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To want to report this nursery?

(71 Posts)
Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 12:43:14

Witnessed some absolutely shocking behaviour today from staff of a nursery school on a group outing with the children. I’m a mum of 2 little ones and what I saw brought a tear to my eye, just imagining if they were my children being treated like that and I’d never have a clue. No idea of how to go about reporting this or what to do, but feel I must do something, any advice anyone? Thank you x

LaurieMarlow Fri 14-Sep-18 12:44:42

What were they doing? Hard to say if YABU or not without specifics?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Fri 14-Sep-18 12:48:50

Well it would depend on what they were doing surely? Its not unreasonable to report if you feel it necessary but it would be pretty tricky if you did not know which Nursery they were from. If you do know, I would imagine your first port of call should be to contact the manager.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 12:51:01

There children were all miserable and were being pulled along on wrist reins so not a nice general vibe but what bothered me most were the following:
Little girl didn’t want to leave the playground, aged about 2, one staff member said to the other ‘God, when is she 30 months?’ And other responded ‘I don’t want her’ really nastily.
Little boy about 3 asked to go for a wee, one staff member said to the other ‘oh he’s done this before and didn’t do a wee, let’s not bother’
Another little girl didn’t want to go back on the reins, staff member to her ‘well you’re never coming out with us again (name)’
It doesn’t seem so awful written down but the atmosphere was horrible with the staff only interacting with each other and barely the children. Maybe this is normal but I hope not!

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall Fri 14-Sep-18 12:53:37

I think you should report this to the nursery. Those poor kids are spending the majority of their waking hours with people who treat them as annoying inconveniences. Must be horrible. Do you know the name of the nursery?

ZanyMobster Fri 14-Sep-18 12:56:22

Reins totally fine and if that is their policy then should be enforced rather than the child deciding they don't fancy using them. Not sure about the rest, you have heard a snippet of a conversation and out of context.

I don't think there is anything there for you to report to anyone official but if you are genuinely concerned then you could contact the nursery manager.

Immigrantsong Fri 14-Sep-18 12:56:46

Ring Ofsted and tell them everything you said right here. I would also ring the nursery and tell them you have reported them too. The management needs to know their staff is neglecting and abusing kiddies. This isn't nice at all and you have a responsibility to vocalise it.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 12:56:48

Yes I do. So nursery manager best course of action do you think? Poor babies :-(

ZanyMobster Fri 14-Sep-18 12:57:45

I do agree with permanently but I still think there is not a huge amount to go on hence why report to nursery manager rather than Ofsted.

ZanyMobster Fri 14-Sep-18 12:59:34

I don't really think there is anything to report to Ofsted here. Have I misread, where is the abuse? Neglect possibly if not taking to the toilet but you really don't know the full situation here.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 12:59:54

I’ve googled the nursery, I just feel as a parent I’d be devastated if my little one was treated like this by someone I’d trusted with their care.

Hidillyho Fri 14-Sep-18 13:00:25

I think you would report to Ofsted

AamdC Fri 14-Sep-18 13:01:27

Do you know what Nursery it is? Speak to the manageer im guessing they wouldnt be wanting the attitude of their staff members to reflect badly wirh the general public! But regarding wrist straps its a safety measure better to have children on reins than under a car

LaurieMarlow Fri 14-Sep-18 13:01:28

Yes, report to nursery manager. Hard to tell how serious it is (may be just rogue members of staff) based on snippets.

MessyBun247 Fri 14-Sep-18 13:03:17

Report to manager and see what response you get.
I’d also be tempted to call social services and ask for advice. Just tell them exactly what you saw/heard.

Staff being so cold towards the children is horrible and if they are doing that in public, what are they doing behind the nursery doors where no one can see.

Littlefish Fri 14-Sep-18 13:04:47

I would phone the nursery manager and discuss it with them. If your discussion makes you feel that you are happy that they are going to act on what you've said, then leave it with them. I would hope that they would re-assure you that they will be taking your concerns seriously and discussing it with the staff members at the earliest possible opportunity.

If, at the end of the conversation, you are still left with concerns, then contact Ofsted.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:05:12

Yes I get it re the wrist straps, I think it was more how utterly miserable all the children seemed! I’m not saying the little girl shouldn’t have put the reins back on, at all, safety first, but the nastiness is saying she would never come out again?! Totally unnecessary. None of these children were older than 3/3.5

louise5754 Fri 14-Sep-18 13:05:53

I would speak to the manager too

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:06:13

I think you are right, thank you

Creeper8 Fri 14-Sep-18 13:06:20

please do report. thats awful.

Immigrantsong Fri 14-Sep-18 13:07:12

As an educator, if staff are that brazen in public and neglect the kids and are vocal and mean enough for people to hear and take notice, I would have serious concerns for abuse and safeguarding issues (as who knows how they act when completely alone with the kids). The neglectful behaviour is enough to warrant a call to Ofsted. Managers can be good and take action or bad enough to let this be forgotten and not dealt with. Please ring Ofsted too.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:08:14

Exactly! Without revealing too much detail, the nursery shares a premises with the public area they were in, so they weren’t totally out in public if you get me?! You can pay to access this specific area and they obviously use it daily (which is lovely in theory but not in this case!!)

Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 14-Sep-18 13:08:40

Well put it this way if it were my child/grandchild or nibling. I'd want someone to report it.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:09:08

I was with husband and kids and my husband heard it too and was equally shocked

RahRahRooRah Fri 14-Sep-18 13:09:30

Report it to the nursery manager

Then go back to the same place at the same time next - as they will probably have a schedule they stick to - and see if they are showing the same behaviour to the children

Film it if you can, it would at least show the body language towards the children even if you can't hear their words

I agree with other posts, these uncaring people may be the children's main carers, and that's just awful

Nesssie Fri 14-Sep-18 13:09:55

And other responded ‘I don’t want her’ really nastily. - Nobody else has been snippy about a customer? In the heat of the moment?

*he’s done this before and didn’t do a wee, let’s not bother’*- the child might be known for saying this, and not needing to go, thus wasting time?

well you’re never coming out with us again (name)’ - No parent has ever said 'if you don't behave we won't go'?

Honestly none of this seems that bad, and you only saw a brief moment.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:13:04

They aren’t ‘customer’s though are they, they’re babies.
When toddlers are toilet training they often have false alarms!
And with the last comment, of course, but the use of the word never and nasty tone makes a difference.

RahRahRooRah Fri 14-Sep-18 13:14:20

@nessie really? 😳

Not a customer - a toddler

Child may have undiagnosed cystitis, or apprehension about going to the loo - not unsurprising if the staff act like this

Parents may say 'you're not coming out again unless... put shoes on/reins on/coat on' etc, but this is perceived in a very different way to a nursery worker/teacher saying it. Parents (usually) show love and affection the rest of the time

mintich Fri 14-Sep-18 13:14:22

I would be furious if I found put nursery staff were talking about my daughter like that. Report them

RahRahRooRah Fri 14-Sep-18 13:14:50


Creeper8 Fri 14-Sep-18 13:16:53

*he’s done this before and didn’t do a wee, let’s not bother’*- the child might be known for saying this, and not needing to go, thus wasting time?


wtf, my dd always says she needs the toilet then doesnt go, she has asd, she gets the chance to use it every single time. It would never be refused.

Racecardriver Fri 14-Sep-18 13:17:00

I think the reins are a necessity. Yesterday I saw nursery children on a trip and each worker had two around age two with no safety restraints of any kind, just holding hands. I was a bit hmm not least of all because we love in Georgian Town where many footpaths are very narrows and traffic heavy. But the attitude is horrible. I wouldn't want my children treated like that. Definitely report.

ProfessorMoody Fri 14-Sep-18 13:17:02

Please report this. I'm a teacher and no professional adult should ever treat children like that.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:20:30

Thank you all, I will definitely be reporting.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:22:54

I wish I could go back same time next week, but it was a stop off on the way back from our holiday and about an hour and half away from where we live.

Fleetwoodmac2 Fri 14-Sep-18 13:24:06

OP, do you live in Suffolk?

PonderLand Fri 14-Sep-18 13:24:39

I also think you should report it. Maybe they need more help with the children when they're out, maybe they need to be better organised and take the children out in smaller more manageable groups. Either way the manager can put things into action that can stop this happening again.

My son is in nursery and we had problems with them a few weeks ago, I was worried about talking to the manager because I thought she'd brush it off but actually they have been really good and they put things in place straight away. Hopefully the manager at this nursery will be the same.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:24:53

No, Midlands

3stonedown Fri 14-Sep-18 13:25:36

I think you should report it to Ofsted too. Just because the nursery manager might not do anything either. There is one near me that's at the local farm. Anyway a friend found a child wondering around the farm alone in the nursery uniform so she took him to the nursery and the manager just said "ohh there you are, we've been looking for you". The farm isn't secure at all, he would only have to push a little gate to get out.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:25:47

I’m so glad @ponderland. Let’s hope so.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:27:14

What county @3stonedown?

3stonedown Fri 14-Sep-18 13:29:44

@Janeych Hampshire

Aeroflotgirl Fri 14-Sep-18 13:33:19

I would report it, the staff sound uncaring and nasty, I would not want my child in that kind of environment.

marmaladecats Fri 14-Sep-18 13:33:35

Please try and contact the nursery senior management. I'd be absolutely gutted if the staff at my kid's nursery were talking to them that way.

I know our nursery manager would be horrified to find out staff were talking to the children like this.

Almostthere15 Fri 14-Sep-18 13:34:20

I do think you need to speak to the nursery manager. I'd want to the manager of nursery to be receptive to feedback if staff were being unkind/impatient with my dc. Ultimately they are being paid and I expect them to be engaged and interested. I'd judge it more harshly than a parent having an off day and being tired.

I think wrist straps are fine btw, it's the attitude that isn't.
Depending on how the manager responds I'd consider notifying Ofsted.

twoundertwo54321 Fri 14-Sep-18 13:35:49

You should certainly report them to the manager as I'm sure the manager will want to know to deal with it accordingly that's not good at all.

raspberrycordial Fri 14-Sep-18 13:37:00

I reported a childminder to Ofsted and early years, they took it extremely seriously and Ofsted phoned her the next day to say they would be at her house for a visit within an hour. What I witnessed was along the same lines as what you saw, the lady at early years said "we all have a duty to the safeguarding of children" and very definitely told me I had done the same thing. I was distressed by watching this situation and wrote it down when I got home with all the emotive language I wanted to use and it I read it now it still makes me tearful. You are doing the right thing by reporting.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 13:41:51

Thank you so much @raspberrycordial. This is exactly the way I feel. I made sure as soon as we got in the car I made a note of all details, language used and descriptions etc so if I reported it it would be accurate.

showmeahero Fri 14-Sep-18 13:43:30

This makes me so sad, imagine if that was your DC that needed the toilet sadDefinitely report to the Nursery Manager or Senior, what do you have to lose?

Ngaio2 Fri 14-Sep-18 14:15:55

No harm done if there are no concerns found by Ofsted, but nursery manager will be more vigilant. Good practice to remind staff they need to observe safe keeping standards at all times because they never know who is looking.

Neverwrestlewithapig Fri 14-Sep-18 14:38:18

If it’s the nursery on a farm in the midlands that I know of then it’s part of a local chain so you could report it to their head office.

I would definitely report as although each incident may seem minor to some, it could be part of a bigger picture. Are the staff nurturing enough? Do they have enough support and training? You and I can’t answer that so you need to pass the concerns onto someone else who can.
Btw, if that was my child’s nursery then I would absolutely want you to report it.

Clandestino Fri 14-Sep-18 14:42:42

@Nesssie - customers? Toddlers? Are you serious? Also, how many false alarms can children have? They are still learning how to recognise their own needs when it comes to weeing etc. Of course they will have false alarms but they need to be taken seriously.

OP, please report this. I'd be horrified if someone treated my child like this.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Fri 14-Sep-18 14:45:10

The only problem with reporting it tonthr manager is that she might not actually care. The staff you witnessed obviously behave like this generally so imo think it's ok to do so. The manager might be of the same mindset.

Report to Ofsted.

Creeper8 Fri 14-Sep-18 14:48:06

I still cant believe a poster thinks its acceptable to refuse a 3 year old to use the toilet! even if he “does it all the time” its unnacceptable and neglect!

EricTheGuineaPig Fri 14-Sep-18 14:56:54

I'd report to the Nursery Manager in the first instance and see how they respond - if they seem disinterested or to be not taking it seriously then move on to Ofsted.

I'm a childminder and, yeah 2 and 3 year olds can be tricky and do your head in by refusing to leave places or asking for wees they don't need, but that's all part and parcel of the job. You absolutely do not show that you're feeling annoyed. An internal eye roll and a bright and breezy, 'are you sure you can't wait til we're back x?' is the way anyone remotely professional would deal with it.

PeaceRiot Fri 14-Sep-18 15:29:24

I would definitely report this to Ofsted (care commission if you’re in Scotland). They’ll work with the manager to address this. As you don’t use this nursery I don’t think it’s on you to go to the manager first and then try to determine if they’ve addressed the problem. The inspectorate will do that. What you describe does sound like a poor culture rather than just one ill thought out comment. I think that nursery needs intervention.

ZanyMobster Fri 14-Sep-18 17:16:37

Creeper - I don't think anyone actually thinks it's ok to not let them go to the toilet but the OP only has a snapshot of what has happened. They may have taken him 2 mins before, 2 mins before that and 2 mins before that. No one knows the full situation here, for all the OP knows they could have spoken to him about it, she has only mentioned that she heard them say to each other not to take him.

They absolutely shouldn't have spoken in the way they did and of course that needs addressing so a simple call to the nursery would suffice in the first instance surely and if there wasn't a satisfactory response then Ofsted is next port of call. None of us really know what has happened in full.

Aaaahfuck Fri 14-Sep-18 17:18:53

Report it to oftesd and the nursery manager it isn't good if they think this is OK!

MissusGeneHunt Fri 14-Sep-18 17:23:36

Just a thought - what happens if one of the staff members was the manager?

A report in writing cc'd into Ofsted and Early Years of the Council involved perhaps?

MissusGeneHunt Fri 14-Sep-18 17:24:21

Oh and a pp said 'film it' - probably not a good idea considering....

comeasyouare1 Fri 14-Sep-18 17:28:58

Ofsted. No question, all complaints are dealt with seriously and they will investigate

llangennith Fri 14-Sep-18 17:31:07

Surely the point isn't whether the kids didn't want to have wristbands on or that they didn't want to leave the area.
The attitude of the nursery staff, as evidenced by their comments, shows a complete disregard for the happiness and wellbeing of the children in their care. Those small children will sense their hostility and annoyance and I'd be reporting this to anybody and everybody asap.

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 18:13:43

@erictheguineapig I did wonder this about the manager. One of the more hostile-seeming staff was an older woman (not that ages has anything to do with anything) who seemed to have an air of thinking she was the boss, whether she actually was or not!

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 18:16:49

Thank you all so much for your comments. As someone said, if this was a nursery I was connected to, I would contact the manager. However, all things considered I’m going to report the facts exactly as I stated above to Ofsted and then leave it in their hands. It’s their area of expertise after all, not mine that’s for sure! As many of you have said, if I were a parent of one of those children, that’s what I’d want. It does kill me a bit that I can’t find the actual parents and suggest they move their babies elsewhere ASAP!

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 18:18:16

@neverwrestlethepig this wasn’t a Midlands nursery, I’m from there but we were passing though this area on the way back from a holiday

Janeych Fri 14-Sep-18 18:20:09

Sorry meant to tag @missusgenehunt re manager comment!

MissusGeneHunt Fri 14-Sep-18 18:26:06

@Janeych - no worries! Good on you for being vigilant - if my son had of been one of those children I'd be pleased that you'd taken action!

3littlebadgers Fri 14-Sep-18 18:30:51

I'm a nursery teacher. Reporting is absolutely the right thing to do. The language we use should make a child feel valued regardless of the circumstances. The behaviour the staff in the op displayed would have automatically rendered them as unsatisfactory in a SSTEW inspection.

MissContrary Fri 14-Sep-18 18:52:22

Hmm, if all the staff were acting like that I wouldn't be confident the manager will be any better.

ZanyMobster Fri 14-Sep-18 19:20:37

Didn't even think about one of them being the manager, looking at it that way reporting to Ofsted is probably the only thing you can do really.

Slipp3rs Fri 14-Sep-18 19:35:06

Definitely report.

Years ago I when I was a first time
Mum I was at a soft play centre and there were some childminders. I was shocked at there lack of care or responsibly. The children where bullying each other and the childminders were sat drinking coffee.

I’ve never forgiven myself for not saying something to them or reporting them.

Felt so sorry for the children they were looking after especially the younger ones.

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