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AIBU?

To hate those “Mother” / “Mama” / “Mutha” sweatshirts / jumpers?!

263 replies

jaffacakemonster · 24/09/2018 11:59

Those jumpers emblazoned with the words “Mother” / “Mama” / “Mutha” etc. that seem to have been around for a couple of years now – am I alone in finding them just beyond annoying? I find them just unbearably smug, contrived, attention-seeking, cringeworthy… especially as I am currently (desperately) TTC. I think they are kind of rubbing my nose in it a bit, I could be over-sensitive, but aside from that, I just think they are DEEPLY uncool anyway and I would not be seen dead in one! Just smacks of wanting to look like an instamum to me. ABIU?

OP posts:
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noworklifebalance · 24/09/2018 12:08

I am a mother and I LOATHE those jumpers

  • yes, it's great if you are mum and that's what you want but surely there must be more to your identity?
  • also (mass generalisation) the sort of women that wear those jumpers are not generally struggling through all the shit that life can throw at them in order to be a great mother, although I appreciate it is all relative
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NationalShiteDay · 24/09/2018 12:09

YANBU. I say this as a mother. I've seen a few people wearing them and just thought "why?.

It's just another brand. I looked it up and it all seemed very dull.

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NoSleepTil2030 · 24/09/2018 12:10

I think they're deeply uncool too tbh. And the only people in my acquaintance who wear them are wannabe-Instamums types who spend a lot of time talking about being a mum, sharing photos of their kids etc..

But tbf I remember the shift in identity/feeling I'd lost my identity when mine were really young, so maybe if someone is feeling lost like that then wearing one of these tops might make them feel like they belong somewhere/help them embrace their new identity a bit more. Does that make sense? (I appreciate that you might not have any sympathy for that POV though given what you've said in your OP. I hope you get a BFP soon.)

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Nellyelora · 24/09/2018 12:10

They originally became a 'thing' via Selfish Mother/the fmly store. She donates part of the profit to good causes and has raised a huge amount for charity.

Since then many others have jumped on the bandwagon, some donate profits, some don't. Personally I find them a bit cringe and would be too embarrassed to wear them but some people are very proud of being mothers, being a strong woman, want to support a charity, have something to put on their Instagram page 🤷‍♀️

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NoSleepTil2030 · 24/09/2018 12:12

the sort of women that wear those jumpers are not generally struggling through all the shit that life can throw at them in order to be a great mother
This is so true of the people I know who wear them. They have a lot of privilege. I think these tops are part of the smug, white, middle class instamum sub-culture (if it can be called that!)

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CaptainCorrigan · 24/09/2018 12:14

YANBU. They look stupid outside of Instagram. Saw a woman in Sainsbury's wearing one and felt a bit embarrassed for her that the baby in the trolley wasn't enough to let people know she was a mama. I also hate mama as it makes me think of horror films

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Secretsquirrel252 · 24/09/2018 12:15

They came from the Selfishmother blog. They were created to raise money for female survivors of war in 2014. There were ones that said ‘strong’ in 2016 to support the Yazidi women.

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Notso · 24/09/2018 12:17

My kids got me a mama one for Mother's Day, sorry.
If it helps I never post on Instagram or follow any instamums. It's just a jumper.

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TrexDrip · 24/09/2018 12:19

i quite like them although yet to buy one. After years of infertility we adopted 2 under 2 and i love the fact i am a mama, mother, mummy.
The one I want though is the 'Winging it' one which pretty much sums up everyday!

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FarrahMoan · 24/09/2018 12:19

I've got a couple but tbf I probably could be described as a smug, white, middle class insta mum. Fortunately my recent realisation that they're a bit naff has coincidenced with pregnancy weight gain and so they don't fit anyway

I like Mama generally though as its what DS2 calls me

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noworklifebalance · 24/09/2018 12:23

The charity aspect has been very much lost over the years (by the public and by other companies, as per OP: "mama", "mutha" etc). Plus, the use of the word "mother" really does limit who can buy and, therefore, support the charity.

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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 24/09/2018 12:24

MUTHA? ShockHmm

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noworklifebalance · 24/09/2018 12:25

Now, "winging it' is a truism - we're all learning on the job

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Shampooeeee · 24/09/2018 12:26

I’ve got a couple and I used to love them. I didn’t have an easy journey to having a child and I was very proud to be a mother. I was also woefully unprepared for how my life would be turned upside down and embracing my new role helped with that.
However, I realised a year or so ago that they are strongly linked to Instamums/ mummy bloggers, who I can’t stand! I have relegated the jumpers to dog walks and gardening because I don’t want to be associated with that tosh! So YANBU.

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puzzledlady · 24/09/2018 12:27

It’s just a jumper.

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Surfinbird · 24/09/2018 12:29

O agree with you OP. They are hideously smug and deeply uncool. I find any slogan tops embarrassing anyway. Who needs a tshirt to talk for them ? 🙈🙈🙈
Plus I wouldn’t support the brand that makes them anyway, think it’s run by ropey morals

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DeloresJaneUmbridge · 24/09/2018 12:29

I am so uncool I didn’t even know these were a “thing”.

I am off now to Google.

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StateofIndependance · 24/09/2018 12:29

They’re only worn by people who like to think they look way cooler than the average mother. Without the slogan you’d never know as they aren’t fat and frumpy. ‘Winging it’ similarly only for the perpetual over achiever.

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fourandnomore · 24/09/2018 12:31

Sitting wearing winging it jumper as I type. Don't have an Instagram account, not sure I'd wear a mother one but winging it really does describe most days for me, so I related to it. It's the comfiest, cosiest jumper I own and the fact they've raised over £780,000 for various charities did appeal I must admit.

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RoboJesus · 24/09/2018 12:31

It's ridiculous to get upset over an inoffensive jumper

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YeTalkShiteHen · 24/09/2018 12:33

They’re only worn by people who like to think they look way cooler than the average mother. Without the slogan you’d never know as they aren’t fat and frumpy. ‘Winging it’ similarly only for the perpetual over achiever.

I had to laugh at that, I’ve got 2 selfish mother jumpers (one says winging it)

I’m a fat, grumpy, far from overachiever.

Guess stereotypes are just that eh?

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YeTalkShiteHen · 24/09/2018 12:33

Oh I don’t have an Instagram account either, I hate it.

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YeTalkShiteHen · 24/09/2018 12:33

Frumpy not grumpy

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DunkerOfSussex · 24/09/2018 12:36

i had no idea what you were talking about until someone mentioned the winging it shirt which I saw yesterday on the side bar of my mumsnet advertisements and will admit I liked the look of.

I think the ironic this here is that it only people who follow instamums would know it's an instamum thing (I didn't). So you're judging people for following something you follow?

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fourandnomore · 24/09/2018 12:36

Flipping heck I think I'll get changed before the school run. I didn't realise I was giving off the vibes mentioned here and I am pretty sure I am none of the things you describe. Far from cool, stay at home parent so over achieving is something I certainly can't manage at the moment. So much venom about a jumper, this is why school yards are so awful to enter and maybe I'm just making it harder for myself. It can just be my cleaning the house jumper from now on.

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