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To be LIVID at controlling DH

(92 Posts)
UtahStar Fri 10-Aug-18 21:15:24

Background info - I work Monday to Thursday 8.30 - 5pm.

DH works Mon -Thursday 7.30 - 4.30 and Friday 7.30 - 11.30.

So yes, he works longer hours than me but not by loads.

I cook dinner around 5/6 times a week. I do all the shopping and meal planning. I do 100% of the laundry. I clean the kitchen almost every day and I do all the bathrooms including bleaching the bogs and washing the floors.
I walk the dog twice a day, he's meant to do it in a night but rarely does. I do the bedding, the hoovering and putting clothes away.

What does DH do? He puts the bins out. And the DIY.

Anyway tonight he's sat playing on the computer and I was playing in the PS4 whilst making dinner. He shouted through that I should feed the dog. I shouted back "can you do it as I made tea". Anyway it erupted into a massive row where he basically said I do fuck all and he does everything as well as working full time. He works slightly more hours a week than I do yet I feel like I bod every fucking thing around the house and my fuse has well and truly blown. I'm fuming and told him to fuck off. I'm sick of him fucking telling me what to do, critising, minimising what I do. I'm fucking livid and I've blown my top big time.

He's off in a sulk and I've shut the living room door as though to tell him to leave me the fuck alone for the foreseeable future.

AIbU

user1471451564 Fri 10-Aug-18 21:16:45

No.

mumofone234 Fri 10-Aug-18 21:16:58

Er, no! Definitely not BU.

Lucked Fri 10-Aug-18 21:18:17

Go on strike! Just stop doing it all.

Lobsterquadrille2 Fri 10-Aug-18 21:19:32

Stop doing everything. Only then will he realise how much you do.

curiositycreature Fri 10-Aug-18 21:21:34

Yeah agree! Go on strike. Fuck him! I used to play chicken with my DH with the chores and it worked a treat!

Peakypush Fri 10-Aug-18 21:22:38

Don't have children with this man. Trust me - you do NOT want to have children with this man!

Gemini69 Fri 10-Aug-18 21:22:43

Good for you OP... flowers

Parker231 Fri 10-Aug-18 21:25:15

Why do you do everything- he works standard hours and must be home in time to cook dinner or sort out laundry?

enbh Fri 10-Aug-18 21:26:11

Noooooo! He sounds like a prize arsehole!

UpstartCrow Fri 10-Aug-18 21:26:56

If you weren't there he'd have to do it all himself, but in real life, not in his overactive imagination.

Thatsfuckingshit Fri 10-Aug-18 21:28:43

So you say he doesn't do anything

And he says you don't do anything.

Both can't be true. If you are aure he doesnt do anyyhing, Maybe you need to get him to list what he actually does do. When he struggles to make the list himself, he will r3alise he does very little.

BarbarianMum Fri 10-Aug-18 21:29:25

Suggest you do "fuck all" for a month. Stop with the excessive clean, go get a hobby or pick up some more hours at work. Or tell him you're busy looking for another job. See how the cf likes it.

Cismyass Fri 10-Aug-18 21:32:28

There really doesn't seem to be much going for men these days. Either he scrubs up or ships out fucks off Loving the use of the word bog btw. Not heard that in yonks! grin

heartsease68 Fri 10-Aug-18 21:38:37

You need to make a list and put it in front of him.
Don't have children!!

Maelstrop Fri 10-Aug-18 21:39:14

God, I hope you don’t have children with this man child.

pointythings Fri 10-Aug-18 21:40:30

Er... Well, he can just fuck right off, can't he? Lazy bastard.

Don't do anything for him. Do your laundry. Cook your meals - and only shop for those. And if he complains, divorce his ass.

thebewilderness Fri 10-Aug-18 21:40:59

I do not recommend going on strike because they can usually live with a much bigger mess than we can.
I suggest a work slow down where you only do what you care about getting done, and a polite "no, thank you" every time he asks you to do something, while you think things through. Can you tolerate years and years of this? Is this what you signed on for?

If he is a reasonable person he will want to have a talk with you about this. His tantrum over being told no is a very big red flag.

Chalady Fri 10-Aug-18 21:41:45

I scanned your OP hoping there was no mention of children.

thebewilderness Fri 10-Aug-18 21:42:03

2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.

tellyaddictanon Fri 10-Aug-18 21:42:36

YANBU

SandyY2K Fri 10-Aug-18 21:42:50

YANBU

bluemascara Fri 10-Aug-18 21:44:25

Yanbu at all
Show him this post!!

Ellie56 Fri 10-Aug-18 21:44:31

Go on strike and stop doing everything. See how much he does then.

And FGS don't have children with him. He sounds like a lazy useless twat.

TatianaLarina Fri 10-Aug-18 21:44:43

Good for you.

50:50 on all chores from now on or it’s over. That’s what I would say.

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