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AIBU?

To have fallen out with my friends boyfriend because he takes the....

124 replies

SlimmingMumOf1 · 15/08/2018 08:12

Piss?

Every time I see my friend and her long term boyfriend who is in his 20s, he always says to me "have you shrunk or something? You're getting smaller!", I usually laugh it off but I have literally had it up to here with it. I know I am small (4'11"), I don't need to be reminded about it every single time I see them!

Yesterday, we decided to meet for a coffee and her boyfriend was walking with her on his way to work, I said hello to him then he said "you still haven't grown. Why are you so small", I immediately stopped in my tracks and told him why don't he take a good look at his ugly mug in the mirror and to grow the F up.

My friend was mortified. She said that she will text me later instead but she never did. I'm sorry but I just lost my temper with it! Surely I was not being unreasonable? I don't usually have a short fuse but yesterday really got to me! We are in our 20s FFS, surely that's what immature young idiots say to each other.

OP posts:

Report

70sShow · 15/08/2018 08:15

"I have literally had it up to here with it."

How much is that? Not too much, I guess.

SlimmingMumOf1 · 15/08/2018 08:16

A LOT lol.

OP posts:

Timeforabiscuit · 15/08/2018 08:17

There is an enormous difference in maturity between early twenties and late twenties, and this varies from person to person.

Sounds like by snapping you've lost your friend, she'll have a earful of "i was only joking".

If you want to keep the friend, I'd apologise for snapping - but in future any comments you dont like for goodness sake dont laugh along with it, make sure they know they are being a pillock!

Chuggachuggatoottoot · 15/08/2018 08:18

Good for you lol. He sounds like a right annoying idiot

LeftRightCentre · 15/08/2018 08:20

You have nothing to apologise for and she's a shit excuse for a friend to dump you over her fuckwit of a boyfriend. He's beyond obnoxious. I wouldn't give either one of them a second thought.

ShatnersWig · 15/08/2018 08:24

Shouldn't have laughed it off for all this time. If it bothered you, you should have said something long before it got to this stage. He might have stopped had he known you didn't like it. Of course, he might not have stopped in which case your outburst of fuck off after his repeatedly not stopping his behaviour when you'd asked him too would be appropriate.

TheNavigator · 15/08/2018 08:28

I think you should have asked him to stop before having a childish tanty. If he didn't stop after being asked, your wee tirade would have been understandable, as it is you have put yourself in the wrong as he can claim he was just having a joke and had no idea it offended you so much. Your friend will wonder why you didn't say something before and went straight for the verbal abuse.

bionicnemonic · 15/08/2018 08:29

I would imagine he’s not a great conversationalist or maybe socially uncomfortable and he just can’t think of anything original to say so the height comments are a sort of gap filler. I really can’t see that’s anything unpleasant...just a little unimaginative (reminds me of that lovely sequence in Roxanne where he tries to come up with more elloquent insults about his own big nose)...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1nYEH6EDwM

echt · 15/08/2018 08:29

Just put "black" instead of "short", those of you blaming the OP for not pulling him up sooner/ and excusing the knobend on grounds of age.

FFS.

toughenup · 15/08/2018 08:32

Maybe you need to grow up ...

70sShow · 15/08/2018 08:32

@echt

And instead of "takes the piss" say 'smashed me in the face with a brick'.

FFS indeed!

Ansumpasty · 15/08/2018 08:33

YANBU. Perhaps he thought it was friendly banter and thinks you are ‘cute’ and isn’t being deliberately offensive?
Still- if it’s offensive to you, that’s what counts. At least he won’t say it again!

Lordamighty · 15/08/2018 08:35

Good for you OP, I get really annoyed about height comments , it’s not like you can do anything about it is it? Yet even strangers feel free comment on it.

LyndorCake · 15/08/2018 08:35

Yeah after the second or third time, I would have thought up something witty to say in response that also cut him off. I have no examples of this as this would require some serious thought from me ha!
I agree that perhaps he is just crap at making small talk (no pun intended) and since you let him do this over and over again, he had no idea it upset you.
I think you over reacted and owe your friend and her BF an apology.

On the bright side, if they do forgive you, I doubt he'll make that joke again

LeftRightCentre · 15/08/2018 08:35

Even my pre-teen knows that repeatedly mocking someone's height is never just friendly banter or a joke. He's a bully. You called him on it. Bravo.

Firsttimemum892 · 15/08/2018 08:36

Hahaha this made my morning ! Good on you wish I could have seen his face

SuperRandom · 15/08/2018 08:37

He was being really rude by commenting on your physical appearance.

Imagine if he'd been commenting on your size or skin colour - why is it acceptable to tease people because of their height?

I'd send your friend a text something along the lines of...

'Hi. I'm sorry for snapping at your bf yesterday, I lost my temper and shouldn't have sworn at him.
But every time I see him without fail he comments on my height and I'm finding it really offensive and upsetting. I hope you can understand this.
See you soon.'

TheHulksPurplePanties · 15/08/2018 08:39

Just put "black" instead of "short"

Yeah, black jokes and short jokes are TOTALLY the same thing. Just like "Knock Knock" jokes are in the same league as Dead Baby jokes.

OP, you probably should have just asked him to stop making them before you snapped. That would be the mature thing to do.

BillywigSting · 15/08/2018 08:39

Even my pre-teen knows that repeatedly mocking someone's height is never just friendly banter or a joke. He's a bully. You called him on it. Bravo.

^this.

Good on you op, and those of you blaming her for not pulling him up on it earlier, how would you handle it then? What if he was repeatedly commenting on something about you that you perhaps felt self conscious of?

He's a cock op, and your friend isn't much of one for letting him get away with it.

supersop60 · 15/08/2018 08:39

Bravo indeed.
And fuck off all those people who say "you should have...."

echt · 15/08/2018 08:40

Just put "black" instead of "short" Yeah, black jokes and short jokes are TOTALLY the same thing. Just like "Knock Knock" jokes are in the same league as Dead Baby jokes

They are the same because they are about an aspect of the person they cannot change.

Ethylred · 15/08/2018 08:43

You did the right thing in standing up for yourself.

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Juells · 15/08/2018 08:43

I think you should have asked him to stop before having a childish tanty. If he didn't stop after being asked, your wee tirade would have been understandable, as it is you have put yourself in the wrong as he can claim he was just having a joke and had no idea it offended you so much.

The wonder is that the OP didn't do it before, not that she did it now. MN seems to have lots of posters who never lose their tempers no matter how aggravated they (justifiably) become by unreasonable behaviour.

He won't be doing it again, and it might make him think twice about making personal remarks to other people. The friend was a bit useless as well - if I had a short, or fat, or skinny friend I'd be annoyed if they were constantly teased about something they had no control over.

keepingbees · 15/08/2018 08:44

You did nothing wrong, you don't have to be the constant butt of his jokes, why should you just smile sweetly while he insults you?
Your friend isn't much of a friend if she's happy to let him keep putting you down and then side with him over it. Don't text, apologise, anything. They should be apologising to you and if they don't it's their loss.

InfiniteVariety · 15/08/2018 08:44

Th problem with this scenario is that you can't win - if you react as you did by snapping, you are at fault for being rude. If you try to indicate you want him to stop making this tired old joke by looking grim-faced & unamused, you will be accused of having no sense of humour.

If he had any social skills at all he would be able to see you are fed up with the joke, which was pretty lame/unfunny in the first place and stop.

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