I'm not trying to be woo, but I have this weird ability to know when something is not quite right. For the past year, maybe more, I've had a sick feeling in my stomach about my marriage. I even had 2 panic attacks out of NOWHERE, so I went to the doctor and they prescribed medication. The anxiety is not going away though and this feeling of something being wrong is not going away.<br><br>On the outside, my marriage looks great. My husband is very cuddly and loving. Very playful. Tells me he loves me all the time. It's just that...<br><br>I found a hidden phone in his old winter coat pocket in his wardrobe. It has a selfie of him in the gym as the wallpaper. It's clearly not a work phone as he has a work phone that he leaves lying around and it has no wallpaper as it has to be professional. I cannot get into this new phone. Tried passwords, but cannot figure it out. I have put it back. It has a fair amount of battery charge.<br><br>I also found a wrapped box which had a brand new bracelet in it. I wonder if this was supposed to be a present for his mum? But it has two hearts on it...bit romantic looking. It's fucking cheap looking though. It can't be for me...I have no birthday coming up, nor does his mum.<br><br>Other things before today:<br><br>1. For the past year, but especially last 6 months, he has been obsessed with going to the gym. Obsessed. Sometimes twice a day.<br>2. He can't have sex with me. Can't get hard. Doesn't want me. We have sex maybe once every 2 or 3 months and even then I can tell he is trying really hard to not lose his erection.<br>3. Decided he wanted to start using condoms with me. Even though we barely have sex and he has been comfortable with 'pull out' for 5 years. Don't get me wrong, he is right - but why condoms all of a sudden. I said I would go on the pill but he insisted on condoms.<br>4. I got the contraceptive implant, wondering if his lack of interest is because he is scared to get me pregnant. Still no interest.<br>5. If we argue he immediately says he wants a divorce.<br>6. He never contacts me during the day when he is at work. <br>7. I found a mid-length blonde hair on his clothes yesterday. He shrugged it off. <br>8. The other day I came downstairs at night when he thought I was in the bath. He freaked out and hid his phone. (He never does this). His excuse was that he just jumped. But no, because he hid the screen as an after thought to the jump iyswim. He refused to show me his phone.<br>9. He is very, very private. He always has been. In the past when we were dating I found messages he was sending to another woman. He apologised, but ever since then he has been vigilant with his passwords. I have no access to emails, nothing. <br><br>Now this secret phone.<br><br>What. The. Fuck. Do. I. Do?<br><br>if I confront him, he will get angry and there will be an incredibly aggressive fight. (He has never hit me). But he will go from 0-100 real quick and leave.<br><br>We have a 4 year old child.<br><br>What do I do with the secret phone? I've put it back and am thinking of keeping a diary of how often it's not in his pocket. I have taken a photo of the phone itself.<br><br>If he is having an affair I am just so fucking annoyed. I am still attractive, I am slim, I am smart. I know I'm not hideous. I'm the perfect wife. I never nag, I do all the housework, I work...I don't mean to brag.<br><br>Sorry if this whole message is grammatically incorrect. I'm shaking as I write this.