To be miffed that my "friend" refuses to call me by my name

[boterbier]

Disclaimer: I've got a fairly common, easy-to-pronounce name so it isn't a case of this individual being incapable of saying it or anything like that.

As it goes, said "friend" thinks my name is too feminine for me (bloody ridiculous) and has resorted to calling me either by my last name (weird) or a portmanteau of my first/last name (even weirder especially seeing as how this new creation is homophonous with my ex's name).

Told her to cut it out multiple times and all I get is a smug "trust me this suits you way better you'll see"!

AIB petty or is she being a soggy nugget?

[MrsMozart]

She's being incredibly rude.

Stop responding to her.

[noobs18]

Grr, I used to have a friend who refused to use my chosen name. Drove me up the wall. In the end I refused to respond unless she used my chosen name, she chose to end the friendship. Yanbu, I think it's really disrespectful

[ButchyRestingFace]

Not just rude but weird.

Obviously models her respect for boundaries on Donald Trump.

[argumentativefeminist]

Love soggy nugget. But yeah, she's being really bloody rude, especially with the ex thing. She has no right to tell you that your name doesn't fit with your identity, which is what she's doing. I'd go harder on the "I find this genuinely offensive and upsetting" line rather than just "cut it out, I don't like the way it sounds", but maybe you've tried that already!

[CSIblonde]

That's disrespectful & really a massive put down that your name doesn't suit you, you aren't feminine etc. She's a frenemy not a friend. Make it clear that's how you feel and I'd lessen my time with her. An affectionate nickname now & then, thats fine. This isn't the same.

[JungWan]

i would hate that!

I want to be the one who controls what my name is!

I used to work with a woman many years ago and we had the same name which bothered her so much more than it bothered me. Supposing the name was Julia......... SHe insisted on telling me I could be Julie. I said nope that's not the same. She said but I'm Julia, there's already a Julia. Ridiculous. I told her I didn't mind be one of two Julias or one of five Julias but it was my name and I wasn't changing my name to spot the dog for her. Really WEIRD!! She tried to get that ball rolling on my name being Julie. I just wouldn't allow it to float. So cheeky to try and change somebody else's name I think!

[boterbier]

I'd go harder on the "I find this genuinely offensive and upsetting" line

I'd actually tried something very similar to this the other day and got told to lighten up! Cue the next day and was promptly informed by the crunchy pasta that she had thought about it and came to the conclusion that my name really didn't suit me at all. Would've gone full NC from pure irritation if it weren't for the fact that I have to face her 4/5 times a week.

I mean, how bloody difficult is it to call someone (and refer to that someone when talking to others) by their actual name!

[BillywilliamV]

Id start calling her something totally random and see how she likes it. She sounds like a complete fruitloop!

[TheFaerieQueene]

Play her at her own game and call her something equally ridiculous until she behaves like a decent person.

[Veterinari]

The by you red ton be era really urn with we. Sge’s Not a friend. Bugger her if she gets upset. Just tell her firmly that it’s incredibly patronising and arrogant of her to decide that her own viewpoint on your name is more important than your own. Your name is X and that is how she is to refer to you if she wants you to respond. Otherwise she’s free to stop interacting with you

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

Someone chose to end the friendship rather than use your name, noobs?
Is it a name you’d be embarrassed using in public?!!

[Veterinari]

Blood you hell - sorry no idea what happened to that first sentence! Should read: Then you need to be really firm with her

[DeusEx]

Why do you have to see her? This is madness!

[MrsMozart]

Start calling her the names you've come up with on here

Have a bit of variety - today she's Soggy Noodle, tomorrow it's Crunchy Pasta, and so on and so forth, limited only by your own imagination Your friends will son get the hang of it.

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

Why do you have to meet this loon several times a week?
She’s a rude, ignorant idiot.

[sirmione16]

I'd be bloody fed up and probably turn around to her and say bluntly that she's being rude and disrespectful and ask her what bloody right does she think she has to choose what you get called? I'd inform her it's not funny or a light hearted matter and that she should really buck her ideas up.

Probably with a few more choice words thrown in. Don't let her push you around OP she sounds like she's either stupidly naive and an air head to not pick up on the fact you're serious that it's not right, or she's plain narcissistic in thinking her opinion of your name is of most importance. Cut her down to size.

[MiddleClassProblem]

I’d ca her something embarrassing back.

It sounds like you work with her so I’d see how far you can push it without it being work inappropriate. I’ve had done creative jobs where you can be very inappropriate so I’d go whole hog.

[wowfudge]

Try calling her Arsehole as her actual name doesn't suit her and that's much more accurate.

[MiddleClassProblem]

Or just say you do t think her name suits her. She’s too bland for it. And then pick her a name that might be “bland” (mostly because you say it in a full bored voice the name itself is probably irrelevant).

[Petalflowers]

If she calls you by th made-up name, ignore her. If she asks why you are not responding to you, then say you thought she was talking to ‘insert made up name here’, and not ‘botter’. Hopefully she will get the message,

[9amtrain]

Call her something offensive for a name.

[GrumpyGoose]

She sounds like a cunt so I would probably just call her, and refer to her, as that

[inquiquotiokixul]

Call her by her new name that suits her personality so much better "Ms RudeAndDisrespectful CheekyMcCheekface" - I'm sure she will grow to like it once she gets used to it.

[sliceofcheese]

I'm chose a new name for her, something she will hate and parrot her own reasons back at her. That should do it.

[RomanyRoots]

just call he fruitloop that should do it.
In public you could introduce her as your friend fruitloop.