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Any cringe-worthy DC moments?

(93 Posts)
l0stmummy Fri 07-Sep-18 12:52:57

Just that really?

Yesterday we went to visit SIL who lives by the sea. We all went to the arcades. We were all having a lovely time and DD was enjoying all the lights and music. As DH was playing on one of the machines, somebody came and started playing on the one next to us. I was stood between the two machines with DD in my arms looking towards the other person. Out of nowhere she projectile vomited cauliflower cheese all over the man and his machine. Safe to say after apologising a million times and paying him to get his clothes cleaned, we sped out of there!

Honestly need to know it's not just me.😂😂

PhilomenaButterfly Fri 07-Sep-18 12:54:13

Oh dear. flowersgin

jjemimapuddleduck Fri 07-Sep-18 12:54:59

At the pool and an overweight 10 year old walks past.

DS age 4: "Why is that boy so fat?"

He would never say that now. We've obviously taught him since about personal comments!

iklboo Fri 07-Sep-18 12:59:18

At a huge wedding, waiting for the entrance of the bride & groom. DS was about five and said he needed the toilet so DH took him.

They came back after a few minutes and DS loudly announced: IT'S OKAY MUMMY. I DIDN'T NEED A POO AFTER ALL. IT WAS JUST A BIG TRUMP!

Just as the whole room had gone silent to welcome the happy couple. blush

l0stmummy Fri 07-Sep-18 12:59:22

@jjemimapuddleduck oh no!! Thats terrible but I can't help but giggle blushgrin

Sirzy Fri 07-Sep-18 12:59:40

I have had a fair few with ds. The “best” was probably a couple of years back in a hospital waiting room, very poorly gentleman wheeled through towards X-ray ds said “mummy is he dead? If he isn’t he will be soon” blush

l0stmummy Fri 07-Sep-18 13:00:34

@iklboo haha what a welcome grin

Idontbelieveinthemoon Fri 07-Sep-18 13:01:19

DS1 has ASD and as a little boy had a few "arrrgh" moments where he simply said what he saw (he'd be amazing on Catchphrase). My favourite was when we went to the dentist and the dentists assistant was a lovely young woman I'd been chatting to and DS1 lay back in the chair, opened his trap and as the assistant leaned over him, he poked her in the mole that was next to her eye and said matter-of-factly "well, I thought that was a coco pop but it's stuck to your face".

He's grand now, but I used to dread when older ladies would stop and chat to him in supermarkets because you never knew what would come flying out to make me want to vomit in shame. He did once shout "help me, help me" in a supermarket as I walked away to pick something up. I ignored him because he was just being a fool, but an older lady walking by said to him "are you alright young man?" and he replied "No, I've been stolen, stolen away". I went over and explained that he belonged to me, the lady said to DS1 "oh, is this your Mummy?", he looked me dead in the eye and replied "Oh no, that's not her, I don't know her".

I spent the next 15 minutes being followed up and down aisles by the old lady, and being given shifty glances. If I was going to steal a 4 year old it would have been better behaved than that one.

l0stmummy Fri 07-Sep-18 13:02:41

@sirzy oh my! Gotta love kids!

PhilomenaButterfly Fri 07-Sep-18 13:06:15

Walking upstairs in Hamleys in London behind a man with a prosthetic leg.

DS then 5, in a voice you could've heard in Newcastle: "THAT MAN'S GOT A ROBOT LEG!!!!" blush

sockunicorn Fri 07-Sep-18 13:46:18

When my DD was around 4 a little girl started in her nursery. She was cross eyed with milkbottom glasses that made her eyes look bigger, red hair that her mother tied up in a pineapple style on top of her head and a big gummy smile.

My DD was so excited about having a new friend to play with that, upon throwing open the nursery door into the hallway (where a good 10 parents were stood along with staff, new girl and her DM) and setting eyes on her, my DD clapped her hands to her mouth, squealed with happiness and squealed “oh mummy!!! She’s so funny looking, I love her!!! She will make a good friend. Shall we take her home?”. Then ran at her and gave her a massive hug 😳😳😳

honeylulu Fri 07-Sep-18 13:51:26

At my brother in law's funeral, MIL had insisted she wanted her grandchildren to attend (otherwise i would not have brought or son then aged 3).
We explained to him in advance that Uncle Rob had died, everyone was very sad and when they brought in his body it would be in a box etc. He seemed to understand.
Anyway, in the chapel, sombre music playing and just before the coffin started coming up the aisle he suddenly said loudly "when's the bride coming in?" and everyone started giggling including MIL and FIL.
Mortified.

daughterofanarchy Fri 07-Sep-18 14:03:51

Oh honeylulu,
That story made me belly laugh on what has been a tiring day. Thanks for sharing!

Urubu Fri 07-Sep-18 14:05:33

DH sleeping on the couche, I am on the floor playing legos with the DC. I let a fart out. DD4 «mum, why didn’t you say sorry?»
DH wasn’t sleeping after allas he started laughing blush

Picklypickles Fri 07-Sep-18 14:28:18

My 4yr old seems to be on a mission to embarass me at the moment! He hates anyone walking behind him and has a habit of turning around and angrily shouting "STOP FOLLOWING ME" to random strangers on the street. We were in the waiting area in specsavers a few weeks ago and a lady smiled at him, he scowled and loudly said "Mummy that lady is looking at me, I don't know these people why are they looking at me?" He has also been known to poke people sitting in front of him on the bus.

SharpLily Fri 07-Sep-18 14:34:34

Reguarly at the moment, "Mummy has a hairy bum". I'm pregnant and grooming my pubes is not my top priority right now blush.

HushAByeBaby Fri 07-Sep-18 14:35:38

This is an extremely awkward one but DD2 seems to be scared of anyone of a different race. Particularly people wearing a burka, but generally runs away from people of other ethnicities. It is extremely embarrassing and sometimes she's made it blatantly obvious. Hoping she'll grow out of it soon 🙏🏼

HushAByeBaby Fri 07-Sep-18 14:36:30

She's not long turned 2.

Elementtree Fri 07-Sep-18 14:42:49

grin Prickly, the angry "Stop following me" thing made me laugh. That's hilarious. Does anyone say anything back?

amilosingitor Fri 07-Sep-18 14:42:48

@HushAByeBaby this reminds me of my mum telling me that as a child I was scared of men I didn't know, and when dropping me off at a school friends birthday party at their home she enquired if the boys dad would be home to which the mum assumed the issue was because his dad was black blush my mum was mortified but no amount of explaining could make this woman believe her!

Dunkling Fri 07-Sep-18 14:43:41

DS1 about 3 years old, standing with me in a lift when a black man gets in on the next level. He stares at the man for what feels like an age before announcing "Mummy, why has that man got a dirty face?" We had a long talk after that!!

DD about 5 years taken to a schoolfriends birthday party by her dad. We'd had lunch out earlier and I'd had a small wine, and me having a zero alcohol policy, DH said he'd drive her over. On arriving middle of day and friends mum greeted her, DD announced Daddy had brought her as "Mummy's drunk" (wine). Oh the shame.

Picklypickles Fri 07-Sep-18 14:49:42

Elemttree - he shouted it at a man at a crowded event one night, the man seemed a little shocked and asked me what my son had said, I apologized profusely and explained he has a weird fixation about being followed to which the guy turned to my son and said "unlucky". Usually though people just laugh at the funny little shouty goblin child!

Tinty Fri 07-Sep-18 14:52:34

My DC have done this to me a lot.

I was walking along a beach when my DS who was two at the time, said to me "mummy why has someone drawn all over that man lying there?"

The second time I was at a family barbecue and my slightly older cousin about 30 came over and DS aged 3, asked, "why does John have a crow bar in his eyebrow mummy?" I was quite impressed he knew the words crow bar. grin.

The third time, 2 year old DD was obsessed with Halloween.. We were in Sainsburys and there was a woman in a long black coat with long hair and DD said out loud, "look mummy a witch". I had to stop her from going to ask the witch if she had a black cat and broomstick.

The fourth time, I was in a lift with DS aged 3 and 3 other people, he said to me in a big loud voice, "mummy is that a man or a woman?" Two awkward lift stops later, before we could all get out

RhiWrites Fri 07-Sep-18 15:23:26

@tinty

The third time, 2 year old DD was obsessed with Halloween.. We were in Sainsburys and there was a woman in a long black coat with long hair and DD said out loud, "look mummy a witch"

If this was about 15 years ago in Oxford, I promise I wasn’t offended. grin

Aprilshowersnowastorm Fri 07-Sep-18 15:27:36

Sat at mil with her mil and other relatives awaiting a call from the hospital as dgfil was ill with pleurisy, ds newly toilet trained still liked someone to go with him, fil offered as he needed it also.
Ds comes downstairs announcing dgf had a big willy but not as big as his df's.
Oh I wished I was anywhere but there!
Nobody so much as grinned.

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