I just fucked up so badly

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

Literally hate my ADHD brain. I put everything off to the last minute. I make careless mistakes. Blah blah blah.

See my thread this morning about this amazing course/ job I found. I finally managed to submit my application with minutes to spare.

Well there was two opportunities, both highly competitive.

The last one; I've spent all night perfecting my personal statement. Finish it all and go to submit to UCAS. It asks me if I'm sure I want to submit without attachments. I see that there are multiple application forms I have to submit; the personal statement isn't even needed.

I quickly email them, not thinking and lying saying it won't let me attach the files. I wish I just told them the truth. I've never used my ADHD as an excuse before, but it would have been better than bloody computer problems. There's no way they'll let me submit tomorrow, is there? Especially as I've submitted a (really good) personal statement, so disregarding the instructions.

They won't be in until Monday at the earliest, so I'm not sure if it's even worth spending the day doing the application forms tomorrow and emailing them in?

The other one is the one I really want, but both have 200 applicants for 20 places, so I've halfed my chances.

Can't stop crying. This opportunity would have changed mine and my DDs life. I wish my brain worked normally. Even medicated, I still can't function like a normal person.

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

And I panicked before realising this and had to click submit reference before it told me. So I've just emailed my employer's generic email address. It's not really a secret that I'm looking for something else as I've just graduated, but still. Awkward, and all for nothing now.

[StillMedusa]

As no one will look at them til Monday I'd give it a go..fill in those forms and submit them asap. I can't hurt..might be ok.

As for the other one..just go for it.. you never know.

But..and I say this as the parent of an adult with pretty severe ADHD... you can and need to, organise yourself ..use your phone for deadlines, set alarms for everything. Tell people who can nag you to death so that you are not procrastinating. It's worth the effort. My DD1 has ADHD, medicated most of her life and she is now a doctor. It took her a HUGE amount of extra effort to get that far but there was a point where she had to own her ADHD but not let it be an excuse, because she wanted her future career more. So she had reminders, alarms, friends and family primed to nag her til she was so pissed off she got on with whatever the job was. It was worth it!

[garethsouthgatesmrs]

I would still do the forms as they won't be in until monday.

I have no idea if they will look but they might - I would in that situation as computer problems do happen and you have emailed before the deadline.

Don't beat yourself up we all make mistakes.

[DesignStatement]

Just submit them, nobody will look til Monday.

[CSIblonde]

So they have half your application? Still send other forms asap. Put massive in capitals 'Resend Due to computer Issues' and and email course Co ordinator too.
It happens all time. I had probs with my online degree application. It was all there, just wouldn't 'submit' . I had to print off, scan & email it to the course co-ordinator who was lovely when I rang panicking .

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

It's UCAS, so they won't let you submit after 12am. I would have to email the extra forms to the course administrator. I was thinking of emailing the following..

To ..

I sent an email last night regarding my UCAS application, explaining that I couldn’t attach the NHS documents required. This wasn’t entirely true. I did have some computer trouble and I did find out about the course very recently, but the primary reason for my not attaching the files was because I didn’t actually realise they existed until the last minute.

I have ADHD, and whilst medicated I usually manage my time very well, and am able to organise multiple responsibilities effectively. However, due to financial problems and a dispute in shared care arrangements between psychiatrist and GP*, I have not been able to take my daily medication this week. Therefore, I’m back to making careless mistakes and leaving things till the last minute.

I have never disclosed my disability to employers before, I haven’t needed to. I’d rather get a job on merit, rather than to fulfill a quota. However, I am so passionate about this role; please read the personal statement I took so long to write before realising it was not needed in the application. I believe I am well suited for the course, and would excel, not least because I understand on a personal level the difficulties in which neurological or mental health disorders can cause. *

I enclose the relevant application forms, and can send my letter of ADHD diagnosis if needed. I understand if it is not possible for you to consider me, but I thought I stood a better chance by being honest.

Kindest Regards...

Is this just pathetic though? I wouldn't dream of sending it to a normal employer, but universities are pretty kind about this sort of stuff, especially psychology departments. I'd reword it in the morning and sort out the grammar and stuff, I typed it on my cracked to pieces phone. It's a bit begging I know. I just want it so badly.

And I know I need to be more organised. Like your DD, I'm sure, I'm a lot better on meds. Just completed a degree, whilst working and raising my baby alone. But without them, I struggle a great deal. Usually I can shrug it off - but I wanted this so badly, and I really am well qualified for it.

[CSIblonde]

So they have half of it by the deadline? Send the other forms asap with a "Resent due to IT issues". Happens all time. I had to print off, scan & email my application as University website was doing weird things. They were fine about it.

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

So they have half your application? Still send other forms asap. Put massive in capitals 'Resend Due to computer Issues' and and email course Co ordinator too.
It happens all time. I had probs with my online degree application. It was all there, just wouldn't 'submit' . I had to print off, scan & email it to the course co-ordinator who was lovely when I rang panicking .

Really?! I'd much rather do this, and not have to send that degrading email! It is more like a job than a course though, and it is massively competitive. So I don't know if it's just be a very simple way to get rid of one applicant.

[garethsouthgatesmrs]

I personally don't think you should send the long email. Just submit the forms to the email address with the explanation you have given that the documents wouldn't attach.

You've already said that anyway so sending your email blaming the adhd just makes you look like a liar.

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

I know ok, I'll do that and hope for the best. Do I say I'm so sorry and I understand if they can't consider my application, or do I just literally say due to aforementioned computer issues, here are the missing documents? I'm rubbish at this stuff,

[Shamoo]

Now you have already told them you have IT issues, I would definitely follow up and send the completed forms tomorrow, saying you are emailing them as the system wouldn't let you submit them. That is much better than admitting you didnt tell the truth the first time and also didn't follow the instructions.
Totally different scenario but I once genuinely couldn't upload the attachment for an application (it wouldn't let me), and so I submitted without the attachments and emailed them separately. They were fine about it.
Good luck! Don't let it get you down - just do your best, and make sure you submit a great application for the application you really want :)

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

Also, my work! How unbelievably awkward is that. It doesn't start until February though, and nobody would be surprised at me giving in my notice. There's only a generic email available really, and it said I had to request the references before I could submit. I just panicked. Dreading Monday!

The only thing cheering me up is the application this morning is the one I want more. So hopefully I'll be successful with that one.

[2up2manydown]

Don’t send that email. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Plenty apply to university with more going on that that.

Just own your mistake, get oganised and try again.

[Shamoo]

I would personally say that I understand if they can't accept, but you are really keen etc.

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

Now you have already told them you have IT issues, I would definitely follow up and send the completed forms tomorrow, saying you are emailing them as the system wouldn't let you submit them. That is much better than admitting you didnt tell the truth the first time and also didn't follow the instructions.
Totally different scenario but I once genuinely couldn't upload the attachment for an application (it wouldn't let me), and so I submitted without the attachments and emailed them separately. They were fine about it.
Good luck! Don't let it get you down - just do your best, and make sure you submit a great application for the application you really want :)

I did submit the rest of my application, and even if they can't officially look at the personal statement, it is strong. Looking on forums related to the course, people have got interviews with much less experience. You're all making me feel a little more hopeful, thank you.

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

Don’t send that email. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Plenty apply to university with more going on that that.

I know. I started my undergrad as a single parent, living in a homeless hostel with a 3 month old baby. You're right. I'm glad I didn't send it, moment of madness.

[CSIblonde]

Degrading email? I just said put one sentence:. 'Resent due to IT issues' . Then attach forms & send? As I assume their website won't let you do them separately once main form done.

[leghoul]

A fellow ADHD sufferer here
The stigma this very real condition gets makes me pretty cross, and I'm sorry you've had this issue with the forms. I've done similar perfecting something then screwing up a deadline by a tiny margin that sends everything crashing down.

However - this is not the end of the road re this and there will be other chances, if it doesn't go how you want it to this time. Honestly there will be and it doesn't matter if you start something this year or next or later if it's what you really want to do.

I would say don't send the very long email. Send a short email with relevant attachments and hope for the best.

It's terrible but I quite like the motto never apologise never explain.. I've used it when submitting something the morning after a Friday midnight deadline, knowingit will just be sitting in the inbox until Monday, hoping they won't notice! In your case I would chuck in a dash of apology but not too much.

[leghoul]

Stick to the IT issues

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

Degrading email? I just said put one sentence:. 'Resent due to IT issues' . Then attach forms & send? As I assume their website won't let you do them separately once main form done.

No! I meant mine was degrading, and I'd much rather follow your suggestion.

[CSIblonde]

Ah sorry... you meant Ops email was degrading. Duh!

[HoldingOutForAutumn]

A fellow ADHD sufferer here
The stigma this very real condition gets makes me pretty cross, and I'm sorry you've had this issue with the forms. I've done similar perfecting something then screwing up a deadline by a tiny margin that sends everything crashing down.

However - this is not the end of the road re this and there will be other chances, if it doesn't go how you want it to this time. Honestly there will be and it doesn't matter if you start something this year or next or later if it's what you really want to do.

I would say don't send the very long email. Send a short email with relevant attachments and hope for the best.

It's terrible but I quite like the motto never apologise never explain.. I've used it when submitting something the morning after a Friday midnight deadline, knowingit will just be sitting in the inbox until Monday, hoping they won't notice! In your case I would chuck in a dash of apology but not too much.

Thank you so much. It's rubbish isn't it. Just fills me with self loathing when I know I'm capable of so much more. I feel a little more hopeful now (though not very, it really is massively competitive). I've had a glass of wine and a cry, and am going to take myself to bed and wake up tomorrow, do the best I can on the forms and hope for the best, as you say. Thanks again x

[MovingThisYearHopefully]

I have ADHD too. In all honesty, you'd probably of fucked it off soon after starting anyway. It goes with the territory. I've been known to quit an A level class at the first break. So frustrated with myself & feel your pain!

[PolkaHots]

Thank god you’re not sending that e-mail!!!!

[esk1mo]

moving what a horrible thing to say!