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MIL suggests I miss my son’s second birthday party

(351 Posts)
shesastupidcow Tue 14-Aug-18 21:45:20

I’m not being u but didn’t know where to put this. There should be a section called Vent.

We’re moving and it’s DS’s birthday. Everything has gone wrong. DH called away with work, my car broke down on today’s tip and charity shop run, end of tenancy cleaners have pulled out because someone is sick... DS’s party was supposed to be at MIL’s at the weekend because we knew our place would be a state and when DH was talking to MIL tonight, saying he didn’t know how we’d get everything done and we were thinking we might not make the trip (DS is 2 and won’t care if we postpone his party) MIL suggested that I stay at home to sort out the mess and DH take DS to his second birthday party ON HIS OWN.


Even DH, usually oblivious to his mother, was shocked.

SoftSheen Tue 14-Aug-18 21:48:05

YANBU! Cancel the party and have one at your house instead, when you are ready.

NapQueen Tue 14-Aug-18 21:48:10


Unless their is a backstory with Mil maybe she just wanted to show you that she was still able to do her bit and that she would understand if you were needed elsewhere.

Ok. So you dont want to do that. No need to villify her.

BertrandRussell Tue 14-Aug-18 21:48:27

If people were already invited and she had suggested that one option would be "one of you" staying at home then that would have been OK. But saying you shout is absolutely not on.

nokidshere Tue 14-Aug-18 21:48:47

Well yabu really. It was an offer of help that many parents would have taken. A 2 yr won't care about a party, nor will he remember it.

Yanbu to say no though if it doesn't suit you

Frogscotch7 Tue 14-Aug-18 21:49:00

I don’t think she meant put him on a number 21 bus to the party and leave him to fend for himself.

zzzzz Tue 14-Aug-18 21:49:33

Say “that’s a kind offer” and remember FOREVERangry

Dieu Tue 14-Aug-18 21:50:43

Och, she was probably just disappointed to be missing it ... perhaps she'd bought in food etc, to save you a job.
I don't see it as such a big deal, but will probably be in the minority on that.

BertrandRussell Tue 14-Aug-18 21:51:34

But it's really not an awful thing to suggest. Sounds like emergency measures are called for.

apriljune12 Tue 14-Aug-18 21:52:32

Good god as a loving mil I would offer that too. Just in case that was what my son was hinting at. I would assume you were crazy busy and could I have him for the day plus host the party as he’s 2 and so won’t care anyway

Ffs by all means tell her to fuck off op. I expect she won’t offer to have a toddlers party at her house again and i wouldn’t blame her.

Singlenotsingle Tue 14-Aug-18 21:53:13

A kiddies birthday party is hardly a major event, is it? Noisy and messy. She probably thought she was being helpful.

StrawberriesAndCream123 Tue 14-Aug-18 21:58:39

Unless she is monster in law from Hell you are massively blowing this out of proportion. It was just an idea, just thank her but decline

C0untDucku1a Tue 14-Aug-18 21:58:56

Op, the jobs that will need doing on saturday, who will be better placed to do them? You or your dp?

EnterSpaceCapsule Tue 14-Aug-18 21:59:16

If I get to be a MIL in this situation, I'd be offering to come and help.

OP, you have a moving deadline, you need all the time and help you can get. Postpone the party and see how many guests could lend a hand/car on the weekend.

extinctspecies Tue 14-Aug-18 22:02:16

Your DS is going to be 2. Birthday party pointless at this age.

He won't know or care if you cancel it.

HerRoyalNotness Tue 14-Aug-18 22:03:24

The 2yo
Might not care but parents generally want to be in attendance at their young child’s birthday party, which I think is the point.

MIL should have suggested or agreed to postponing it until all the family could attend

apriljune12 Tue 14-Aug-18 22:04:58


Well yes agree and as s mum to 5 and a nanna to 3 dgc helping is keeping the 2 year old busy at your house and leaving them to sort things. In our family dh and their siblings would pitch in and I would have the toddler.

Jesus some families are fucked up and just looking for slights and offence

LovingLola Tue 14-Aug-18 22:06:17

Is your user name a reference to your mother-in-law?

CoolCarrie Tue 14-Aug-18 22:06:39

Cancel it first thing tomorrow morning and concentrate on getting everything sorted with your new home, then have the party. Your ds is tiny and he won’t care when the party is.

apriljune12 Tue 14-Aug-18 22:07:02

And I guess it was just one suggestion not a royal command ‘dil shall not attend the party’ wink

As I posted on the other mil thread thankgod for my lovely dils smile

Dollymixture22 Tue 14-Aug-18 22:07:45

I agree the party should just be rescheduled given the situation. Thank you mil but decline. And hope she was just being a bit clueless in trying to help.

QuoadUltra Tue 14-Aug-18 22:08:03

YABU completely

I presume this is your pfb.

It was a suggestion.

Flipflop789 Tue 14-Aug-18 22:08:23

Very thoughtless suggestion. As if you would want to miss your childs birthday party. Id be unimpressed too OP. Good luck with the move!

apriljune12 Tue 14-Aug-18 22:09:05

Oh just seen your username.


shesastupidcow Tue 14-Aug-18 22:09:39

Gosh that blew up while I got him!

It’s family, no hoarded of invited guests, just people who would be there anyway at the weekend.

DH did cancel.

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