CF DRIVING INSTRUCTOR!

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

My dd(17) has severe social anxiety which she has been working really hard to overcome. She decided to take driving lessons to help her with that and was really excited and keen to learn although obviously nervous as anyone would be. She received funding to help her with the cost of lessons, in order to apply for the funding we needed to get a detailed quote in a certain format from the driving instructor we had decided to go with. That meant admitting to the instructor that we were applying for funding and led to her asking questions about it.

That's when alarm bells should have been ringing and I should have gone with a driving school instead. She tried to tell me that my would find an automatic easier and would find it difficult to learn in a manual car. She made that assumption based on the fact that my daughter was receiving disability funding despite being told that my daughter's only problem is severe social anxiety. It has no impact whatsoever on her intelligence or ability to learn new skills. However we got the funding and paid for the first block of 10 lessons.

The first lesson went well and my dd was happy and excited for the next one, she came home with her appt card and progress report and signed the terms and conditions at the back. At the end of the 2nd lesson the instructor told her that she was going on holiday for 3 weeks and advised her to book junior driving lessons in that time! I was really pissed off and should have complained there and then as I feel she should have mentioned her holiday before booking my daughter in for lessons. My dd didn't want to make a fuss so I left it but didn't book junior lessons as they are miles from where we live and not cheap.

She should have had a lesson when the instructor returned from holiday but she cancelled 15 mins before the lesson when dd was sitting ready to leave, apparently she had a flat tyre. Since then she has cancelled twice with 30 mins notice because she had a migraine and a vomiting bug. She rescheduled an appt for the 6th lesson and dd should have had that yesterday morning at 9am. However because of all the messing about we got the time mixed up and thought the lesson was 9.30am. Dd was ready to leave well before 9am anyway but only checked her text messages and realised her mistake at 9.15am. I looked out and no sign of the instructor, dd tried to text but no answer, she also ignored my call. I sent a text to ask her to contact dd as she should have had a lesson at 9am. I got an arsey reply telling me she'd parked outside for 10 mins but as blinds were shut she thought dd had slept in.

I sent her a message asking her to refund the money for the remaining lessons as they were too inconsistent, no flexibility with times and just not working for my daughter. I got a very cheeky reply telling me that she was not surprised as my daughter is nervous, not enjoying lessons etc. She said that she would charge yesterday's lesson as a no show and would refund the final 4 lessons (after initially trying to work a fly one and charge for the lessons she'd cancelled). I replied that it was not a no show if she made no attempt to let my daughter know she was outside, a simple text message would have solved the problem. I suggested that she should be willing to let it slide given that she'd cancelled at short notice 3 times and waited until we'd transferred £250 and signed a contract before telling dd she was going on holiday!

That pissed her off and I got a phone call telling me my dd was unable to learn, blatant lies telling me that she'd advised us about her holiday in advance, my dd was unable to learn, she's not responsible for letting us know she's outside. She said she does not knock on anyone's door and it's illegal to sound a horn at 9am, then she hit out with '" I'm not here to nurse your daughter by sending her a text message". That's when I lost the plot, I called her a stupid looking cow, told her to go fuck herself and told her she'd better get the money refunded. I also told her that I would be reporting her to DVSA. Admittedly not my finest moment but I'd been biting my tongue throughout her phone call given the tone of her voice and the sly digs about dd.

Anyway, apologies for the long post but can anyone advise how to proceed? I doubt she'll willingly give a refund now. I think it's disability discrimination and she told my dd she'd been giving an autistic boy lessons for a year after he'd had a year of lessons in an automatic. She's ripping the piss, she thought she would string these lessons out because my daughter had funding to cover it and she'll be doing it to other people too if she gets away with it. I only found out yesterday that she's told dd on the first lesson that she would find it too difficult to learn but that I had insisted on manual over automatic. My daughter's confidence has really been knocked because of her.

[cansu]

You really shot yourself in the foot by going off on one regardless of how you felt. Your best course of action now is to send a short matter of fact letter asking for a refund on the lessons remaining that won't be taken and the ones cancelled by her. I think the one where she waited outside you will have to let go.

If she still doesn't refund you will have to send another letter informing her you will go to short claims.

[IncrediblySturdyPyjamas]

Fuck it - small claims court.

Letter before action and then do it.

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

I sent a follow up message later asking her to just refund the money for remaining lessons and we'll draw a line under it. I know I lost the moral high ground when I shouted and swore at her but I didn't like the tone of her voice and what she was clearly trying to imply about my dd. She made the assumption that my dd has a learning disability based on the funding.
She was also driving about for half an hour of each lesson looking for a place to take dd before actually letting her behind the wheel. Dd had already told me she didn't feel the lessons were moving fast enough but didn't like to say anything to the instructor. I don't know if ILF would be able to do anything as it's their money that paid for the first block of lessons.

[lilcolibri]

Driving half an hour isn't that unusual, my instructor advised me to book 2 hr slots because the driving to get there took a bit of time.

But she sounds horrid, I hope you get your money back and it doesn't impact your DD too much.

[BewareOfDragons]

I would still report her. She hasn't behaved in a professional manner either. Went for the money up front without telling you about her holiday. Slagged off your daughter. Short notice cancellations. Lying about horn blowing; not knocking; not texting and blaming it all on your daughter again. Report her.

[hmcAsWas]

I agree with cansu - small claims court.

Work on your anger management too - its never good losing it like that (and I speak as someone who has had to work on this myself)

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

Thanks for the replies. I just feel that I’d tried to keep it factual and ask for the refund but she thought it was acceptable to phone and pass the blame on to my daughter. She actually asked her how much of the funding money she had in her bank, obviously thought she was going to scan her out of £1000+ and teach her nothing. If she really thought my daughter didn’t have the ability to learn she shouldn’t have taken the money and agreed to learn. However that’s complete bullshit, I know my daughter will learn with a decent instructor but she totally messed her about and put her down from day one.

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

She actually had the cheek to give me a sob story about her brother being in hospital as an excuse for the inconsistency. I felt like telling her I was actually in hospital having cancer treatment when she cancelled my daughter’s last lesson. It didn’t impact on my daughter’s ability to take her lesson just like her personal life is none of my business and shouldn’t impact on her job. She’s just clutching at straws trying to think up excuses.

[GinUnicorn]

Does she have email? I’d factually email her with your issues I.e. holiday for 3 weeks without you knowing, late cancelled lessons etc and request the remaining balance refunded within two weeks.

Ask her to acknowledge the email and confirm actions.

If she doesn’t response email her again and advice her unless money is repaid by a certain date you will be going to small claims court.

Keep records of everything

[IwantedtobeEmmaPeel]

Report her to ILF and DVSA. I don't know whether driving lessons have changed a lot since my day, but my instructor did not waste half an hour of my lesson while he drove himself. She sounds a thoroughly nasty piece of work and a cheating, scheming cow to boot. I'm not surprised you finally lost it with her - she has treated your daughter appallingly from day one. I would particularly let DVSA know her attitude to people with disabilities.

[APermanentlyExhaustedPigeon]

Definitely report her. Yes, ideally, you shouldn’t have lost your temper. However, she is supposed to be the professional, and she has behaved appalling.

[Pheasantplucker2]

It's a long time since I had lessons, but after the first couple, the driving instructor picked me up and I went straight into the driving seat.

She sounds unprofessional. From now on communicate solely by email and be factual. Small claims will be your only recourse if she doesn't refund you.

Good luck and hope your daughter finds someone more sympathetic. FWIW I think it's always worth having a trial lesson as it's important for learners to have an instructor they click with and feel comfortable with.

[iklboo]

DH is a driving instructor. If a pupil doesn't come out within about 5 mins he goes and knocks on the door, sends a text or phones them to let them know he's there. It's no big deal at all for him to do that.

She shouldn't charge you for the lessons SHE cancelled either. It doesn't work like that. Sounds like she was planning to string your DD along for as many hours as she could get out of her.

[ShadowHuntress]

Driving half an hour isn't that unusual, my instructor advised me to book 2 hr slots because the driving to get there took a bit of time
That’s ridiculous!

[marsbar11]

speak to the people who funded the lessons maybe?

[iklboo]

Well to be fair you can't take a brand new pupil straight out onto the road. Instructors have to find somewhere quiet and suitable for the very first lesson or two. That's not always somewhere right near where the pupil lives (especially where we live) so early two hour lessons are more beneficial.

But DH will usually take a maximum 15 mins to drive to somewhere and then let the pupil take over so they get as much time behind the wheel as possible. As soon as he feels they're ready for the road he lets them set off and drive home.

[frogsoup]

"my instructor advised me to book 2 hr slots because the driving to get there took a bit of time"

Driving to get where? Admittedly my driving lessons were 25 years ago but I used to get in driving seat as soon as I got in the car outside my house and stay there until the end of the lesson (in the driving seat, not outside my house that is)

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

iklboo I told her that I thought it was unacceptable to charge yesterday’s lesson as a no show given that dd was sitting ready to leave but didn’t know she was there. I asked her why she hadn’t sent a text or knocked on the door. She put on a stupid snooty voice and replied that she does not knock on anyone’s door. She said that it’s not her job to hold my daughter’s hand and nurse her by sending her a text to let her know she’s outside as she’d already had to do that once! She’s talking about the first lesson and my daughter was 1 minute late going out because she didn’t know she was parked outside. I told her that it’s quite usual for a driving instructor to let the pupil know that they’re parked outside but apparently I don’t know what I’m talking about, she’s been an instructor for 30 years blah blah blah. I think I did quite well at controlling my anger!

[HollowTalk]

I used to get into the driving seat as soon as I got into the car, too. It's not a driving lesson if the instructor is driving for a long time!

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

My dd asked her for 2 hour lessons but she could never fit her in. She’s been teaching her own daughter to drive for over a year so she seems to fit paying pupils in around her lessons.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I don't know if ILF would be able to do anything as it's their money that paid for the first block of lessons

I know it's small point, but I thought ILF ended in 2015 and that local authorities were handed the job of making up the shortfalls?

[montenuit]

Step back and think about what you're trying to achieve here.
I assume you want a refund for the lessons not yet taken (personally i find it very strange to pay up front for a block of lessons before you've even had ONE but anyway...)

I can't actually work out how many lessons your dd has actually had.
She of course should have texted/knocked or sat there for the full hour outside your house if she was charging you for that hour. Therefore i'd include that in your refunded lessons.

Send an email listing how much she owes you with a deadline for receiving the money.
Tell her if you don't receive the refund by x date you will be reporting her to xyz body.

Don't get into any more discussion or arguments.
She is a complete CF who thinks because your dd got some funding she is entitled to her "share" of that funding, in her warped mind you're not paying full whack so value for money is less of an issue.

Stick to the facts, stick to what you want back and be clear and firm.

Good luck!

[OrangeCarpet]

My DH is a driving instructor.
He says this...
Dvsa can't get refunds sorted out, but they can strike an instructor off the register for incorrect behaviour or being unprofessional. If this was a first complaint they would likely have a formal warning.

I'd suggest saying you intend to send a copy of all your messages and a complaint to dvsa register and let them deal with it. Implying you would rather complain so they can't rip anyone else off again, and lose the money, might see them have a sudden change of heart and refund you. Can't be accused of using the complaint as a threat to get the refund then.

As an aside, if you have an android phone, consider having a call recorder app for anything like this where people start behaving flakily so you've got a record of the conversation.

For what it's worth, any decent instructor would wait 10 to 15 minutes, send a text or make a call, and see if the student is around. I hang around to 25 minutes before toddling off if there's no response.

Here's the link for more info and how to raise a complaint.

www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

The money is from the ILF transition fund, we were told that funding might be ending soon so to get an application in quick.

It was stupid of me to transfer the money for a block of lessons without paying for a single lesson first but because ILF wanted quotes specifically for the blocks of lessons and receipts have to be kept we thought we didn't have an option. Of course what I should have done is just pay a few single lessons for her myself first and kept the full amount of funding to cover blocks once she found a decent instructor. I intend to pay single lessons from now on and will advise ILF of that and my reasons. I'm still annoyed that she actually has the cheek to insist on charging for yesterday's lesson.

[GLASGOWGIRL82]

Thank you OrangeCarpet. I have contacted ILA because they might be willing to send her an email requesting the refund and she's more likely to comply. I just think if she gets away with it she'll do it to someone else, she obviously saw it as easy money.

A call recorder app would be good but I have an iPhone, it would be a good incentive for me to control my anger though!

Her reasoning is that my blinds were shut, therefore dd must have slept in. I don't believe that she sat outside for 10 mins, that's just another lie and an excuse to take money for nothing. Dd had her bedroom blinds upstairs open but I hadn't opened the downstairs blinds.