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Would you ask a dc if they were OK?

(81 Posts)
Aprilshowersnowastorm Fri 14-Sep-18 11:30:08

My dd nearly 12 was walking back from a friend's the other day and a hornet had landed on her hand and stung her. Sting was still in, little bit of blood but she was very upset.
We live in a busy but small touristy place, friendly locals.
Nobody asked her if she was OK.
Not really surprised, just wondering if you would approach a dc or just look away?
Back in the day (1970's)I fell off a wall I had been walking along, alone and about 7, cut my fanjo enough it was bleeding badly, and a man walked me home!! Def sure that wouldn't happen today!!
At the park /zoo places I have assisted a lost dc but never in public tbh.

JacquesHammer Fri 14-Sep-18 11:43:47

Yes I would but I can see why people wouldn't.

Dancer12345 Fri 14-Sep-18 11:53:54

Yes, I like to think I also would. Last year I was at the beach at the water’s edge, and a little toddler came along and started wading in - no adult nearby! I asked him where if someone was with him, where mummy/daddy was etc, but at the same times was mindful that, whilst hopefully most people would be grateful, some might have come along and had a go at me. Sad really. My main concern was the child’s safety though.

Creeper8 Fri 14-Sep-18 11:55:13

No I wouldnt.

HereBeFuckery Fri 14-Sep-18 12:06:55

Yes, I do, frequently! Mainly because mine is 4, so I'm around littles a lot and they trip over a lot! I once asked a school aged boy if he was okay, as he looked lost and no parent near by, turned out he hadn't been collected (aged 11), so I walked home with him.
I find when I do, having DD close helps as I'm clearly a mother, so kids feel less nervous and other parents 'get' that I'm helping, not being a weirdo.
Why wouldn't you?

Fizzyhedgehog Fri 14-Sep-18 12:11:48

I was in a playroom at a restaurant with my little boy and a small girl fell off the climbing frame in there. There was no parent about. I just picked her up, carried her out into the restaurant part and we looked for her mum. I'm hoping someone would do the same for my DS. DH said he wouldn't have done it. 🤷‍♀️🙁 He's a nursery teacher. I guess it's different for a man in a "professional" capacity and out and about privately.

arwenearlythereyet Fri 14-Sep-18 12:13:28

I definitely would.

I have reunited lost DC with their DPs in supermarkets, walked a neighbourhood kid home when he was upset (told me he was being bullied and was too scared to go up a certain street that day).

I have also had some frankly 'wtf' moments where I feel like a completely nosy interfering old woman/abductress.

But what are the options? Leave a child crying? Leave a toddler wandering alone? I'd rather be an idiot most of the time.

Creeper8 Fri 14-Sep-18 12:14:37

Well it would be quit e alarming if a parent spotted their child being picked up by someone and walking away. I definitely wouldn't have done that

Mumof4under10 Fri 14-Sep-18 12:14:43

I would ask. Have done many a time on the walk home from school when kids are around. I would hope someone would check on one of my children if they were distressed or anything aswell.

Spreadingcudweed Fri 14-Sep-18 12:15:58

Of course!

Found a tiny child wandering quite a long way along a path away from the children's area of a large city park, no parents in sight, took her by the hand and delivered her back. She had somehow got through two safety gates! Had to shout to ask assembled parents if anyone had lost a child. A mother eventually came forward, didn't seem that bothered!

Found a little boy crying in a corridor at church. (The small children are taken out of mass during part of the service for stories and colouring etc) and he had somehow got left behind. Delivered him to right area.

I hope anyone would do the same if it had been my child in a similar predicament.

Idontbelieveinthemoon Fri 14-Sep-18 12:16:56

I would. But I teach reception and volunteer with Scouts so am generally quite happy in the company of children. I totally understand why people don't, though.

UnicornSparkles1 Fri 14-Sep-18 12:17:28

I would. Most definitely.

I have reunited a lost crying child with their parent in a softplay and wouldn't hesitate to ask any upset/lost looking child if they're okay.

oldgimmer78 Fri 14-Sep-18 12:19:07

A visibly distressed child, yes I would.

ThreeAnkleBiters Fri 14-Sep-18 12:19:54

I would but I can see why you might be nervous about approaching a child you don't know.

Batteriesallgone Fri 14-Sep-18 12:26:28

Someone of any age, if I saw them unconscious, bleeding heavily etc I’d stop and help.

A small child (under 10) on their own - id stop and ask after their parents etc. I wouldn’t touch them. I’d try and engage them in conversation, keep them safe and away from roads etc, and probably call 111 after a couple of minutes if no distressed adult appears.

A girl of 12, no visible or severe injury, crying, walking with purpose as if she’s going somewhere - no I wouldn’t stop. Just as I wouldn’t stop a grown woman. Could be an entirely personal reason for the crying. Sorry but once they get old enough to be places unsupervised I tend towards treating them as an adult unless they are in a dangerous situation.

Holidayfromreal Fri 14-Sep-18 12:29:14

I would absolutely ask if they were ok or needed any help getting somewhere

SneakyGremlins Fri 14-Sep-18 12:30:56

I'm a man so sadly no. Too worried of it being seen as dodgy.

livingontheedgeee Fri 14-Sep-18 12:32:25

It's a sad world we live in when people have to be cautious about helping a child in distress because of the potential consequences to them. Of course someone should ask if she's ok ffs. I tripped over in the street the other day (wearing shoes I just had to have but knew they were an accident waiting to happen!) Everyone walked round me like I had some infectious disease they didn't want to catch - except an old gentleman, about 80 years old who offered to help me up. Wish we could all go back to being normal without the fear of being arrested or sued.

FanWithoutAGuard Fri 14-Sep-18 12:32:32

Yes I would (and if I was out with mine I'd probably have some kind of mini first aid kit I'd be happy to share too).

I was at a hotel once, when a toddler (about 2 - really young) wandered out into the car turning circle. Being careful not to scare him so he ran, I sent my eldest in to tell reception as I tried to shepherd him back to the hotel.

BigSandyBalls2015 Fri 14-Sep-18 12:33:14

My DD was on her scooter going down a hill when she was about 9, fell off and skid part of the way on her face ...... people walked by her! shock

madeoficecream Fri 14-Sep-18 12:34:18

Under 10 then yes.. severe injury or distress then yes. And if anyone looked very lost or confused.
But not a 12 year old girl crying a bit and clearly going somewhere, no.
I used to cry loads about all sorts of stuff when I was 12 and idve been mortified and possibly terrified if a stranger came and asked me if I were okay....

GreatDuckCookery Fri 14-Sep-18 12:34:46

Yes absolutely. I asked a woman in Sainsbury's if she was ok the other day as she was stood with her head back dabbing her eyes. Turns out she was putting in eye drops (!) and was fine but at first sight I thought she was about to faint!

AlexanderHamilton Fri 14-Sep-18 12:36:59

A man helped my ds and asked if he was OK when another child pushed him on the floor and tried to kick him on the way home from school. He scared the other child off then phoned school.

Pashazade Fri 14-Sep-18 12:37:24

Yes it's basic compassion half the time especially if the child is really upset. I climbed onto a climbing frame/fort to comfort an hysterical child because the other kids were all stood not being able to play he was sat in the middle of the trampette thing. He just needed help calming down mum rocked up not long after.

JustDanceAddict Fri 14-Sep-18 12:37:44

I ‘found’ a boy in the supermarket and took him to the desk so they could tannoy the dad. He was not particularly grateful.
I would prob go up to a 12 yr old girl if crying on own but depends on circumstances. She may have been just walking and sniffing - not wailing - in public.

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