Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

Is it true DD will seriously be disadvantaged and miss out on so much by not going into halls at uni?

58 replies

AsherD · 15/09/2018 21:37

Just that please. She hasn't been there long (in a private studio) and seems to be enjoying it, but part of me is always feeling like she's missing out now because of what I've read on here, so just looking for insight on a thread that is just on this subject.

OP posts:

Report

RubyWho · 15/09/2018 21:38

She’s not. Lots of universities don’t have halls/Student accommodation and students have to commute or privately rent.

Report

Fibbertigibbet · 15/09/2018 21:39

I think it depends on the person. I absolutely HATED halls, and it made my first year of uni far more stressful than it needed to be. In third year I lived alone in a bedsit and was so so much happier. I wouldn't worry too much.

Report

MaggieSimpsonsPacifier · 15/09/2018 21:39

It depends on her personality! For some people it would be missing out, for others it would be hell on Earth

Report

Alwa · 15/09/2018 21:40

As long as she's happy about it don't worry about it

Report

itswinetime · 15/09/2018 21:42

I didn't stay in halls and loved uni it was probably a different experience to those that did but i don't think halls would have suited me! She's happy that's what's important.

Report

thejeangenie36 · 15/09/2018 21:42

Well, I was in halls and loved it: met all of my closest friends there. But University expansion means that private rentals like your Dad's are not uncommon these days. You can still have a good social life without halls.

Report

Sparklingbrook · 15/09/2018 21:43

I agree it depends on the person. If she's happy then that's fine and she will meet people on the course.

DS1 was in Halls for the first year and the people in the flat all got along really well even though they had never met before. He is now in a rented house with the same people for the second year.

But DS1 needed people around him, especially the first few weeks when he was a bit undecided whether he had done the right thing and very homesick.

Report

Sierra259 · 15/09/2018 21:43

I felt like I missed out, but then I'm quite a shy person and found it difficult to get to know people who had already spent more time together in halls. They could socialise more easily and I never really made the close, lifelong friendships that other friends and my siblings made from being in halls. I don't doubt it can be a complete nightmare for some. But I wish I'd had the chance to experience it

Report

Kintan · 15/09/2018 21:44

The friends I made in halls I still have 20 years later. But not everyone would have the same experience. Is she making friends on her course?

Report

Bluntness100 · 15/09/2018 21:44

There is no one answer to this, my experience and my daughters is that the kids who do not go into halls are more isolated and this impacts throughout their uni time, some like that, some don't.

I'd say she won't be as integrated socially as the other kids, but if she likes it, that's all that matters.

Report

AliTheMinx · 15/09/2018 21:47

Living in halls in my first year was brilliant and I think it's absolutely part of being a student. A friend didn't live on campus and missed out on so much. I'm still friends with my "kitchen group" 20 years on. We made some amazing friendships and experienced so much together. It was also important to have people around to talk to.

Report

LoniceraJaponica · 15/09/2018 21:51

We have been looking at accommodation at Lancaster today. DD really liked the townhouse halls with 12 to a flat. Lancaster dissuade new students from staying in studio accommodation because it can be quite isolating.

Report

AsherD · 15/09/2018 21:54

This is definitely my worry. She says she has been talking to people on her course and goes to lunch with them, etc. but hasn't really done anything with them outside of uni yet but she says she is more than happy with that. She's a bit of a loner and likes it that way, but I hoped uni would stop her feeling like that.

OP posts:

Report

Whatififall · 15/09/2018 21:57

I only have my own experience to go on but I loved halls. My closest friendship -almost 20 years later- are my friends from halls.
I was shy though, I needed people around me to bring me on and keep me going. If I’d gone back to live in a bed sit on my own I would have isolated myself.

Report

LoniceraJaponica · 15/09/2018 21:57

Why did she opt for a studio? I'm surprised the university didn't suggest that she should be in with other people.

Report

MarcieBlue · 15/09/2018 22:00

I loved halls. Was partying a lot a made great friends. But I think as long as she is making good friends to live with next year it will be ok.

Report

AsherD · 15/09/2018 22:03

She doesn't plan to live with anyone next year either. She opted for a studio as she specifically didn't want to live with others and wanted a place to come back to at the end of the day without having to interact with people.

OP posts:

Report

RedDwarves · 15/09/2018 22:03

Standard where I live not to live on campus at all, or not to live on campus beyond your first year. I commuted throughout my entire degree, as did most other people I know.

It has not impacted any of us negatively, and saved us, and our parents, an enormous amount of money, as university accommodation runs at around $350 p/w in Sydney.

Report

VioletCharlotte · 15/09/2018 22:13

My DS isn't going into halls. We live abut half hour away from the uni so he's going to commute in every day. I was a bit worried about him missing out, but he's not bother at all. He says he may move out next year when he's made some friends and can choose who he's lives with. This seems pretty sensible to me. I was in halls with people I had nothing in common with at all so was pretty miserable in my first year.

Report

QuizzlyBear · 15/09/2018 22:15

I can sympathise with your DD as I was a fairly reserved and introverted student, but I have to say that living in halls really helped me (or forced me) out of my comfort zone and into the company of other people.

Some of my best social memories of uni were made through that route - though if your daughter is settled and 100% happy, I guess you'd have to respect that. Plus it's best in all honesty in the first year because after that people have their friendship groups and it can feel more isolating if you feel that your nose is being rubbed in your alone-ness, if that makes sense.

Report

Becca19962014 · 15/09/2018 22:19

It's likely she'd have struggled in halls.

I hated it, I let myself be pressured into hall in first and third year and didn't have any privacy at all. First year I lived with the warden for my block which meant it was slightly quieter but not by much (they were constantly away unless on duty) and was on the ground floor and constantly had drunk students hammering on my window and couldn't leave it open not to mention the student who kept pressuring everyone else to smoke pot. Third year was an utter disaster. Constant noise and problems (think I had to call the police so often I knew their names!) and I wasn't allowed to move without first finding some poor bugger to take my room and then there was a massive waiting list.

Not being able to rest on Fridays and Saturday nights at all really did my head in.p and I struggled massively with my mental health.

Both times I requested a "quiet hall" as did everyone else I was living with so that really did not work at all.

When I did my masters and professional degrees I stayed outside of hall and it was so much better, as I could socialise even and if I wanted or shut the world out - if she's not big on other people then all living in a confined space will do is likely cause her problems.

I've always been a "loner" and spent my entire life with people going on at me to change and be more socialable, fact is its who I am. If I had my time again I'd go with a studio.

Report

Becca19962014 · 15/09/2018 22:20

Decades later I'm still in contact with people I met at uni.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Email address

You've subscribed!

viccat · 15/09/2018 22:23

Nearly everyone in my flat and the neighbouring ones in halls was an exchange student from abroad and went home after a few months, and then we got another lot of exchange students in their place... And the few who were permanent students there, we didn't really connect enough to keep in touch. So I didn't end up making friends from my halls really. In my 2nd year I moved to a student village with studios.

I didn't particularly enjoy halls but it was the only year I've ever spent living in shared accommodation and in some ways it was a useful experience. I'm the same as your DD in that I really prefer my own company and de-stress away from people.

Report

museumum · 15/09/2018 22:24

Depends on so much. I did a very very male and rather “geeky” STEM subject. All my uni friends are from halls and in later years clubs but in first year it was halls.
But that’s probably not usual. I know others happily made many friends on their courses.

Report

feellikeanalien · 15/09/2018 22:26

My DN had a horrendous time living in shared accommodation in her first year. All her flatmates were party animals and really messy.

DN is not like that at all and actually changed uni at the end of her first year and moved closer to home so she could commute.

I think it really depends on who you share with.

I was in halls for my first year and loved it but I had my own room. There was only one shared room out of about 7 in the corridor.

Totally not related to this but the uni I was at also had a collegiate system and the design of my college was supposedly based on a Swedish prison!!!!