NDN is making my life hell

[Binkyboo16]

Sorry if this is long but I really need advice on how to deal with this situation.

I’m a private renter and have been in my house just over a year now. We have an older dog and 2 DC under 2. When we first moved in our NDN were lovely and always spoke when we saw them, never any issues until about 6 months ago. NDN came knocking the door to say the dog was constantly barking. Now me and DP work opposite shifts so dog is only left for short periods of time on his own, even when we go out for the day we make sure someone will be along to let him out/walk him or just stick around for half an hour to give him a fuss and fresh water etc. I apologised and explained our work pattern and said I would try to see if there was something that was bothering him whilst we were out. He is kept in our large kitchen, not caged, with quiet radio on to block outdoor noises as much as possible and make him feel comfortable. Always let out before I go, always has food and water and is walked every single day. Less than a week later he was banging on my door again claiming we are a nuisance and threatening to call the RSPCA and tell them I am abusing my dog and he hoped they would take him away!! Third trimester hormones had me shaking with anger and telling him I had nothing to hide so he could call them and he would be the one looking a fool! Clearly nothing came of that so he has now decided to start hassling my landlord in an attempt to get me evicted. My LL’s are lovely and have met the dog and have told me under no circumstances am I to listen to him but he is becoming a nightmare. He last cornered me in the street with my DC in tow and started yelling at me saying he is getting a solicitor involved and is documenting every time I leave the house and how long I’m gone for . I have put cameras up to watch the dog when I’m out and I can not see any point where he barks for more than a couple of minutes (may be point to add that this seems to be when the other NDN’s 3 dogs are outside as camera has picked up background barking) but this man is making my life hell. I now don’t want to leave the house through fear of him verbally accosting me in the street with my DC, last time my eldest was in floods of tears because he scared her. Probably not a AIBU but more of a WWYD?

[EdinaMonsoon]

I would keep a diary of all of these encounters & consider contacting the police to discuss whether his actions constitute harrassment.

[Binkyboo16]

Thank you so much for replying. I wondered that too but I didn’t want to be wasting police time over a dispute with my neighbour. He is a retired older man but he is trying to intimidate me with documenting every time I go out and actually told my LL I ‘venture out too much’ I have a 2 yo and a 12 week old baby, I’m in no hurry to go out needlessly at all these days!

[Ginorchoc]

Are you keeping recordings of your own footage. I’d just ignore.

[ZigZagIntoTheBlue]

I wonder if he thinks the background barking is your dog - is the ndn with dogs the other side of you?
I would call the police and get them to tell him to back the fuck off!

[Binkyboo16]

Yes I have, it’s all on memory cards which are then saved to the computer so if it ever came to a council/court situation I have evidence. I think it’s more the emotional effect it’s having on me. I’m a little run down after having my baby and the anxiety it gives me to go out even for a short walk is starting to really affect our lives. Thank you for the advice

[Binkyboo16]

Yes they are and their dogs are kept outside all day in a huge outdoor pen. This is what I thought but when I suggested this to him he was adamant it wasn’t their dogs at all.

[Losingthewill1]

Tell him if he threatens you again you’ll call the police, and actually follow through. Doesn’t matter if he’s old

[MyHusbandSaysIHave1000MNNames]

This sounds frightening. I'd follow the advice of previous posters.

[Binkyboo16]

Thank you all for your replies, seems a unanimous vote to contact the police which I will do next time. Although if anyone has any tips on settling dogs whilst they are on their own I will gladly take advice

[Whocansay]

I had to contact 101 last week due to problems with my neighbour. Different scenario entirely and no 'crime' has been committed, but his aggression is escalating towards us. Anyway, the people I spoke to were very helpful, took the details and gave me a reference number, so that they can send an officer out immediately if he kicks off again.

I would call them sooner than later. What he's doing is harassment.

[Ghostonthedancefloor]

Oh op! We are also next to a horrible old creep. He is really is horrible.

The final straw was a few months ago when he walked passed me getting shopping out of the car, got to the bottom of the hill and started giving me the finger while calling me an effin bitch.

That day I drove to our local police station, explained everything to them and they couldn’t have been more lovely. I too didn’t think it was a police matter as no serious ‘crime’ had been committed. However they said I absolutely did the right thing, and that they heard stories like it all the time. They came round a few days later and asked what I wanted to do. They were quite happy to go round and warn him off, but I chose to leave it at that unless he does something else again.

He was forever ringing our landlords about the smallest things, the most recent being something about a hedge. When they came it turned out to be a hedge we couldn’t of even got to, my landlord gave him an absolute earful saying how sick of him they were. I don’t know if he’s rang them again since. But like you I’m constantly living on edge waiting for the next thing, I don’t even peg washing out any more. I rarely let the children play outside.

Basically what I’m trying to say is go to the police, I felt a huge relief once I had poured it out to someone who had the power to deal with it. And like they said, no one should feel like this in their own home.

[Exploring]

Any chance you'd be able to try forcing a conclusion by sneaking your dog away for a holiday (if you've got someone who could look after it and it would cope) then venture forth ostentatiously whilst recording the fact your dog isn't there, and if the neighbour goes off on one you can prove he is the one that's barking up the wrong tree?

[StoneofDestiny]

Regardless of his age, call the police. Keep up your records and treat his behaviour as stalking, threatening and intimidating. Get your landlords support too. You have been there a year, has the man had form with previous tenants?

[Downeyhouse]

I love exploring’s idea!

[BackToTheFuschia7]

Yes, definitely call the police. He doesn’t get to just be abusive like that!

If anything, I’d tell him to report you. Barking for a couple of minutes won’t be classed as a nuisance and it would be good for him to hear independently that you aren’t doing anything wrong.

[redexpat]

Funny how he doesnt get aggressive with your DP isnt it.

[Dollymixture22]

Could you ask him to keep a diary of the barking for a week. Keep your own records and recordings - and sneak the dog out for a few of the days. Then see when the problems are arising. You will have proof it’s not your dog that he hears

[Binkyboo16]

Sorry for the late reply folks I’ve off the radar with poorly DC i will try not to drip feed to answer questions
whocansay and ghost for you both! If you feel anything like I do, I understand just how fruustrating it is when you just want a quiet life!
exploring and dollymixture22 I really wish this was a possibility however everyone I know who would take him has dogs and unfortunately my poor little dog was a rescue dog from the fighting rings, he was dumped after losing and spent a lot of time in the vets so this has made him petrified of other animals to the point yesterday morning a squirell chased him back into the house!
stone yes he has actually, when he first started to complain the Landlords mentioned he had complained of the previous tenant many times hence why they told us to ignore him. That being said the landlord also believes his problem isn’t with the dog it’s actually with my DC and he is just using the dog as an excuse to try to get me out. He wants another retired couple next door they believe. I can believe this as eldest DD is going through the tantrum phase and definitely makes more noise than the dog
redexpat I have actually pointed this out to DP, as he saw him a few weeks ago and told DP things had got better and there was no longer a problem, this was about 5 days before he rang the LL again saying that it was beyond a joke now and that I ‘venture out too much’ almost like he wants to put me on a curfew. I never even had one as a teenager and now feel like I’m being demanded to be in at a certain time by my elderly neighbour

[Catastic]

I also live across the road from an angry older man. At some point he has complained about and fallen out with everyone on the street over really minor stuff. He needs a hobby other than peering out his front window and moaning.

I also agree you need to involve the police. It is not acceptable to verbally abuse people, especially when they have small children with them!

[Binkyboo16]

catastic we should sign them up for hobbies together that way they would have each other to moan to!

I agree, he didn’t even stop when DD started crying I had to just walk past him and get into the house to calm her down, then he complained to LL that I was rude and ignored him.

[Veterinari]

It’s wortg re-evaluating your actions and the dig’s Behaviour to ensure that separation abxiety behaviours aten’t Creeping in - these articles have some useful info on preventing/treating separation behaviour
www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/common-dog-behavior-issues/separation-anxiety

www.dogstrustdogschool.org.uk/behaviour/separation-anxiety/dealing-with-separation/

Good luck OP your neighbour sounds difficult!

[Foslady]

Definitely gobto tge Police - this is harassment. Every time there is an issue log the time and date wgatvwas said exactly (including any foul language) and just as importantly how it made you feel.

[Frouby]

I rarely suggest getting a dp/dh involved with stuff like this. But in this case I would absolutely send my dh round to tell the old twat that any problems are to be discussed with him and not you.

Your ndn is a bully. He had probably bullied women all his life. He probably won't say boo to your dh.

Your dh doesn't have to shout or be aggressive. Just explain that you have enough whining to deal with, with 2 little ones. So any problems should be discussed with him and only him. And that he won't be happy if he finds he has bothered you again.

[ClaudiaWankleman]

That’s an extreme reaction @vandrew4
Do other loud noises agitate you?