My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To wonder how many parents actually suffer from empty nest syndrome after the teenage years.

121 replies

P3onyPenny · 10/08/2018 19:44

Does anyone?

Love my kids but I can see we drive them bats and vice/versa. They're ready to fly. Yes I'll shed a tear but not sure I'll be in pieces.

Or am I deluded?

OP posts:
Report
Clionba · 10/08/2018 19:47

It's awful. I cried for ages and couldn't bear to look at the empty bedrooms. The house was so quiet. And tidy. But you do get used to it.

Report
PollyFlinderz · 10/08/2018 19:48

It's awful. I cried for ages and couldn't bear to look at the empty bedrooms. The house was so quiet. And tidy. But you do get used to it

On this we do agree Smile

Report
AlexaShutUp · 10/08/2018 19:49

No idea but my mum fell apart when I left home. I'm the youngest, so I do think a big part of it was empty nest. She also relied on me quite heavily for emotional support, so I guess that hit her too.

I guess we have about five years left with dd at home before she goes off to university or whatever. I will miss her deliberately but think it helps having work, outside interests, friends etc. We all need a sense of purpose that isn't connected to our children. I think that's what my mum was missing tbh.

Report
ItchySeveredFoot · 10/08/2018 19:50

I have a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old. Thinking about dc1 starting school next month makes me think I'll be a strong contender for an empty nest baby Blush

Report
RickOShay · 10/08/2018 19:51

I can’t bloody wait Grin

Report
FuckyDuzz · 10/08/2018 19:52

My youngest is only 6 months and I’m already looking forward to them all leaving home ... already planning how I’ll redecorate
I’m clearly a terrible mother Blush

Report
Redsharks · 10/08/2018 19:55

My daughters aren't old enough to have an empty nest yet, but I've raised them alone (donor babies) so cant imagine them leaving really. My parents however seemed to be distraught when my older brother left home, a little less with me (middle child) and practically packed my sister up for her! I am the only one who has stayed local and my parents voice loving the freedom that am empty nest brings!

Report
Graphista · 10/08/2018 19:55

I'm dreading it. Dd 17, working full time, tensions are definitely there.

All natural and normal of course but I will REALLY miss her when if she moves out.

Report
DaysOfYore · 10/08/2018 19:56

We found it a wrench when they first left but after a few months, we totally got used to them not being there, and after half a year or so, we actually LOVED having a child-free house. (And still do!) Grin

Now they have left uni, they live closeby (5-10 miles away) and we see them once a week, and speak to them most days on social media, but after 5-6 years of not having them at home, we are 100% used to having just the 2 of us.

Report
Aprilshowersinaugust · 10/08/2018 19:56

My teen ds sent me this. ...
When my dc leave home and the change hits me this will apply!

To wonder how many parents actually suffer from empty nest syndrome after the teenage years.
Report
WowLookAtYou · 10/08/2018 19:58

But they don't leave home! Or rather, they fool you into thinking they have, and then they come back!

So you pack them off to Uni, and get used to a tidy and ordered home. And then they arrive back with piles of washing and luggage for holidays (and you wince when you realise you're paying for expensive Uni accommodation that they're not staying in). And they have endless school reunions in your house (a "pre" is taking place right now in my kitchen), and invite various (lovely) uni friends to stay.
And just when you despair of ever having a tidy kitchen again, or clean dry towels in the bathroom, they bugger off back to Uni again and you get a few weeks' breathing space again.

Report
ThePinkOcelot · 10/08/2018 20:00

Eeee I think I definitely will. Can’t bear the thought.

DD is 17 and doing an apprenticeship at the minute. She keeps saying she not staying around here. It’s the nature of her job to move around etc. I’m trying to get myself used to the idea. Not being successful so far!

Report
P3onyPenny · 10/08/2018 20:00

Mine are 14,14 and 13. I can't wait either. Piece and quiet,no sopping bathroom floors,no bickering, cheap holidays pour deux,no stropping.....

Sounds heavenly. Wondering if I'm abnormal or if the teenage years are sent to make it easier.

OP posts:
Report
tillytoodles1 · 10/08/2018 20:01

Both my kids left home years ago, it's bliss. I see them both all the time, but don't have the hassle of washing their clothes, feeding them etc.

Report
ASliceOfArcticRoll · 10/08/2018 20:02

I'm like you op.

Each age has its benefits and I'll try to make the most of all of them. I spend more time just with DH which is nice!

Report
P3onyPenny · 10/08/2018 20:04

Peace(had wine,been a long day,hence the thread title).Wink

OP posts:
Report
britnay · 10/08/2018 20:04

Mine emigrated shortly after I went to uni, so perhaps they were making sure I didn't move back in?

Report
DramaAlpaca · 10/08/2018 20:06

I jumped up & down with glee when my older two moved out Grin

I do miss them but we still see each other frequently & they call a lot.

I'll probably be heartbroken when my youngest goes though.

Report
ASliceOfArcticRoll · 10/08/2018 20:10

I think the last one will be the crunch moment.

Report
ASliceOfArcticRoll · 10/08/2018 20:10

But so far so good.

Report
HolyMountain · 10/08/2018 20:13

I’ve seen two off, got one left and depending on his results next week he’ll be off too but I sense he’s not going to go , he’s talking about a gap year Hmm.

I love it when they come home but I love it more when they go back.

Report
ajandjjmum · 10/08/2018 20:13

That's the thing with kids, it's all or nothing! So full on until they leave, and then a big hole that you have to fill.

Mine are both back this weekend though, and we make the most of these 'family' times together, and really appreciate each other more.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

RossPoldarksFloozie · 10/08/2018 20:14

Don't let them fool you with moving out! Mine are like bloody boomerangs and have moved in and out over the last 5 years 😂 I never had empty nest syndrome, it was lovely having the house all to ourselves while it lasted

Report
Graphista · 10/08/2018 20:20

True about some being boomerangs! My mums never had more than 3 years without my younger sister moving back in for various reasons (usually non payment of rent) and she's in her 40's!! With DC of her own!

Report
WoollyMollyMonkey · 10/08/2018 20:24

It's awful. I cried for ages and couldn't bear to look at the empty bedrooms. The house was so quiet. And tidy. But you do get used to it.

Me too. Sobbed my heart out driving back after dropping my eldest at uni. Couldn’t bear to see his empty room - and his empty chair at the dinner table tore my heart out! I did get over it eventually and it wasn’t half as bad when it was my 2nd child’s turn to depart. Now, it’s lovely when they come home, but it’s not long before I’m thinking “when are you going back I want my peace and quiet back!” Grin

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.