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To wonder why he asked my dd where her mum is

(32 Posts)
Moomoo06 Sun 19-Aug-18 08:05:49

To cut a long story short we went on holiday to majorca, just me, my dd and my sister. When we checked in we were all very tired after being delayed and getting to our hotel later than expected (it was 1am, we’d expecting to arrive about 10-11pm) so we just really wanted to get our room key and go to bed. The hotel manager who was checking us in was doing the usual checking of passports etc, and he looked up and said to my dd ‘where is your mum?’ she was rather tired and just said ‘there’ and pointed at me. The manager then looked at me, laughed a little and said ‘I know I know’ confused Don’t know whether I’m making something out of nothing but I just thought it was all a bit odd, and quite rude to be honest. I probs look younger than I am and I did have my dd young (I’m 29 and shes 11) but he had our passports so could see my date of birth, so I don’t know whether he was insinuating I’m too young to be a mum to an 11 year old and wondering where dd’s mum was, I don’t know, like I say it just all seemed a bit odd

BIWI Sun 19-Aug-18 08:09:32

What on earth are you worrying about that you need to post this once you've got back from your holiday?!

Go and buy today's paper and start to have a worry about real things that are happening in the world.

(Unless this is a stealth boast about how young you are/look, of course?)

Pittcuecothecookbook Sun 19-Aug-18 08:10:01

What do you think he meant by asking?

Kintan Sun 19-Aug-18 08:10:06

Was it a clumsy attempt at flirting? You know like when people pretend they think a mother is her daughter’s sister?

Ullupullu Sun 19-Aug-18 08:10:53

He was checking the kid had a guardian with her. You are incredibly young to have an 11 year old so it's not unlikely he was checking your story. Good for him.

Crunchymum Sun 19-Aug-18 08:11:17

I mean this in the nicest possible way but you are seriously overthinking this.

I can't imagine this would even register if it were me.

I assume you get comments quite often and / or are quite sensitive about being a young mum????

delilahbucket Sun 19-Aug-18 08:15:14

It's a security check, particularly if you are young, have a different surname and could potentially have someone else's child with you. If he asked you your relationship to her you would say daughter regardless. Kids are less likely to lie, particularly when tired. I've had airport security ask my son a similar question and also say his name randomly when he wasn't looking to see if he turned round.

HolyMountain Sun 19-Aug-18 08:16:01

You’ve been worrying about this enough to make a thread or a stealth post as already suggested.grin.

Put it out of your head.

emma6776 Sun 19-Aug-18 08:18:10

I’m an older mum and get asked this a lot abroad, as I have a different surname to my dd. It’s an anti child trafficking measure. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. The mans just doing his job.

FenellaMaxwellsPony Sun 19-Aug-18 08:19:18

Yes, you are making something out of nothing

MarthasGinYard Sun 19-Aug-18 08:20:21

I think you're 'odd' asking

Non issue

Clairetree1 Sun 19-Aug-18 08:23:25

normal routine safety check. He was doing his job.

TaMamaiSaChistinAgusSanOifig Sun 19-Aug-18 08:33:46

Do not worry.

My children were with my xh abroad and my DD told me that a woman with kids asked her (when their Dad wasn't there) where their mum was. And my DD just says it how it is, my mum and dad are divorced, my mum's at home.

I didn't mind at all. I saw it as another mother thinking ''something doesn't ''fit'' there. And without going in to detail I could see why a stranger would think that. I saw it as a mother's instinct.

TaMamaiSaChistinAgusSanOifig Sun 19-Aug-18 08:34:59

And I know it was a man who said it but perhaps he just saw you as a group of friends and noticed that one was a lot younger.

Inforapenny65 Sun 19-Aug-18 08:35:21

Is this for real? Perhaps OP is soooooo tired that she is thinking irrational, paranoid thoughts....hopefully after a good night’s sleep, she will come to her senses😁

pictish Sun 19-Aug-18 08:37:08

Sounds like a lame arsed wee joke of sorts. I don’t know what amused him in this scenario but obviously something did.

Anyway - don’t worry about it now. It’s of no import.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight Sun 19-Aug-18 08:38:50

Sorry but grin at 'stealth post'

meditrina Sun 19-Aug-18 08:39:12

Depending on what country you were in, it is utterly routine for a question or two to be asked of the DC to check they are comfortable to be in the company of the adults they are with and that their version matches up.

Child traffickers are not all men.

Racecardriver Sun 19-Aug-18 08:39:56

There was probably something suspicious about the situation that made him want to double check. It may be your age or it may be if have different names or look very different.

Datedandold Sun 19-Aug-18 08:40:00

He was probably using his brain and doing a mild check to see her reaction so he can gague if you are actually a guardian/parent or you may be trafficking her.

Topseyt Sun 19-Aug-18 08:40:15

Routine I should think. I wouldn't worry about it, though at that time of night when you are overtired then things are likely to have felt magnified.

EdisonLightBulb Sun 19-Aug-18 08:40:20

Oh god no, I took it as a joke when the taxi driver asked my 82 year old mum if we were sisters.

I need to get booked in for that face lift now don't I?

Trinpy Sun 19-Aug-18 08:41:20

It's probably a security check. Last time I went abroad with my dcs I got asked what my children's ages were. I assume this was some sort of check since the bloke was looking at their passports as he asked me ( and it is of course a well known fact that child kidnappers/users of fake passports are unable to look at the DOB on the passport and do basic maths hmm).

strawberrisc Sun 19-Aug-18 08:42:17

I’ve seen some pointless threads in my time, but this...

LEELULUMPKIN Sun 19-Aug-18 08:47:50

It's a legal requirement in most hotels that the person checking in has to be 21 or older. In the US certainly. I get that you were knackered but sending an 11 yr old to do it? If he had wanted to be an arse he could have made you get up and be the parent. He was doing you a favour by allowing your DD to do it for you.

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