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Treating child on a harness, like a dog???

(245 Posts)
Damnivy Tue 11-Sep-18 21:27:56

So keep my 2 year old on a child harness if we are out and about. She doesn't like using a pram anymore. And loves to run off, or finds something she likes the look of and just stops moving! I have 4dcs and only had to use them with my youngest.
I have a 3 year old too and makes it hard when the youngest runs off as have to grab the 3 year old before I can go after her, as can't leave either unattended.
So the harness is safe and practical. Dd walks brilliantly whilst on the harness with no complaint.
So today while in town, a lady starts smiling at dd and saying hello! Innocent enough! But then walks over and tells me what a sweet child dd is, but she can't help but feel sorry for her being 'tied up'. And I should stop treating her like a dog!!!! Iv had a few people say in the past that they wouldn't use a harness as they feel like they are walking a dog ect..
So AIBU in using this as a safety precaution while trying to teach my dd road safety and to stop running off, or do I look as though I should be walking a dog? Did you use them/won't use them, or have any ideas of how to stop my child running off?

ShutUpBaz Tue 11-Sep-18 21:30:13

YANBU. My DD was a lightening-fast bolter and reins/wristcuff kept her close to me and away from roads.

Ignore the woman. She should have kept her comments to herself.

Creeper8 Tue 11-Sep-18 21:30:41

I JUSt cant use them. I hate them. I heard someone refer to a child on reins as “look that kids on a leash” dont like them personally.

Mabelface Tue 11-Sep-18 21:30:43

I used them and didn't give a monkey's chuff what other people thought.

abacucat Tue 11-Sep-18 21:30:50

I think a harness is great for kids. Gives them more freedom than tightly holding their hand all the time, and keeps them safe. I never understand any snobbery around this.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 11-Sep-18 21:31:07

I love reins on kids.
Much easier than trying to hold a squirmy hand

Moominfan Tue 11-Sep-18 21:31:17

Nothing like a dog, my dogs so much better behaved.

Namelessinseattle Tue 11-Sep-18 21:32:23

I wouldn’t tie her to a lamp post when you pop into the shops but other than that I think you’re grand.

Someone will be along with a killer line that’s you’ll be able to throw back to any unsolicited advice.

Maybe- “she is very sweet thank you, damnivy jr give the lady a paw, hand, I mean hand”

TooManyPaws Tue 11-Sep-18 21:32:34

They used to be far more common than now - my mother certainly had what were called reins for me in the 1960s and it wasn't unusual. I used to wonder why they disappeared.

Far safer than them slipping your grasp and running into traffic or even at worst being led away like poor James Bulger.

Lou573 Tue 11-Sep-18 21:32:54

Would have used them but mine just sat down on the pavement and refused to move every time I tried!

PaulHollywoodsSexGut Tue 11-Sep-18 21:33:07

As much as I utterly hate them to me they are a necessary tool I have to use so I can keep DD out of harms way as I also have an 11mo DS and where we live is BUSY.

I don’t use them 100% of the time, but definitely most.

That lady could totally have kept her trap shut, no fucking need. Parenting is hard enough.

CaveMaman Tue 11-Sep-18 21:33:27

I have one of those rucksacks with a "lead" on it. Never had any negative comments... quite the opposite in fact: most people who comment, say what a nice bag it is! (looks like a stegosaurus back iyswim)

OurMiracle1106 Tue 11-Sep-18 21:33:48

Better to put your child on a Harness than them run out in front of a car! IMO

Safety first always.

Idontbelieveinthemoon Tue 11-Sep-18 21:34:30

YANBU at all. DS1 was a bolter. I genuinely think that unless you've seen one in action you have no idea how quick they can move and how little time it can take for them to endanger themselves.

I didn't use it instead of rules like "you must hold hands going down stairs or crossing roads" - it was always as well as that. But tiny hands are slippery little things and in the time it takes to re-grip an escaping hand DS1 could have been in the middle of a road.

DS2 was a ploddy sort of little one and never needed reins because it just never occurred to him to bolt. But I'd never judge a parent who needed to use them. Far better to have an extra level of safety when you know your DC is prone to shenanigans.

moita Tue 11-Sep-18 21:34:32

Ignore her. I use reins on my DS if we are anywhere near cars. He's a bolter and I usually have my 3 month old DD in a sling so l'm not as fast as I'd usually be. He also hates the pram and the reins give him freedom while insuring he doesn't get run over.

We can still teach road safety but toddlers are impulsive little things. I'd tell them to mind their own business but I've never had a negative comment about them and have many friends who use them - your encounters show that some people need to wind their necks in

Cakefairy1978 Tue 11-Sep-18 21:34:42

I used them and don't give a crap what people say. It's safety and he's so fast esp when out with grand parents

BunsOfAnarchy Tue 11-Sep-18 21:34:51

Ridiculous comment for her to make.

Dogs are on a leash for other peoples/dogs safety.
Toddlers are in a harness for THEIR OWN safety.
Tell that to the next idiot who makes that comment.

randomsabreuse Tue 11-Sep-18 21:35:38

I hate holding hands with any child whose shoulder is lower than my hand when I stand up straight. Hurts my back and can't be comfortable for child. So I used reins and will definitely use them for my next child.

Also good for allowing more low risk balance practice

pickingdaisies Tue 11-Sep-18 21:35:46

Ds slipped from my grasp one time age 3, it was reins all the way after that. Until he got to uni 😂

MaryShelley1818 Tue 11-Sep-18 21:35:50

We’ve just bought 9mth old DS some reins!
If it keeps him safe (he doesn’t quite need them yet but will do soon) then I couldn’t care what anyone says.

Prestonsflowers Tue 11-Sep-18 21:36:05

I thought about James Bulger too.

Needlemaker Tue 11-Sep-18 21:36:13

Dd2 just turned 2 is hearing impaired and as stubborn as a mule if she wants to run in front a truck that's what she'll do unless physically restrained
we've had a few dog comments I'd much rather my kid was alive at the end of the day than listen to what the idiots say, anyway my gsd walks so much nicer on his harness than dd2

Mumof4under10 Tue 11-Sep-18 21:36:39

We walk by a busy main road to nursery and the isn't a chance I would like to walk my 2 and half year old down there with out her reins on. If she was to run off I would never forgive myself. Better for them to be safe. Hers is a backpack style one and she loves it. Even tho at home the children do like to put them on and pretend to play doggies lol. grin

corythatwas Tue 11-Sep-18 21:36:40

So what are your options?

Not restraining her at all may well result in her getting killed- how can people think that is better?

Holding her tightly by the hand gives her less freedom of movement- why is that better?

Keeping her permanently in the buggy, like a friend of mine did, means she misses out on exercise- what's so great about that?

I had one of those children who throw themselves down on the pavement in a tantrum: a harness felt far safer than holding her by the hand, less risk of dislocating her shoulder.

UghFletcher Tue 11-Sep-18 21:36:59

I use them on my DS who is 2, lightning fast and ultimately wriggly. I don't give a toss what other people think of them. It's for his own safety

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