Not to tell my friend I've seen her boyfriend on tinder?

[noluckinlove]

She's been seeing him 4/5 months only.
It might have been a old profile.
Should I keep my mouth shut or not?

[magoria]

I would let her know. It could be that they haven't yet had the exclusive chat or he may be messing her around.

[ButchyRestingFace]

I would 🤐 unless you can see that he is currently logging in and actively using it.

He may have simply forgotten to change his status to “taken”.

[SomewhereNow]

Afaik Tinder only shows you when you’ve been recently active...that said I’ve no idea what I’d do in this situation. She deserves to know if he’s on there but I would feel uncomfortable being the one to tell her.

[Iamtheoneandonly2018]

I've known my friend for years - noticed her bf with whom she's buying a house - was on it. Not said a word

[ButchyRestingFace]

Afaik Tinder only shows you when you’ve been recently active...

Oh right, well, gloves aff, OP. Fire in there and LTB on her behalf.

[noluckinlove]

Yeah I don't think I will say anything.
She is happy so I'm not going to spoil it for her over something and nothing.

[Merryoldgoat]

I’d have to tell her. I’d want to know and would be absolutely gutted if a friend saw a partner of mine on there and didn’t tell me.

[adviceonthepox]

I would want to know. My ex had multiple dating profiles across loads of different sites people knew and didn't tell me. When I found out I was devastated. It was worse when people said I didn't like to say 😭
Imagine if they were 6 years in with kids Breyer to know now than then.

[C0untDucku1a]

Something and nothing????

[TeddybearBaby]

I’d be gutted if you were my friend and you didn’t tell me.

[Lacypants]

I'd tell. Tinder hides your profile if you aren't active for a while.

[Banana8080]

Sorry but what’s a definition of a friend if it isn’t looking out for each other! Give her the facts, a screen shot maybe, maybe it’s an old account, she can find out.

If it all comes out 18 months, and a baby down the line, that’s he’s a total two-timer then shame on you for never giving the chance to see his true colours in the early days.

If you don’t tell her then end the friendship. She doesn’t deserve you.

[Ellisandra]

If it’s something and nothing, he can explain it.

You need to amend your title to “someone I know”, because you are NOT her friend. A friend would tell her.

I know it’s shit for you, I know you might worry about being the shot messenger.

But how can you stay friends? How can you look her in the eye? How can you call yourself a friend?

[Kittykat93]

Yes of course you tell her if she's a friend. And I wouldn't think it 'something or nothing' if my boyfriend was using a dating app.

[dinosaurkisses]

I’d be livid if I later found out a friend knew but didn’t want to say anything in case it was a bit awkward.

If there’s an innocent explanation for it, then that’s fine. If there isn’t, I’d rather know 4/5 months into a relationship than after I’d got pregnant or we’d moved in together.

[FanciedAChangeToday]

Can you ask him why he is on there? in front of her

[gendercritter]

Please tell her. She's not far into the relationship. Yes it'll hurt her bit she can get out easily now. A year or two down the line and it will be that much worse.

I'd want to know

[MadameGerbil]

Maybe you could quietly mention it to the bloke if you come into contact with him?. Then he knows that you know!

[hooveringhamabeads]

Yes tinder does only show your profile if you’ve been recently active. I believe after a week of inactivity it’s not shown.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

That's a Poor Friendship decision you've made, OP!

If you care for her really you'd let her now, so she can make an informed decision. You are currently treating her like a delicate child!

[LucyMorningStar]

Do tell her. It's her decision what she does with that information but you've got to give her that choice.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

I believe after a week of inactivity it’s not shown

Yep. He's been on in the last 7 days...

[Hwory]

Err he should only be in the stack if he’s been active on tinder on the last 7 days.

So you obviously tell your friend.

I swear some people don’t know the meaning of friendship on here.

[pickledparsnip]

Why on earth wouldn't you tell her? I'd be mortified if one of my friends didn't tell me.

[Familyfeud22]

My friend saw my bf on tinder and told me about it. It turned out to be absolutely nothing and I know he hadn't used it since we were in a relationship which was easily proved. But I am so glad she told me, I'd have been really upset if she knew and didn't tell me about it.