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Please settle this for me! DH doesn’t seem to see it!

(78 Posts)
Beargoesgrr Wed 12-Sep-18 22:11:10

Ok I’ll keep it short.

DH works freelance, shortish contracts. Each contract is paid on an hourly basis,
Every single contract is he works a day rate, overtime is the hourly rate added on for every hour of overtime.

DH is working 7 days per week. He is paid for those. DH should leave work at 5pm every day except Friday which he works until 11ish.

Every few nights, he strolls in between 7&8pm. His travel home is 25ish minutes from work.

he hasn’t bothered putting in for extra hours. Always has before.

He works until 11pm on a Friday night, but tonight he strolls in at 7pm, and he tells me he’s working till midnight tomorrow.

He refuses to accept that it seems very strange he’s doing all this overtime, for no financial gain at all.

I’m not accusing him, but I have said that’s the kind of dodgy shit that rings alarm bells of men having affairs... he’s offended at this notion.

Please, someone tell me- am I mental thinking this?!

I just don’t see it as believable, he isn’t even putting his extra hours on his invoices which he’s always done elsewhere.

It’s just set my spider senses tingling.

ChasedByBees Wed 12-Sep-18 22:12:46

Hmm. Why has he said he’s doing the extra time without charging?

butterflysugarbaby Wed 12-Sep-18 22:13:12

Are there any other signs of an affair?

Sneaking around, hiding his phone, smelling of perfume, chatting about a female colleague a bit much, keeping things like paperwork hidden and locked up etc???

ProcrastinatingPingu Wed 12-Sep-18 22:13:24

I’d be questioning his motives, and working to midnight seems a bit suspicious.

Beargoesgrr Wed 12-Sep-18 22:13:52

I will completely accept it if it’s an odd notion, but he isn’t the sort of man who likes to put in extra time at work unless he’s wanting extra money for something, and he rushes home to us, and now he’s working 70+ hours a week anyway, so I’d assume he wanted to be home all he could.

He isnt even invoicing for the extra hours, which makes me think that maybe he’s not even at work for the extra time.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Wed 12-Sep-18 22:15:08

I'm confused

He is doing the extra hours for an agreed hourly rate or for nothing?

Your OP seems to contradict itself

Directorofmishaps Wed 12-Sep-18 22:15:37

So he's working an extra 2-3 hours a night for 6 days a week completely free of charge and not invoicing them for the extra 12-18 hours a week?
That's like 72 hours.
I'm self employed and would find that very weird unless he was very scared of losing the contract.

Tasha32 Wed 12-Sep-18 22:15:38

Surely you'd want paying if doing the work and have got family to provide for.....Your right sounds a bit dodgy🤔

butterflysugarbaby Wed 12-Sep-18 22:16:20

So are there any other signs of an affair?

PurpleDaisies Wed 12-Sep-18 22:17:29

It sounds like you think it might be an affair. Do you have other reasons to suspect him?

Beargoesgrr Wed 12-Sep-18 22:17:42

No real reason, there’s a lot of waffling- but as we’re business partners I see his invoices etc, which are for a standard week, questioned about it, just more waffling.

He has spoken about a woman at work a fair amount, but he’s also been quite distant. He doesn’t have messages from anyone really but I’m struggling to tear him from the phone recently.

Exactly. The midnight out of the blue seems a bit too far for me. Had the hump this evening since he said it.

RandomMess Wed 12-Sep-18 22:18:27

I think your spider senses are correct...

ThePinkOcelot Wed 12-Sep-18 22:19:24

So he’s working all those extra hours for free? I would find that rather unbelievable tbh! I mean, why would anyone work 12-18 hours extra for free?

Bluntness100 Wed 12-Sep-18 22:19:39

Is there an element of he's not achieving what he should during the day so doing it into the evening?

He could be on the Internet or doing any sort of skiving, then just making up for it later.

Or he might be over committing on what he can achieve and falling short so having to work late for free?

JuniperBeer Wed 12-Sep-18 22:21:20

Is because he’s not being efficient with his time? So he’s spreading 8 hours worth of work out over 10? He doesn’t want to charge for them as it hasn’t actually taken him longer to do the work, he’s just been mucking around in the time he should have done it in?

Just playing devils advocate!

Luvly12 Wed 12-Sep-18 22:22:44

Hmmm ....
Apparantly working late
Distant
On the phone a lot
Woman from work
Taking the hump when you've asked him

My spidey senses say this reads like a mn manual on signs of cheating

hmm

KateGrey Wed 12-Sep-18 22:23:57

Are you sure he’s working the extra hours? That he’s not just telling you he is and that’s why he’s not billing the company for them? That maybe he’s off with this woman he’s spoken about. I think you’re right to be slightly wary.

Batteriesallgone Wed 12-Sep-18 22:25:05

So you’ve asked, as his business partner, for an explanation for the lack of invoicing and called it ‘dodgy shit’. He has then gone off in a huff and refused to discuss it, is that right?

Well he needs to discuss it with you, I would consider him not telling you his reasoning a breaking of trust. Damn right I’d be suspicious.

Beargoesgrr Wed 12-Sep-18 22:25:30

Sorry shagged, I read it back. It makes no sense to me even reading it back,

So he gets a day rate, I’ll say of £200 a day, over 10 hours.
Usually by the 11th hour he’s paid a flat rate of his hourly rate on top of his day rate, so £20 an hour. I hope I’ve done better at explaining it now... I do get a bit foot in the mouth and waffly! Sorry!

It’s not so much that I think he’s having an affair, I think he’s acting in a bit of a baffling way. I’m wanting to show him that it’s not just me who thinks it’s weird.

He hasn’t seemed to allow the conversation if that makes any sense. He just doesn’t see it being strange.

LuckyDiamond Wed 12-Sep-18 22:27:03

A contractor not charging for time?

Nope.

MacNcheese87 Wed 12-Sep-18 22:28:53

Dodgy as fuck.

MacNcheese87 Wed 12-Sep-18 22:30:11

Sorry, didn't mean to press send. And please excuse the swearing!

He's up to something OP. You just have to find out what it is.

5SecondsFromWilding Wed 12-Sep-18 22:30:28

If you're business partners, I'd say you have legitimate reason to really push him to bill for those extra hours, and even to backdate the billing for the last month or so. And I'd watch his reaction to this very, very carefully. And the client's reaction if he tries to brazen it out and bill them for time that, I'm very sorry to say, it doesn't sound like he's working.

TattyCat Wed 12-Sep-18 22:31:09

Your spidey senses are tingling for a very good reason. Don't ignore it but equally, don't jump on accusing him immediately. Is there any way you could surreptitiously check up on the Saturday night working, without it being an issue?

Having been through this, I'd be checking the hell out of it. Not charging significant hours if this is new behaviour is also another reason I'd be digging further.

Elephant14 Wed 12-Sep-18 22:32:11

I often charge a day rate. If I cannot complete the work in the number of days I said then that is my loss and I have to crack on and finish and take the hit. I do like the work so usually I don't worry about it.

Alternatively if I was asked to travel within the UK e.g, if I am flying from London to Scotland, again I just charge one day, I take the hit on the extra time (getting up at 5 and getting home at 10). Thats the nature of my work, again I don't usually worry about it.

Is that what is happening? If not, then yes it is baffling.

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