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AIBU?

Step-baby

527 replies

LateLatte · 24/09/2018 23:29

How long should a step-baby wait to meet its new baby sibling? Assuming baby and Mother are well and hospital/babies home is within 30 minutes of where the older sibling lives and can be dropped off by another family member?

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curlykaren · 24/09/2018 23:31

Sorry, are both children babies? I don't fully understand?

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BlueBug45 · 24/09/2018 23:31

Baby? Babies don't care when they meet each other. Older children are different so it would help to give ages.

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Theredtoyphone · 24/09/2018 23:32

My DC met his brother the day he was born. All being well i’d think day of birth/day after would be ok?

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AssassinatedBeauty · 24/09/2018 23:33

Do you mean for health reasons or something else? What are you concerned about?

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Disquieted1 · 24/09/2018 23:34

Had to read this twice. You're asking how long before two babies can be introduced to each other? Well, immediately. It happens all the time on maternity wards......However, I suspect this is not really the question you're asking.

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arethereanyleftatall · 24/09/2018 23:35

It's all up to you isn't it? Whenever, one hour later, one week later, whatever works for you.

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Bosabosa · 24/09/2018 23:38

My step children met their half sibling (which I think is what you mean?) on the same day- after school if I remember rightly

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LaDameAuxLicornes · 24/09/2018 23:39

There is no "should" in this kind of situation. It's whatever works best for everyone concerned (and especially the mother and newborn, obviously).

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iogo · 24/09/2018 23:42

My DSD met both my children the day they were born. With my DS, he was born (at lunchtime) in the hospital round the corner from her school so DH went and collected her at 3:15 and brought her straight to the hospital. My DD was late and I went into labour the last day of half term when DSD was supposed to be going home. DH asked his ex if we could keep her as my parents were coming to the house to look after DS. DD was born at 2am, DH went home when the midwives sent him and came back at 10am with DSD and my parents.

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Emma765 · 24/09/2018 23:42

Do you mean a half sibling? Like how long should you leave it for your step-child to visit your new baby. That child would be your baby's half sibling.

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LateLatte · 24/09/2018 23:48

Sorry, typo! It should be "how long would you leave before inviting an older sibling to meet its new baby step-sibling". DS had a step-sibling born yesterday and still waiting for him to be invited to meet it 😒 When I had my second baby, he came the same day to meet it...

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HeddaGarbled · 24/09/2018 23:48

New mum’s decision, I think. If the step-sibling is also a baby, there’s no urgency.

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SleepingStandingUp · 24/09/2018 23:49

Step or half?

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AssassinatedBeauty · 24/09/2018 23:50

Whenever the mum wants, and try not to take it as an insult if it isn't as soon as you want. You don't know how she's feeling or what's going on. It really doesn't matter in the long run.

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SleepingStandingUp · 24/09/2018 23:51

So your ex has had a new baby and not invited your shared chd to see him?

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LateLatte · 24/09/2018 23:52

Most families introduce siblings as soon as they can so I feel sad for my son that his father and stepmother are not making him a priority in meeting his new sibling.

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NanooCov · 24/09/2018 23:52

Is your son bothered or is it just you that's sad?

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ohshitonit · 24/09/2018 23:52

My son didn't meet his brothers until they were 5 days old and I didn't see him for 5 days. It broke my heart but I was quite poorlyand it just didnt feel right. We waited till we got home.

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AssassinatedBeauty · 24/09/2018 23:53

It's been 1 day! Do you even know how the birth went?

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LateLatte · 24/09/2018 23:55

@SleepingStandingUp Yes. And it baffles me as my DS was the first person on my list of visitors. I think most mother's want to have their children meet ASAP, why shouldn't a stepmum make the same effort?! And I guess it's getting complicated re:step/half thing. Siblings sharing a father.

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SleepingStandingUp · 24/09/2018 23:55

Have you messaged Ex and offered to bring sin round when they're feeling ready?

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SleepingStandingUp · 24/09/2018 23:56

Half siblings then. If you met a guy who had a child and you got married THEY would be step siblings

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LateLatte · 24/09/2018 23:58

@ohshitonit I'm those circumstances, understandable. I fear this is a case of stepmum finding her stepson a chore. It's been over 36 hours and possibly more depending on how soon my DS was informed after birth.

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AssassinatedBeauty · 24/09/2018 23:59

You can't understand why your ex's partner isn't prioritising your child over her and her new baby?

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EleanorShellstrop · 24/09/2018 23:59

If they have the same father then they're half siblings, not step siblings. And how old is your ds? If he's under 2 then I don't think there's any rush.

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