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AIBU?

To expect Teacher to call me?

50 replies

Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 11:18

My sons are in a generally great primary, highly respected in the local community. Predominantly white English intake but around 10/450 pupils are non white, including my sons who are mixed race.

We’ve never had any issues apart from one child making comments in ks1. Yesterday ds (yr6) came home and said a classmate had been calling him a “coon, nigger” to other boys in the class.

After discussion ds said he mentioned this to the C T who just the boy not to say it again and that was it. Now l appreciate kids say stuff but they are YR6 so should no better and l at least would have expected a phone call from school surely?

OP posts:
Oddcat · 20/09/2018 11:24

What horrible children . I would guess that the school just don't have the time to phone parents about this sort of thing ( as awful as it is ) they've dealt with it and will probably keep an eye on things .

Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 11:27

Apologies for the couple of glaring typos... on my phone!

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itswinetime · 20/09/2018 11:28

I don't know if I would have expected a phone call. I would have expected it to be delt with more appropriately than don't say that again though! And I would be raising that would the school.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 20/09/2018 11:29

I wouldn't necessarily expect the school to call you instantly -especially as it sounds like your DS wasn't distraught I would expect a more involved response than "just don't say it again" to the boy in question. I would probably have a chat with the CT and clarify what happened and what's being done about it.

Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 11:46

Just to clarify I didn’t say ds wasn’t upset, he was actually!

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user1469081203 · 20/09/2018 11:48

This actually happened to us yesterday (well, it was the n-word not the c-word and the kids are in Year 4). The teacher talked to me (and the other boy's mum) about it at pick-up but if that hadn't have been the case, I know she would have emailed me about it. There's also going to be some follow-up on inappropriate words with the class in a few days' time.

NorthEndGal · 20/09/2018 11:49

I wouldn't be expecting a phone call, as there would be no need, but I'd hope they'd do more to address it

Hadalifeonce · 20/09/2018 11:51

I would expect the head to call in the parent(s) of the other child to advise them of his/her racist comments. It is not acceptable, and I think it is something that may have to be reported to the LA by the school. I know of a school which has done this.
If I were you, I would speak to the head to ensure that it is being dealt with.

Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 11:52

North why wouldn’t you want to be informed about a child being racially abusive towards your child . At 10/11 years of age they know this is wrong surely?

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RomanyRoots · 20/09/2018 11:54

I wouldn't expect a phone call, I would call myself and make sure it had been dealt with. I'd expect the child to be educated about racism, but realise they couldn't tell me about the other child.
I would call the HT, explain what has happened and let them deal with it.

Booboostwo · 20/09/2018 11:54

Huge underreaction by the school. They should have talke

Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 11:55

I have been waiting for contact from the school but as yet nothing. I’ve now rung and asked to speak with the head but was interested to hear views on the non contact from CT

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categed · 20/09/2018 11:55

We legally have to raise any racist incident and report to senior management. So i would expect the school to be in touch but also behind the scenes this would be being flagged and treated seriously.
I would phone the school and nicely ask if they are aware and ask what is being done.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 20/09/2018 11:55

Just to clarify I didn’t say ds wasn’t upset, he was actually!

Didn't mean to imply your DC wasn't distressed (and justifiably so!) just didn't sound like he was distraught from the tone of your post. I would expect a phone call if my child had racially abused someone at school though.

ShalomJackie · 20/09/2018 11:55

Yes. Contact them and ask how the racist incident has been dealt with. Also inform them that although DS displayed no outward sign of upset he has in fact been upset by the incident. They have a duty to record it on the "perpetrators" record is my understanding.

categed · 20/09/2018 11:56

Cross posted. Not all teachers will phone as it may be in heads hands also they don't always have time and may need to speak to management before speaking to you about it.

Booboostwo · 20/09/2018 11:56

I am so sorry, iPad playing up.

The school should have talked to you at pick up, even called you if DS was distressed during the day. The teacher should have spoken to the parents of the child and perhaps even addressed the issue of racism with the whole class (without picking on individual children either way).

Yokohamajojo · 20/09/2018 11:56

At Y6 I would expect that sort of language/behaviour to be dealt with quite severely. It is quite obvious that it was malicious and for a10/11 Yo to know words like the C word is worrying.

Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 11:59

Heads just phoned me, knew nothing about it so going in after school!

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PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 20/09/2018 12:01

Heads just phoned me, knew nothing about it so going in after school!

YANBU to go in then. I don't think it's the fact you weren't immediately concerned but an incident that serious should have been escalated so that the head would know.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 20/09/2018 12:02

At my school (which actually has a very low percentage of white children) use of words like that would (as they should) be treated as a racist incident. A record has to be completed and the "perpetrators" parent/guardian would be asked to come to school to discuss the incident. It should be treated very seriously.

Of course, it is possible that it is being dealt with but personally I would contact the school to make sure that SLT are aware and that it is being addressed.

EmmaGellerGreen · 20/09/2018 12:06

Your school should have policies for dealing with bullying/racist/sexist incidents. I would take copies with me and seek assurances that the matter was being dealt with in accordance with the policies.

Haireverywhere · 20/09/2018 12:06

I would have expected to have been told at the school or if not I'd be going in to talk to the teacher.

PlateOfBiscuits · 20/09/2018 12:07

As a teacher I can tell you you’re doing the right thing. Racism is a huge deal - is have to fill in paperwork for the situation your son described and that would involve me speaking to you.

It’s fair enough if you don’t know the exact consequences the other child was given, but I’d at least reassure you that he was being dealt with and we were taking it very seriously.

I’m so sorry your DS experienced that. Hope your meeting goes well.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 20/09/2018 12:08

I work in a large, very busy secondary school. If a child makes an allegation of racial abuse/bullying we would absolutely call the parents of both children. I would be assuring the victims parents that we would investigate (by taking statements from both students as well as staff or other students who were present) and that if the child was indeed found to have used racist language appropriate sanctions would be put in place in line with the school behaviour policy. I would then call the parents of the alleged perpetrator to explain that an allegation had been made and we were looking into it. If there was evidence the child had used those words I would then contact both parents again to feedback the outcome and what sanctions SLT had deemed appropriate. I would also want to speak to the parents of the child who used the racist language about where their child has heard such language- are they hearing it from anyone at home or could they be watching inappropriate content online for example?
We would also have to fill in a specific form for the LA outlining action taken as racist incidents must be recorded.
Yes, we are very busy and properly investigating and repsonding to incidents is time-consuming but that's no excuse. Racist and homophobic bullying should not be ignored or tolerated in any educational establishment.

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