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AIBU?

To be LIVID at controlling DH

91 replies

UtahStar · 10/08/2018 21:15

Background info - I work Monday to Thursday 8.30 - 5pm.

DH works Mon -Thursday 7.30 - 4.30 and Friday 7.30 - 11.30.

So yes, he works longer hours than me but not by loads.

I cook dinner around 5/6 times a week. I do all the shopping and meal planning. I do 100% of the laundry. I clean the kitchen almost every day and I do all the bathrooms including bleaching the bogs and washing the floors.
I walk the dog twice a day, he's meant to do it in a night but rarely does. I do the bedding, the hoovering and putting clothes away.

What does DH do? He puts the bins out. And the DIY.

Anyway tonight he's sat playing on the computer and I was playing in the PS4 whilst making dinner. He shouted through that I should feed the dog. I shouted back "can you do it as I made tea". Anyway it erupted into a massive row where he basically said I do fuck all and he does everything as well as working full time. He works slightly more hours a week than I do yet I feel like I bod every fucking thing around the house and my fuse has well and truly blown. I'm fuming and told him to fuck off. I'm sick of him fucking telling me what to do, critising, minimising what I do. I'm fucking livid and I've blown my top big time.

He's off in a sulk and I've shut the living room door as though to tell him to leave me the fuck alone for the foreseeable future.

AIbU

OP posts:

Report

user1471451564 · 10/08/2018 21:16

No.

mumofone234 · 10/08/2018 21:16

Er, no! Definitely not BU.

Lucked · 10/08/2018 21:18

Go on strike! Just stop doing it all.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 10/08/2018 21:19

Stop doing everything. Only then will he realise how much you do.

curiositycreature · 10/08/2018 21:21

Yeah agree! Go on strike. Fuck him! I used to play chicken with my DH with the chores and it worked a treat!

Peakypush · 10/08/2018 21:22

Don't have children with this man. Trust me - you do NOT want to have children with this man!

Gemini69 · 10/08/2018 21:22

Good for you OP...

Parker231 · 10/08/2018 21:25

Why do you do everything- he works standard hours and must be home in time to cook dinner or sort out laundry?

enbh · 10/08/2018 21:26

Noooooo! He sounds like a prize arsehole!

UpstartCrow · 10/08/2018 21:26

If you weren't there he'd have to do it all himself, but in real life, not in his overactive imagination.

Thatsfuckingshit · 10/08/2018 21:28

So you say he doesn't do anything

And he says you don't do anything.

Both can't be true. If you are aure he doesnt do anyyhing, Maybe you need to get him to list what he actually does do. When he struggles to make the list himself, he will r3alise he does very little.

BarbarianMum · 10/08/2018 21:29

Suggest you do "fuck all" for a month. Stop with the excessive clean, go get a hobby or pick up some more hours at work. Or tell him you're busy looking for another job. See how the cf likes it.

Cismyass · 10/08/2018 21:32

There really doesn't seem to be much going for men these days. Either he scrubs up or ships out fucks off Loving the use of the word bog btw. Not heard that in yonks!

heartsease68 · 10/08/2018 21:38

You need to make a list and put it in front of him.
Don't have children!!

Maelstrop · 10/08/2018 21:39

God, I hope you don’t have children with this man child.

pointythings · 10/08/2018 21:40

Er... Well, he can just fuck right off, can't he? Lazy bastard.

Don't do anything for him. Do your laundry. Cook your meals - and only shop for those. And if he complains, divorce his ass.

thebewilderness · 10/08/2018 21:40

I do not recommend going on strike because they can usually live with a much bigger mess than we can.
I suggest a work slow down where you only do what you care about getting done, and a polite "no, thank you" every time he asks you to do something, while you think things through. Can you tolerate years and years of this? Is this what you signed on for?

If he is a reasonable person he will want to have a talk with you about this. His tantrum over being told no is a very big red flag.

Chalady · 10/08/2018 21:41

I scanned your OP hoping there was no mention of children.

thebewilderness · 10/08/2018 21:42

2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.

tellyaddictanon · 10/08/2018 21:42

YANBU

SandyY2K · 10/08/2018 21:42

YANBU

bluemascara · 10/08/2018 21:44

Yanbu at all
Show him this post!!

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Ellie56 · 10/08/2018 21:44

Go on strike and stop doing everything. See how much he does then.

And FGS don't have children with him. He sounds like a lazy useless twat.

TatianaLarina · 10/08/2018 21:44

Good for you.

50:50 on all chores from now on or it’s over. That’s what I would say.

Mamabear4180 · 10/08/2018 21:45

YANBU

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