy girl, and just because her peers haven't noticed yet, doesn't mean they won't. She's not comfortable with the hair on her legs, and given most women choose to remove theirs, she's not expressing a controversial opinion that is likely to change when she gets older.
If when she's a teen she decides to hell with it, she'd rather be hairy all over, the hair will grow back. It's not an irreversible decision or something she'll grow out of.
Did you post about DD's leg hair before OP? I remember there was a post about a young DD's leg hair before, not sure if it was you or not.
Anyway, I feel for your DD, and I honestly don't blame her for feeling the way she does. I think if you don't want to shave or use hair removal cream, maybe try at home wax strips.
Mine was the same at that age. We talked through her reasons. I remember my own friend being teased at primary school for the same reasons and the impact that had on her self esteem up until end of secondary.
In the end, I got my dd some sensitive hair removal cream and that did the job. We did it maybe 2 or 3 times over a year - whenever she asked. She now a pre teen and wears skirts all the time to school. She hasn't asked about removing her hair again since she was 9. Nobody seems to have mentioned it to her recently.
In summary, I'd let her do it if it was bothering her so much. But talk to her first about her own reasons for it. It should be to change her own feeling about her self, not to appease other people. I hardly ever shave my own legs and DD sees how comfortable I am with this which is probably why she has begun to care less.
I'd let her remove it. It's horrible feeling self conscious about something and not being able to change it.
@allyouneedis have you had any problems with the sensitive cream? The only reason I said I wouldn't use it was because I used it myself once & honestly the burn was unreal, maybe mine wasn't a sensitive one though? I'm just wary of putting anything on her skin think if I do it I would prefer to shave or rub it off.
@ViserionTheDragon no my first post, well on this subject anyway
Thanks for the mitt suggestions, I didn't even know they made those & sound ideal will do a google search for one
Boots do a mitt for a couple of quid here. It works well on regrowth so I think would be okay on previously unshaved hair.
I was a very hairy child (well still am quite) and I desperately wanted how shaven but my Mum wouldn’t let me. I did it myself when I was 13 and away without my parents with a cheap Bic razor! I think helping her is better than refusing and then her doing it herself. When she’s a bit older she could try using a battery powered lady shaver? She would get stubbly regrowth though.
I was the hairy kid & was forbidden from using any kind of hair removal. It did have a big impact on my self esteem and I’ve sworn that as soon as DD wants to remove hers, we’ll find a way.
I’ve used sensitive hair removal cream on my bikini line in the past, there is a big difference between it and the non-sensitive type in terms of how it feels when it’s on, and reaction afterwards.
I would not use any cream, I'm horrendously allergic to it. I'm very hairy but blonde. I started waxing quite early (my mum knew a beauty therapist well) hot wax it definitely helped, one friend did it and her hair never grew back better than all these harsh chemicals are shaving.
My DD, then 10 was deeply self conscious about her arm and leg hair, and like your daughter, it was particularly evident when swimming. I took her to have it waxed off. As she was older she was able to understand the process and that it was going to hurt a bit, although she does have a very high pain threshold. I'm not suggesting you take a 6 year old for waxing, but I wanted to point out that the hair never grew back as dark or as much, so you may well find that if you remove it once, the regrowth is much less obvious. Some children are hairy babies (my DD certainly was, she had a hairy back also) and have a tendency to hang on to the hairiness through childhood!
I was hairy as a child and it was horrendous, I got badly bullied for it. I’ve told both my girls that if they want to remove hair I will help them. Eldest is 10 and has never asked, but I would find a waxing salon for her if she asked. Hopefully that would help with the regrowth being lighter
I had a thread on here about my DD, 8. I bought her a Ladyshave and she gets on fine with it. Uses it once a week or so. She was getting funny about swimming and gymnastics and is much happier with it removed.
My mum started letting me do mine I was so hairy around nine with something called a silky mitt not sure if they still exist
I maybe worst parent of the year but I'd let my daughter do hers with that at that age if she was bothered (at your daughter age)
My sons are very hairy and I've let them shave from when they first asked to do there tashes and that was about eight nine
I would also let her do it. Dds friend came over in the holidays, she has just gone into yr6. I know that’s a lot older than your dd and I noticed had shaved her legs all the way up - she was wearing shorts. Idk how long she has been doing this. But I had never noticed her leg hair before so I assume it to have been a fair while and this was just a bit of regrowth.
Idk if hairier legs are a sign of precocious puberty. My dds legs (10) have been hairy for at least 2/3 years now.
Ideally you would wax your dds legs if they’re that hairy - they don’t look it from the photo. But at 6 she’s so little.
If she is upset about it please do something about it. I was the same at that age (no PCOS or early puberty- just bad luck) but my mum would not let me do anything about it. When I got a little older, other children started to notice so I spent Summers at school wearing tights under my summer dress! Finally got an electric razor which was very gentle on my skin. I just wish I didn't't have all the years of misery before.
I think you’re a great mum supporting her with this
Waxing/epilating would be great for the hairiness itself but she’s very young for that considering the pain factor.
An electric razor might be worth investigating although the maintenance is a consideration but much easier if mainly for swimming during the winter and cream would be longer lasting.
It’s pros and cons with all the options. Does your dd have a preference?
I’ve no idea if it exsists but a very gentle bleach may be worth considering. I bleach my arm hair after removing it for years but disliking the regrowth. The actual abundance of hair doesn’t bother me as much as the darkness of it but bleaching can be quite harsh and uncomfortable.
My Daughter has never had any problems with it, maybe try leaving it for different lengths of time. Your DD might not need the full 3 minutes. Also the mit things sound like a good alternative.
Be careful of the silkymits. I used to use them with no issues but the last couple of times I have had an awful reaction. I follow the instructions to the letter as well. My skin must have changed. Maybe do a patch test.
I would let her remove it as it's upsetting her so much.
It might be worth a trip to the GP just to make sure everything is okay, just because you mention that you think it could be hormone related.
Test the cream, ive tried several and never had a problem.
I found those mitts did absolutely nothing
Go for it. By the looks of it she has pale skin and dark hairs. If she has always been hairy then it should not be a sign of early pubity, its just her.
The sensitive creams should be ok, buy some good quality pure alovera to apply afterwards.
shes very little, but if its bothering her, there are easy, quick, safe and painfree ways to remove it.
Id get a ladyshave, because they dont have the risk of cutting herself because its not super close to the skin. She probably wouldnt even need to do it that often.
I must admit i dont like the idea of children feeling under pressure to look a certain way and depilate, but we live in the world we live in and we all have to negotiate this stuff. I was a child whos mum didnt want me to shave, and it was embarrassing at school and stopped me doing all sorts of things and I was teased relentlessly. It would have been so easy to just bloody shave it.
As an adult I have more agency to decide whether to shave or not. As a child, I think its about surviving school with your self esteem intact, and not sticking out too much.
I went through this with my Dr who is 11 and tried a few removal creams which were expensive and the results didn't last long. I was also worried about using chemicals on her. I just shaved her legs for her in the end. It is so much easier. I don't think any other kids had mentioned her leg hair but she was very self conscious.
I get chemical burns from hair removal cream.
Silkymits - sandpapering it off. Sounds more gentle than it actually is.
Waxing - give the girl a break, shes 6. She doesnt need to painfully pluck them out by the roots, plus for me I get painful ingrown hairs every single time.
Shaving is the gentlest on the skin, and a ladyshave is gentlest of all. They wont get smooth smooth, but they wont look hairy
I had exactly the same issue with my daughter earlier in the year (roughly same age as your daughter) I posted on mumsnet as I felt like her confidence and self esteem were more important that society's norm for children worrying about appearance. I had overwhelming support from mumsnet that told me I was thinking along the right track. We tried feet sensitive cream the first time. She didn't like it as she was bored sitting still for 5 minutes waiting for cream to work but loved the effects. After that I bought her a mini lady shaver so she could do her legs herself safely. As it stands I normally do it for her. She isn't that bothered any more, I think she just likes the reassurance that she can get rid of it when she wants. The electric shaver isn't the closest cut (I'd never be able to use it) but it's small enough for her hands and is safe to use. She's much happier since we got it. The one I bought was a Magnitone. Hope this helps
I would let her. Dd wanted to at that age. She's now decided at mid teens it's too much hassle.
Otoh my parents didn't let me so I borrowed df's razor and sliced a chunk out of my leg. I still have the scar.
Have you taken her yo a doctor if you are Co Cerne about her hormonal balance? I am normally opposed to encouraging children to conform for the sake of it but if she is so young and this is already causing issues I would say just remove it to avoid it becoming aassove problem.
I would have a low key appointment first with GP to check for hormone I’m alance or precocious puberty - then help her shave with a lady shave if that’s what she really wants.
if there are no other signs of puberty, i doubt its hormonal. Some people are just hairier than others. We are just mammals and it doesnt mean anything is wrong. I think going to the doctors about a bit of leg hair might be overkill,
OP it would be worth asking your GP for an endocrinologist referral. Your daughter should be tested for conditions such as Classical Aand Non-classical Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia.
Some people are just hairy, it’s not unusual and is not really something to go to the doctor about unless there are other concerns.
Wow, thank you all so much for your replies. I was well prepared to get flamed but overwhelm how supportive you've all been.
We've talked about it at length tonight & decided that we'll try a mitt first & see what the outcome is. Tbh she's a totally light weight on the pain threshold so if there's any amount of vigorous rubbing required I can see it being a non starter.
Second option we'll try a lady shave, thank you especially to you @Ostagazuzulum I'll have a look for the one you mentioned & reassuring to know you were in a similar situation.
I honestly don't think it's anything sinister but I have a drs appointment for myself next week & it's after school so she'll be with me so I'll mention it just ask to be on the safe side.
Mitts are harsh on the skin, it will rub a layer off.
I don’t think mitts will do anything on hair like that. I think shaving is the best option (I’m very dark haired and hairy).
Good luck, and I totally agree with removing hair. I’ve been plucking my daughters eyebrows in the middle since she was age 6 as she was being laughed at for having a ‘monobrow’.
It's good that you're trying to support her if it's causing her anxiety.
I'm just struck by how not-hairy she is to be so anxious if none of her peers have said anything. It's not unusual and I can't say I would ever have given it a second glance. I've had brownies with hairier legs than that and never thought anything of it - other than to be glad they were confident and none of my other girls had ever commented or teased another about their body hair.
If it's not anyone at school hassling her, where has she got the idea from that she's overly hairy and that's wrong/ugly/whatever? Is it literally just because she sees your hairless legs and then looks at hers and thinks there's something wrong?
I only ask this because if you know the reason, it will help with reassurance if she knows different girls/women make different choices, and she doesn't have to make the same one. We're the ones who give each other these body worries, we can also reduce them.
She's so very young to be starting on an unnecessary lifetime of hair removal when she doesn't have to, but I appreciate you're trying to give her a sense of control.
It makes me sad, all the same, that she feels like this and we would rather induct her into the hair removal ideal instead of building confidence in the body she has. It's not like we'd allow other body modifications on an uncomfortable 6 year old.
Anyway, good luck with it.
Does anyone actually have any body confidence building stories then? There's always the argument about learning to be happy with who you are, but no one ever comes along to add their experience of being hairy, not doing anything and being proud....
I had thick black hair covering everything from waist down, on chalk white skin. It stood out a mile and kids used to say it was like fur. It shattered any confidence I had and by the time I was let shave, the damage was done.I never lived it down and still remember it. I know we should accept who we are but I'd save my daughter from what I went through.
This is so sad. If a six year old boy said the same would so many encourage him to be hair free?
My dc2 is just as hairy, as am I. We don't care what other people say. She is genuinely stunning.
Surely if you start hair removal at 6 you will instill low self esteem about looks?
She'll be shaving her legs soon enough so if she wants to do it now I don't see any issue with her doing so at all regardless of her age.
My DD is 11 and has very fine and fair hairy legs, she is aware of it and I'm just waiting for her to insist on shaving. So far she has listened to my advice to leave it for as long as she can because once you start shaving you can't stop.
Please be careful if you use the mitt! I thought it was the answer to my prayers when I was a teen and didn't realise that if you press even a bit too hard you end up taking skin off too!
Some great support here, I would go with the 'its grooming' angle, after all we cut our hair and men shave their faces, its a personal choice.
Then don't remove it, just trim and bleach it.
Buy a hair trimmer - choose the attachment that will cut the hair to about 5 mm. Then use Jolen or own-brand bleach to gently remove the colour. She'll be left with soft, vellus-looking hair like most of the other girls will have.
Then when she's old enough that she might start shaving anyway, you can consider laser.
I was quite hairy, it's awful at her age.
i used a Boots Smooth Care facial hair removing cream for sensitive skin last year Did a patch test on the Sunday and it was fine. Did proper treatment on the Monday and followed instructions but ended up with a chemical burn on my chin.
Be careful with creams.
I had a miserable time in high school because of thick leg hair. DM wouldnt let me shave it because in Italy when she grew up it just wasnt done, i started getting it waxed off when i was 18 but stopped 3 years ago as i couldnt afford to get it done anymore.
i know how peer pressure feels but i also know that misogynistic bullying still goes on in schools over these issues and needs to be taken as seriously as racial bullying is.
Have a look at these:
Very gentle, compact and lightweight. Also one of the best shavers I've ever had.
I had a horrible time in school because of hairy arms and legs. I became more aware of it around year 4 and remember faking illness just so I could miss PE/swimming. It wasn't the boys as much as the girls who pointed out my problem and made me feel like a freak. I was told it's normal by the GP and received no help from anyone at home with regards to removing the hair. I developed anxiety in my teens, terrible acne in late teens and eventually diagnosed with PCOS in early 20s. Yep growing up was pretty shit tbh.
I have now had certain areas lasered and its probably the best way to remove hair but I can't afford to get larger areas (legs) done yet.
People say shaving doesn't make it thicker but mine seemed to get thicker as I got older. I now wax (when I can be bothered) or stay au naturale and live in trousers and pray I'm never involved in a hospital emergency
I remember reading of a topical remedy that traditional Indian women use on their children to remove unwanted body hair, it can be used from a very young age as its natural ingredients like oatmeal and turmeric. I have been searching and searching for it online but can no longer find it
My DD was a hairy child - at 8 I taught her to shave her legs because she was so self-conscious. At about 10 she started bleaching her arms for the same reason. I see nothing wrong with helping a girl to be confident about her appearance - it never did DD any harm to remove / bleach her body hair. I don't thing age matters at all.
Abrasion pads are perfect here. Little mitts with sandpaper type things in them and it buffs away the hait
This thread has appeared in the DM now 😡😡😡😡
@Candlelights2345 really?? Don't they have to ask my permission? Probably not then I guess??
god what a strange topic for a newspaper article
Yes it is 😢 sorry I don’t know how to link it, if you’re not comfortable with this report your own thread and see if MN will delete.
The top comments are supportive btw!
It's also in the Mirror as of 2.30pm. I can't link it as I'm on the app not the website!
I would take her to have them waxed or get wax strips yourself and do them for her. My cousin waxed hers from a young age as she was very hairy from age 7/8 and now her hair body hair is non existent (she is 28).
My sister has taken the same approach with her 6 year old daughter who was intrigued after she accompanied my sister to the beauticians and is also a hairy 6 yr old legs arms and lower back. Its also a great time for them to have quality time together
I saw your post when this went viral and felt compelled to respond. I was the hairy child with plenty of “shin fur” as Tina Fey calls it (way worse than the pictures of your DD) and I totally feel for your DD. I have many stories going back to at least 2nd grade when I remember a girl on the playground running by and shouting “shave your legs!” I wasn’t allowed to shave until I was 10 and on swim team and it was getting ridiculous, but I wish my mom would have let me shave much earlier. I support others thoughts about conferring with your MD to rule out precocious puberty/PCOS etc. but regardless, if you think she can handle shaving, then show her how to safely do it and buy her a “good” razor that will reduce nicks and bumps/cuts, etc. Obviously at this age you’ll need to help her for a while or at least closely supervise her but kids have enough to deal with these days and I think shaving (or another safe hair removal process) is an easy and pretty pain free solution to this issue. And a side note, she’ll prob need to shave her whole leg, not just to the knee. My mom was adamant about this until she saw how ridiculous I looked, like I was wearing Capri pants made of fur. Best of luck!
Wow it's disconcerting to see yourself quoted in the daily mail!
I did DDs at 6 because she was getting a lot of teasing in gym.
We used Veet which was fine until recently, when her skin went a bit red, so I shave them for her now.
Takes two minutes, she's happy, that's all that matters to me.
I have told her until I'm blue in the face that nobody who loves her expects her to change, but if she wants to do it, then I'll help her. I couldn't care less what age it starts, if it helps them feel more confident; I've never felt compelled to use her as some sort of feminist test case. After all, she sees me doing mine!
I would help her remove the hair. It's important that girls learn that they own their own bodies.
I had this with my 8 year old a few weeks ago. She said she tried to hide her bare legs as she doesn't feel pretty or happy about how hairy they are. To be fair they are on the hair side and dark, so I bought her a lady shaver and done her legs for her but showed her how to do too. Shes allowed to shave them whenever she starts feeling conscious of them again and under my supervision. I bought her a lady shaver because I don't like the idea of her using a razor so young, since shes had them shaved shes alot more happier and confident about her bare legs. If she's happy and confident about her self and body then I'm happy.
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