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To ask for your tales and experiences of the lengths OW went to?

(18 Posts)
NomsQualityStreets Sat 11-Aug-18 08:54:17

I'm always reading on here lots of stories of the sometimes ridiculous lengths men have gone to in order to have an affair/meet an OW. I've also heard lots of this IRL.

I'm curious if anyone ever came across a situation where it was actually the OW who was the main instigator and/or went to extreme or just silly lengths to get what she wanted successfully or not or wether that's just something that happens in the telenovelas my DGM watches grin

Let me preface this by saying regardless of who the instigator is I generally believe that the married party is at fault as they're the ones willing to cheat on their partners and this is not a "let's blame the OW" thread I'm simply curious and would love to read some interesting and or funny things that actually happened.

Anyone has one?

Grumblepants Sat 11-Aug-18 08:58:45

When I was with ex BF years ago a girl decided she wanted him. She flirted outrageously with him in front of me. Arranged for her mates to throw parties he could go to but specifically not invite me. He was weak and pathetic and eventually he dumped me for her. She then dumped him telling her friends "it wasn't as much fun after I got grumble out the way".
She literally did it just to prove she could.

MilkFuckingRules Sat 11-Aug-18 09:00:40

What a bitch!

Iscreamforbenandjerrys Sat 11-Aug-18 09:04:25

She wanted to wait in the hospital car park whilst I was giving birth. I think she was worried we might get back together during labour. confused

NotsomethingIddoagain Sat 11-Aug-18 09:20:06

Unless the person reporting the story actually witnessed it themselves, these kind of accounts will usually be based on what the DH has said which is frequently a pack of lies. A common tactic (shown again and again) on posts here is mirror lies to the DW and the OW -
to the DW: she chased and chased me. she's obsessed. I've told her its over she wont listen - about an OW who is perfectly normal and rational, was told he was single/separated.
to the OW: she's really mentally unstable. I think she might commit suicide. I've told her about us and I want to be with you. She won't accept it and is threatening to stop me seeing the kids - about a DW who is perfectly stable and rational, discovered the affair and has said its over unless you end it now.

I was an OW (innocent at first). I can tell you I have NEVER been so ardently pursued by a man in my life. With hindsight, I would say this is actually a red flag for a MM seeking an affair. MM are capable of turbo-chasing/romantic pursuit in a way that never happens in real life single relationships.

In real life a man who actually is seriously interested in a woman (keen) is scared on some level of rejection and is wanting to lay a foundation for a future relationship - so (excluding the narcissist love bomber - another example of unreal pursuit) will moderate their courtship behaviour. A MM who has a marital relationship he does not want to leave doesn't want a future relationship and really doesn't care about rejection - they have nothing to lose and are following their sex drive like a dog with a bone. This results in intense romantic pursuit that is like the worse extremes of a romantic film - because its not real life.

Iscream do you just know that because your DH told you? You have no idea what he has said to her. Maybe said it was basically over but he'd be there to support you at the birth and would leave straight after leading to an offer to pick him up. Once you are into a discovered affair, its lies on tap both ways (to OW and DW) I'm afraid. Not a word of truth falls from the mans lips - except to say that he does not want to end his marriage and also wants to keep the side show sex.

HoHoHoHo Sat 11-Aug-18 09:27:08

A friend of mine went on a few dates with a guy who turned out to be married but said he was separated and going through a divorce. He was in s car accident and my friend found out through someone he knows and visited him in hospital and his wife was there. He told his wife she was a crazy woman from work who stalked him and persued married men and his wife believed him.

NotBuiltForThisWorld Sat 11-Aug-18 09:32:09

A stupid acquaintance of mine travelled to fucking Italy to go to a ritzy work related conference - paid for herself - just so she could rendezvous with her married internet crush from Spain! Probably cost her the best part of a grand for a couple of shags. She wasn't even desperately wealthy as far as I could tell, just clearly infatuated. Not sure if she's seen him since, we don't work together any more.

NotTheFordType Sat 11-Aug-18 09:54:27

Hmmm.... Did an extra shift at work so I could fuck my boss in the office.

It was time and a half though so win-win really.

scaryteacher Sat 11-Aug-18 11:51:17

My Dad's OW followed him back from Austraila and rented a house not far from us. Bit of a shock for my Mum when she found out....

Iscreamforbenandjerrys Sat 11-Aug-18 11:52:50

It was presented to me as what was going to happen. She would wait in the car, for hours if necessary.

RubiksQueen Sat 11-Aug-18 11:57:18

I knew someone whose OW moved in next door to him and his wife... after she became the OW

SandyY2K Sat 11-Aug-18 12:06:41

This was told to me by the OW herself.

She paid for him to file his divorce papers when he said he couldn't afford it. Papers were filed.... he apparently did something to disrespect her and she phoned his wife to tell her about the affair.
The all he'll broke loose.

In the case of another OW (she was my childminder and he was 18 years older) She actually filled in the divorce papers and got him to sign and sent off herself. Weak and foolish he was.

He did get divorced and they were together for a long time. Till he became to old for her and she dumped him. He went back to the town where his Ex wife lives.

KurriKurri Sat 11-Aug-18 12:33:02

The list of OW's crazy behaviour is endless, even XH admitted in the end she was a sociopath. Her initial action was to chat him up online (along with loads of other men) then she sent him plane tickets to her home country (in eastern Europe) for his birthday and then came over to Uk to fetch him and take him home with her.

She went on to further pretty alarming and scary behaviour. (Without going into details she did some very unpleasant things to me online - signed me up to disgusting'dating' sites so I got bombarded by emails from perverts), weird anonymous threats etc etc.

An amusing one was where she announced her 'engagement' on FB, I asked DH to get her to take it down as 1. we were still married technically and 2. my children could see it and it was upsetting for them. He tried unsuccessfully to hide the surprise and panic in his eyes when he discovered he was 'engaged'. Anyway she named no names - so I imagine a lot of other men going through a mid life crisis and cheating on their wives got a bit of a shock too grin

Obviously DH was the one at fault - no one forced him to trawl the internet for mad women to shag. At least she had the excuse of being disturbed, he was just a stupid tosser.

Hortonlovesahoo Sat 11-Aug-18 12:46:12

This was a friend of mine from school. She became obsessed with this guy and made it her objective to "catch" him. She instigated meetings late in the day so they could go out for a drink afterwards (as was common in their work) and she sent her brother away for the weekend so they could use his house to shag in.

She was extremely proud of herself and when he tried to call it off, she went crazy and this included blackmail, trying to get him fired and using him to get a promotion

Bbbbbbbb2017 Sat 11-Aug-18 12:50:54

I am amazed at wgat the OW stood by. She was sleeping with him in my bed when our newborn was fighting sepsis. She stood by him when he received a criminal conviction for assault and threats to kill. She then stood by him in family court when he admitted 46 allegations of serious sexual physical and child abuse which resulted in no comtact with our two children

Why oh why would you stick with someone who is a thug and a cheat

GrandTheftWalrus Sat 11-Aug-18 13:22:43

Not an OW (for once) but someone emailed me to say my exH was meeting up with a 14yr old girl. When I knew he was away in England for work.

I caught her out completely when she borrowed my phone to phone her OH and it was the same number as the "girl"

mydogmymate Sat 11-Aug-18 13:33:10

I know someone who did this. She decided that she wanted a man she worked with despite them both being married. She kicked her husband out over something small & he had to sofa surf for a while until he got on his feet. She bought him out of the house & he managed to get a small flat.

Her next target was the wife. Not quite sure how she got rid of her, but the woman in question got pregnant and the man split from his wife. Fast forward 25 years and 3 kids and a marriage later, the man went back to his first wife and remarried her. The first husband is now happy with his second wife, the second husband is now happily remarried and the original woman is on her own. Boom! Karma wink

toolonglurking Sat 11-Aug-18 16:20:26

I don't have a story to add (I guess I should be grateful for that) but some of these stories are incredible and quite shocking!

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