Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

Teacher man handing 4 year old DS

112 replies

Essexdarling · 17/09/2018 17:41

Aibu to want to March down the school and slap New headmaster for putting his hands on my 4yo DS?
So ds started reception last week, first full day today, in assembly he was talking, the new head yanked him off the floor by his arm and dragged him to sit with his teacher... ok so I understand reasonable force to ensure safety of students from themselves and to others etc... he’s 4! He’s talking to his friend in assembly. If he had told him to go sit with the teacher he would have! I got the story from my 2 older DD’s who were in assembly too, both same story. Should I be pulling him up for man handing my child with no good reason?! Or is this supposed to be acceptable?? Help pls (p.s no I do actually want to slap him)

OP posts:

Report

Essexdarling · 17/09/2018 17:42

* don’t actually want to slap him... stupid phone *

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2018 17:43

Teacher man? I’m not sure why his sex is relevant.

Saying that, handling a child roughly is always worth pursuing. I’d arrange a meeting and follow up with governors depending on how that goes.

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2018 17:44

Apologies, I’ve just realised what your title actually says (manhandling!).

Andro · 17/09/2018 17:47

PurpleDaisies - I suspect it was supposed to be manhandling, not man handling.

OP, that seems too rough and an overreaction to a 4yo who is just learning the rules of the school.

Andro · 17/09/2018 17:47

cross post.

Celestia26 · 17/09/2018 17:48

I would go and speak to him, but don't go in all guns blazing, wait until you get the whole story. How old are the other children who witnessed it? I would be really surprised if a head teacher acted this way, especially in front of a whole school assembly, but you never know!

Essexdarling · 17/09/2018 17:49

Thanks, sorry my phone seems to auto-correct everything I write. Just not sure if I’m overreacting at all? Should he be pulled around like that?, if I done that in the school playground they’d have SS on my doorstep faster than I could walk home!

OP posts:

AsAProfessionalFekko · 17/09/2018 17:49

I agree to getting the whole story first.

notanurse2017 · 17/09/2018 17:50

Did you witness this?

SugarNyx · 17/09/2018 17:51

I would deffo go yell at him, no one puts their hands on my kid! Teacher did that to me once and my mum made her cry 😂

continuallychargingmyphone · 17/09/2018 17:51

You will be taken far more seriously if you calmly but gravely state your concerns than if you go down there shouting and threatening to slap and shouting about SS.

Toastedstrudel · 17/09/2018 17:52

Manhandling or directing? Your son should not be speaking to his friend in assembly, all our new starters already know that. If they do, they can expect a staff member to take their hand or arm and move them. I somehow doubt he was pulled across the room.

Northernparent68 · 17/09/2018 17:52

Surely you should take your child’s account with a pinch of salt.

Essexdarling · 17/09/2018 17:52

Celestia26 my dd’s are 10 & 11, the eldest in y6 and I’m inclined to believe what she’s told me, he’s new to the school this term and not sure if he’s trying to establish his authority but as far as I’m aware he didn’t even give my ds a warning first, think I’ll have a chat with him... not sure if teachers are allowed to do this?

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2018 17:52

I would deffo go yell at him, no one puts their hands on my kid! Teacher did that to me once and my mum made her cry

Awful idea. Truly awful.

If you scream you certainly won’t make the teacher cry and you won’t be taken seriously either.

Parisbun · 17/09/2018 17:53

You need to go and speak to the head to find out what happened and why.
The other children would be able to see the head but not their sibling so might have missed some cheekiness or repeated misbehaviour that initiated the manhandling .
But dont go in all guns blazing . Save your wrath until needed.

YeTalkShiteHen · 17/09/2018 17:55

I’d speak to the school and find out what actually happened (I’m not saying your DDs were lying, but it could look very different to a protective big sister than it would to someone else if that makes sense?)

That said, if the first response to talking is to put hands on the child I would think that an overreaction and I’d ask that it was reconsidered as a go to. I’d also make sure they knew that I’d make sure my son knew talking when he shouldn’t isn’t on.

RSTera · 17/09/2018 17:56

no one puts their hands on my kid!

I think if you read your school's behaviour policy/ positive handling policy, they can and will if necessary.

YeTalkShiteHen · 17/09/2018 17:57

I would deffo go yell at him, no one puts their hands on my kid! Teacher did that to me once and my mum made her cry

How did school work out for you?

Essexdarling · 17/09/2018 17:57

Said nothing about shouting about SS or threatening annoying. Did correct my original post in bold underneath. If your going to interject please read comments properly first.
2 of my older children said he was sitting on the floor in the hall and was yanked to his feet by the headteacher grabbing his upper arm and pulling him up then marched to sit with his teacher.

OP posts:

continuallychargingmyphone · 17/09/2018 17:57

Tbf it isn’t really necessary in assembly.

But I do think the bravado over making teachers cry is ridiculous.

SoyDora · 17/09/2018 18:01

Don’t yell, that will get you nowhere. Certainly go in and talk calmly about it though. It certainly is not an appropriate reaction to a 4 year old chatting in assembly.

Celestia26 · 17/09/2018 18:02

At 10-11 years old you should be able to trust what they say, however they are missing the context of the situation as well, so may not be fully aware of how the situation occurred. Only their point of view of it.

Did his class teacher witness it? Maybe speak to them first and say you're concerned and want to clarify what happened.

But please be calm. You'll do yourself no favours by letting loose as soon as you see him. At the moment you're going by the word of children. You'll lose credibility with staff if you get aggressive straight away.

Wolfiefan · 17/09/2018 18:04

I would go in and ask what happened. Your older kids may have seen something but they may not have seen and heard everything.
And “yanked” is a rather emotive word. Don’t go on that.

YeTalkShiteHen · 17/09/2018 18:05

There’s absolutely no harm in clarifying it OP, especially in a calm way (which is what it came across like, I didn’t really think you wanted to belt the teacher!)

If he did indeed pull him to his feet that is appalling.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.