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AIBU?

Flying at 34 weeks...

64 replies

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 08:22

Mum wants to take me on a last minute holiday before baby arrives. I'll be 34+1 when we leave and 34+6 when we get back. Doctor happy to sign it off. Mum is also a medical professional.

DP is the only person pushing back. Scared I will go in to labour 5 weeks early and he will miss the birth.

I'm desperate to go. I have insurance. We would be flying somewhere short haul and with good medical provisions.

Would you go and do what YOU want to do and grab your last minute holiday (which is much wanted and needed) or would you do what DP wanted you to do and stay home (to alleviate his fears and help him stay calm towards the birth).

Not saying either is right or wrong, just want opinions... WIBU to go away?

OP posts:

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JagerPlease · 14/09/2018 08:58

I would go

AllyMcBeagle · 14/09/2018 09:00

I am 36 weeks pregnant and was planning on travelling within the UK this weekend (only a couple of hours by car) but ended up calling it off because:
A) I ended up with weird feet/hand/face a few days ago so had to spend several hours in hospital being monitored and
B) DH is worried the baby will come early (he was going to come with me just in case but it wouldn't have been easy to take the birth bag with us or indeed to get the newborn baby home if he had been born elsewhere as they aren't supposed to be in car seats for too long).

So not exactly the same position as you but I'm erring on the side of caution in the end and staying home. On the one hand it's a bit frustrating as the birth is still probably a month away, but I'm happy in the end because I know if the baby comes early or I have any further medical conditions I can get to the hospital where I am booked in quickly.

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 09:06

Thanks both.

I'm not worried about baby coming. If it happens it happens. I'm not worked about babies safety as I'm very low risk and as I said, travelling with medical professional and in a country where healthcare is great (and I'm insured up to my eyeballs!).

I literally wouldn't be flying simply so I can keep DP happy and not have to worry about him worrying (making me feel bad etc).

I really want to go.

Feeling torn...

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justilou1 · 14/09/2018 09:06

I was a flight attendant for more than ten years. Never had anyone go into labor on a flight. (*disappointed - had my own catcher’s mitt an’ all!)

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 09:08

@justilou1 haha! I know someone who was born over international waters! Not ideal but a fabulous story to tell (though hoping this doesn't happen to me if I do go!).

I think it's more likely to go in to labour whilst on holiday. I wouldn't mind SO much if it was on the flight on the way back as hospital is near the airport. Again, not ideal but it's more the few days in between.

I mean the chances of baby coming 5/6 weeks really are slim, right?

Man. Don't know what to do.

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allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 14/09/2018 09:09

Could you go away with your Mum, but just within the UK? That might be a good compromise

Pikehau · 14/09/2018 09:10

I’ve got 3 D.C. and I would have gone.

In fact the only “regret” I have about dc1 is that I wanted to do something and could t be bothered trying to persuade dh so I let it go but I do wish I had jus let done it!

Snoopychildminder · 14/09/2018 09:10

I wouldn’t go...but not because I was worried about going into labour, it would be because if my husband was back home worried sick I wouldn’t be able to relax. I think he is worrying unnecessarily but don’t disregard his opinion. Talk it through with him and hopefully alleviate some of his fears.

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 09:10

Just not the same going in the uk. Weather isn't exactly great is it!

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allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 14/09/2018 09:11

I literally wouldn't be flying simply so I can keep DP happy and not have to worry about him worrying

I think respecting your partner's concerns is a valid reason not to fly.

Kewqueue · 14/09/2018 09:12

What stage are you at now? I had an easy pregnancy until I was put on bedrest at 24 weeks. Would your insurance cover you if you couldn't fly?

AllyMcBeagle · 14/09/2018 09:13

I was trying to look up the stats and could only find this chart which doesn't even start until 35 weeks:
spacefem.com/pregnant/charts/duedate3.php

How strongly does your DP object? My DH is a massive worrier and is anxious about the birth anyway, so I was glad in the end not to give him something extra to worry about, even though it should have been fine.

I think in your case I would probably go if you want to. You'll be in safe hands with your mum.

YouFightLikeADairyFarmer · 14/09/2018 09:13

Can you share some stats about premature birth to reassure him how unlikely it is that you'll go into labour that early?

This suggests only 7% of babies in the UK are born before 37 weeks, and that will include twins/multiples and other complications of pregnancy - for a straightforward pregnancy the odds will be much lower.

I went to Spain about 33 weeks, it was lovely to have a bit of time to relax pre baby. Post baby holidays are very, very different.

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 09:14

@allthgoodusernamesaretaken yes which is why I'm asking. But there's a fine line between respecting his wishes and not going out of guilt. The chances of me going in to labour are really quite small, and there are ways I could probably alleviate his fears. It's about compromise isn't it. I respect my partner but won't just not go because he says no. If that makes sense...

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YouFightLikeADairyFarmer · 14/09/2018 09:14

Actual link I was referring to would be helpful...

www.tommys.org/our-organisation/why-we-exist/premature-birth-statistics

Shefliesonherownwings · 14/09/2018 09:14

Can you DP go with you so that if anything does happen he is there to help and he won't miss the birth?

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 09:17

Can't come with me. He has his leave saved for when baby is born. Also, it's a holiday with my mum. Would be a big weird if DP came (don't think he would want to!)

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HollyGoLoudly1 · 14/09/2018 09:18

Out of curiosity, who did you.mamage to get insured with? I went on holiday at 30 weeks and ended up paying a fortune for travel insurance with the only company I could find that covered that late, and even they cut off pregnancy cover at 34 weeks.

I'm kind of on the fence about your question - my DP was on holiday with me and I'm not sure I would have gone without him just in case. I'm a worrier though!

TheHauntedFishtank · 14/09/2018 09:21

Personally I wouldn’t do it. If the baby came early and had complications or you had a difficult birth it would be pretty shitty to be stuck there and then have to travel back. However my response is coloured by a complicated pregnancy, early delivery and subsequent recovery which was difficult enough when the hospital was 20mins away from home. Chances are you would be fine but bear in mind that when things go wrong they can go very wrong very quickly.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2018 09:23

Honestly I would say go and I had a 35 wheeker unexpectedly.

Doesn't sound like you're planning a few days trekking in Botswana so your know if you did deliver early baby would be safe. Assume you can speak the local language well enough?
Think it's a case of I know this is s art but it is also really important for me to take these last few days out before baby comes. It's more likely baby will be late than early and I will speak to you every day

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 09:23

I'm covered by bupa through my mum's work up to 36 weeks.

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HollyGoLoudly1 · 14/09/2018 09:27

Cheers, I'll keep Bupa in mind next time 👍

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Misty9 · 14/09/2018 09:31

I travelled to Spain to visit my mum at 34 weeks with dc2 and toddler ds. I was pregnant for another 8 weeks after that... I'd go and enjoy your last holiday doing what you want.

LeftRightCentre · 14/09/2018 09:33

I'd look at the airline's T&C.

LittleIsland · 14/09/2018 09:37

@LeftRightCentre we would fly with an airline that allowed travel up to 36 weeks, which a lot do. I'm carrying very small and very unlikely anyone would even notice. If they did I will have all of the available paperwork. We aren't worried about the nitty gritty etc as we have this all covered.

the only reason I'm considering not flying is to keep DP from worrying but would really, really love a holiday.

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