Lying ex was 3 hours late dropping baby back

[user1496231209]

Second time DD's dad had her without me and it was bloody awful which ended up with me calling the police.
We came up to London so he could take her to see his grandad and agreed to drop her to me at the station for 3pm.
He left me and my 7 year old son stood there till 6.00pm and I used the station phone to call the police at that time because my phone died and he still hasn’t come back and she’s only 6 weeks old. He was ignoring my texts phone calls after texting at 4pm to say he’d lost track of time. I tried to ring straight after that text three times with no answer.
My older brother came and got my eldest as I was too scared to leave encase he turned up.
When he did, DD was dressed in just a vest and he stared shouting at me telling me she was too hot in a babygrow. He then proceeded to pull out a babygrow which apparently was soaking when I handed him but clearly he had dipped it in water as it didn’t smell of urine and wasn’t even the one she was wearing when I dropped her off but the spare one I packed.
He was really verbally aggressive and said if I wanted to make trouble (cause I called the police) then he could do the same for me.

Since then I've had numerous texts filled with lies about me, my parenting, my mental health and the aggressive incident which took place.

I'm still in such a shock and his latest text has said he will be down at 2.30 on Saturday to see DD. Am I being unreasonable denying contact until I've arranged mediation and from there obtained a court order in regards to contact and residence?

[EDITED by MNHQ to remove identifying information]

[Dragongirl10]

Oh op my blood ran cold when l read that your DD was only 6 weeks old......she should not be seperated from you AT ALL.

Stop all contact until you have good legal advice.

[cestlavielife]

Speak to your health visitor and get legal advice

[user1496231209]

I am on Diazepam but it's a 4 day course due to moving home and away from my mum (1 2mg tablet before bed)

[kaytee87]

Is he on the birth certificate?

[user1496231209]

He is on the birth certificate

[Scarydinosaurs]

Stop contact. Supervised contact only. How terrifying for you. You must get legal advice- borrow the money if you have to, but goodness me. How awful for you.

[Airaforce]

Get this thread pulled or amended as you've identified your dd by her name.

[Chickychoccyegg]

well at 6 weeks old she should be with you all the time, I'd be getting some advice from a solicitor asap

[AsleepAllDay]

Oh my god he's awful. OP please do look at your legal options

[NorthernLurker]

So you’re on safe, prescribe meds. That’s fine. He comes across as cold and controlling. Solicitor tomorrow and follow their advice. Somebody who has only met a newborn sporadically should never be in charge of her for an extended time. If contact continues it will need to be short and frequent. A contact centre could be a good get. Get legal advice.

[LIZS]

You might want to edit your dd's name out (contact mnhq via Report button) . Assuming he is an ex is there a contact order in place. A young baby is not normally expected to be away from the mother for hours otherwise.

[kaytee87]

Are you breastfeeding at all?

Personally I'd let him take you to court after turning up so late with a tiny baby.

Speak to your hv and explain what happened.

Write it all down factually with times and dates etc.

[user1496231209]

I've contacted citizens advice but no solicitor will help me as I can't afford them. What would my best next steps be?

[ZigZagIntoTheBlue]

My blood ran cold when I read his 'concern' about you falling down the stairs. Yes deny visitation and let him take you to court op. Don't be alone with him!

[kaytee87]

Do you know if you're entitled to legal aid?

Can he afford a solicitor if he were to take you to court? You can represent yourself but preferably not if he has a solicitor.

[Justanothernameonthepage]

Seek legal advice ASAP. Look at nearest contact centre. Text back that Saturday is not possible and be out the house as long as possible.
Do not engage. Keep all evidence of his behaviour.

[kaytee87]

How does he know about your medication? Tell this man nothing about yourself from now on.

[EmilyRosiEl]

Wow so:

1. Six weeks is too young to be away from you for an hour, let alone three.
   

1. Diazepam is not an anti-psychotic it's a benzodiazepine. It can be used for anxiety or as a muscle relaxant.
   

1. Most definitely refuse contact until you've sought legal advice!

[Justanothernameonthepage]

Ok, if you can't afford legal advice, tell him to take you to court to come to agreement. Offer contact at a contact centre until agreement can be reached but on a regular date that works for you. Change your number and only check the number he has once a week. Offer to send weekly updates via email. Set up a email address that you don't look at. Do not engage.

[LilyMumsnet]

OP, we've withdrawn the screenshots as they mention your DD's name. Feel free to post without.

[Claw001]

Hope you and your dd are ok.

What did the police say? You might get a call from social services. The police usually inform them when children are involved.

[AsleepAllDay]

Diazepam is not an anti psychotic! The man is lying in the middle of his lies

OP sounds like you could be entitled to legal aid

[user1496231209]

He called the police himself to show he's on the birth certificate because apparently I told the police a stranger had taken her. I didn't at all I told them he was her father so that's all lies.

I'm going to look into legal aid tomorrow and mediation xx

[user1496231209]

When I say that Saturday is not convenient do I say it's because of the late time she was dropped back before and therefore think it's best we go through mediation first