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To tell DH to stop 'liking' these pictures on fb?

(59 Posts)
Icecreamapples Wed 15-Aug-18 08:21:12

There is a school mum on facebook who both DH and I are fb 'friends' with. She regularly post pics and updates of her and her 2 dd and DS (she is single).

I occasionally 'like' or comment on a cute picture of the kids etc and so do the other school mums. However I've been noticing that dh has been doing this all the time and must admit to feeling a little embarrassed about it. If I saw a random school dad and somebody's husband always liking and commenting on this woman's posts, amongst a sea of women and school mums, I'd think it was a little odd.

I don't want to say anything directly to dh as he doesn't have a lot of friends and so tends to jump on people even if they only make passing conversation with him a couple of times.

Advice please smile

70sShow Wed 15-Aug-18 08:23:28

"Advice please"

Seek help.

Is it jealousy or plain old sexism which is your main issue?

TwitterQueen1 Wed 15-Aug-18 08:30:42

Just tell him! Many people (me included) don't fully understand FB etiquette - it is the cause of so much unnecessary stupidity, over-sharing and upset in IRL - this being a classic example.

All you have to do is say in jokey manner "DH! you need to stop liking this woman's posts - everyone will think you fancy her!"

IceCreamFace Wed 15-Aug-18 08:31:52

Yabu there are a few dads at DCs school who are Facebook friends with all the mums (they are the ones who do pick ups a lot). We're Facebook friends and they like stuff and comment. It's fine.

FatCow2018 Wed 15-Aug-18 08:33:03

Is it jealousy or plain old sexism which is your main issue?

This! I don't see the issue so reckon PP is right and its one of the above.

RockYourSocksOff Wed 15-Aug-18 08:35:18

I think I’m the social media world it could be viewed in a different way. You feel uncomfortable about it so you need to have a calm conversation with your dh about your feelings.

Jelly67 Wed 15-Aug-18 08:36:11

I wouldn't worry about it- if it ever comes up with her just tell her he 'likes' everything on FB and rarely scrolls past anything without clicking 'like'.
I knew a guy years ago when I was single and he still likes everything I post even though I'm married with baby... although I've noticed the pattern I don't really think too much of it tbh.

GreatDuckCookery Wed 15-Aug-18 08:38:47

Does he like a lot of other posts too? Or just this womans?

Syfychannel Wed 15-Aug-18 08:39:45

On FB some people 'like' everything just to be friendly and your dh is clearly one of those. Other people won't assume something is off- it might be what I just mentioned that he just interacts a lot online, you might be good family friends or anything.

TomHardyswife Wed 15-Aug-18 08:39:54

Does he do it to the other mums as well or has he just singled this one out?

Is it you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable as he is crossing a line?

Icecreamapples Wed 15-Aug-18 08:39:57

She's the type of person on fb who adds everyone and anyone she's ever spoken to. She is friends with a couple of other dads who drop off but they never like or comment on anything, just their partners. To be honest I would judge somebody else's husband for doing what dh is doing.

Icecreamapples Wed 15-Aug-18 08:40:58

Tom hardy he isn't friends with any other mums on fb. That is partly the issue - if he did it to everyone it wouldn't look so weird.

TomHardyswife Wed 15-Aug-18 08:46:45

I wouldn't worry so much about how it looks to everyone. Everyone else won't be able to see that he is only liking everything this one woman is posting and no one else. They won't know and be able to see that he is a bit thin on the ground in terms of friends.

My DH has a friend who is the same and it's become a bit much to the point that it is a bit of an inside joke between friends.. So I can see where you are coming from.

I would just gently tell him to tone it down a bit.

Juells Wed 15-Aug-18 08:50:11

Is it jealousy or plain old sexism which is your main issue?


I'm someone who missed every signal about what my ex was doing, I'd be that wife saying "How ridiculous, why shouldn't he 'like' this woman's pictures?". Now... I'd wonder what the hell a man was doing trawling through some random woman's FB page examining her photos. You have a gut, listen to it.

LadyPenelope68 Wed 15-Aug-18 08:50:24

Agree with a couple of pp’s sounds like you’re jealous or sexist to me - I’m going for the jealous angle seeing as you’ve mentioned she’s single (which is totally irrelevant IMO). He’s done absolutely nothing wrong, talk about an over reaction.

Icecreamapples Wed 15-Aug-18 08:51:47

Ladypenelope - it's not irrelevant at all. That is what makes it look so strange to other people.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet Wed 15-Aug-18 08:53:02

Do you only interact with other women online, or are you happy to chat to men too?
It seems odd to me that you think your husband is doing anything wrong here.

Laiste Wed 15-Aug-18 08:53:08

I know not a lot about FB so my logic might not be right here - but if he hasn't got many friends on FB surely there aren't many people even seeing (or being interested in) him doing the 'liking' of this woman's pictures? Apart from you and the woman!

I'd be more concerned if he had a load of friends who could see him watching the woman's posts.

Ansumpasty Wed 15-Aug-18 08:54:07

Is he more on friends terms with her than other school mums?
I ‘like’ a school dad’s pictures because he’s my friend.

If he never even sees her in real life and found her from your friend list, then that’s kind of weird

Syfychannel Wed 15-Aug-18 08:56:27

Yes also if he doesn't have a lot of friends her posts are more likely to come up on his feed.

Icecreamapples Wed 15-Aug-18 08:58:31

Ansumpasty Like I said, he probably talks to her occasionally but he has a tendency to jump on people and assume that that means their best friends. She never ever likes any of his posts, but she does like mine.

BeachyUmbrella Wed 15-Aug-18 09:00:24

My dh doesn't really 'understand' fb either! He quite often starts a conversation that would be best as a message on someone's wall.....
This is something he would do and if I picked him up on it, he'd say 'That's what fb is for, I'm only being nice' smile

As long as she doesn't mind, I wouldn't worry....

FabulousTomatoes Wed 15-Aug-18 09:00:59

Does he like everyone else’s stuff? If so that’s fine, he’s clearly a Facebook Pleaser. Personally I find annoying as I find it all a bit insincere - there are people that would like a picture of my dog’s poo on FB - but it is up to them.

If however he makes exception to this woman, and he likes her stuff more than anyone else’s, I’d be having quiet words to find out why. Lighthearted words, but I’d want to know why.

FabulousTomatoes Wed 15-Aug-18 09:02:28

Also if she doesn’t like his posts in return, but likes yours, it might show that she’s a bit uncomfortable with his liking, and wants you to know that it isn’t reciprocated!

GlacierMints Wed 15-Aug-18 09:02:57

I don't understand why people get so worked up about "liking" a post. Who cares? It's a less than a second decision to click "like" with very little thought behind it.

Unless someone is adding a comment, a like means nothing - unless you have no life and obsess about these kind of things. Likes are throwaway clicks that have no meaning to most people.

Leave him alone and forget about it. It's no big deal. If he starts adding comments like "phwoargh" or "hey babe missed you today" then you can worry about it.

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