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To not spend the day with my children?

(48 Posts)
QueenofmyPrinces Fri 10-Aug-18 10:30:55

I have two children, a 4 year old and a baby who is just about to turn 1.

The baby is a pretty horrendous sleeper, usually up 2-3 times a night and I’m generally pretty tired most days. I’ve not long started back at work, doing 13 hour shifts, and doing so on continued nights of broken sleep has started to break me down a little.

Last night was particularly bad with four wakings and so DH took the baby downstairs at 6.30am and I went back to bed until 9am.

I’m up now (10am) but I still feel so tired and I have an awful headache. I just generally feel really run down.

We were supposed to be going out as a family today to visit two Attractions and DH has said he’ll take the children on his own so I can stay home and get some more rest.

His idea sounds lovely but my 4 year old keeps asking me to come and saying “please mommy, please” whilst looking at me with his big blue eyes.

Part of me wants to go to enjoy the day as a family but the other part of me thinks I won’t enjoy it anyway because of how shattered I feel and just wants to crawl into bed.

The thought of spending the day surrounded by noise and crowds, walking around for hours on end to then come back home, have another broken night’s sleep with the baby, work 13 hour shifts on both Saturday and Sunday, with another night of broken sleep between them too, just fills me with dread sad

I don’t know what to do. I feel like I should suck it up and just go to make my 4 year old happy but at the same time I feel like I’m on the road to burning out and that a quiet day at home on my own would do me the world of good.

I just don’t know what to do.
Why is there so much guilt attached to parenting? sad

Shoxfordian Fri 10-Aug-18 10:32:19

Go back to bed, you need a sleep
They'll be fine

DearMrDilkington Fri 10-Aug-18 10:33:09

Stay at home, you need to rest. flowers

LEMtheoriginal Fri 10-Aug-18 10:33:44

Two attractions? Does it have to be two? Could you go to one of them? Ahhh no stay home. The 4yo will enjoy the time with their dad. Get some rest

Allthewaves Fri 10-Aug-18 10:35:47

Let dh rick on and go back to bed

Allthewaves Fri 10-Aug-18 10:36:02

Rock on

catsofa Fri 10-Aug-18 10:36:47

Sleep!

ellendegeneres Fri 10-Aug-18 10:43:43

Sleep. Honestly.

My two are away this weekend, I have so much planned. I can’t wait.

Tomorrow I’ll be sleeping, wake up, breakfast then have a nap, wake up, lunch, another nap, wake up, dinner and movie, then bed. Sunday repeat of Saturday. I’m so excited I’m considering a pre nap nap whilst lo sleeps right now lol

GothMummy Fri 10-Aug-18 10:46:58

Please stay home and rest!

ShumpaLumpa Fri 10-Aug-18 10:50:48

It's a good opportunity for DH to bond with them.

Wave them off with a cheery bye.

Can DH get up with 1yo on weekends?

BigSandyBalls2015 Fri 10-Aug-18 10:54:50

Def go back to bed, your 4 year old will be fine once they've gone and it'll be a lovely time for dad and kids to spend together - you sound like you desperately need the break.

Cismyass Fri 10-Aug-18 10:54:57

Get back to bed! Don't be guilt tripped by a 4 year old-He needs a well, sane Mother most of all and if you carry on running on empty you will be neither of these! Nice to hear a DH being kind and considerate to his DW and her needs and wanting to spend time with his DC-A rare beast indeed on MN!

WowLookAtYou Fri 10-Aug-18 10:56:20

Tell him you're ill, not 'just' tired, as it sounds better.

ConfessionsOfTeenageDramaQueen Fri 10-Aug-18 10:57:22

Another one to say sleep. If you don't get some rest you're going to run yourself ragged. Kids will have a great time and maybe you can take them somewhere else local for a treat next weekend instead.

Fatted Fri 10-Aug-18 11:00:00

Go to bed! I feel like this lots. I work evenings and am knackered most days. As soon as DH is off I have a lazy day in bed! I feel guilty we don't do more as a family when DH is off, but if I don't get a decent rest I just feel like shit and spend the time bickering and getting annoyed anyway!

Dragongirl10 Fri 10-Aug-18 11:04:06

Sleep, your 4 yr old will enjoy being the focus of his dad's attention, YOU will be a better parent for some rest!

Uncreative Fri 10-Aug-18 11:05:27

Tell DC that this is their very special time with Daddy. Go back to bed.

BackinTimeforTea Fri 10-Aug-18 11:06:31

sleep! It is not your last chance for a family day out!

QueenofmyPrinces Fri 10-Aug-18 11:07:18

Thanks everyone,

We’ve got a lot of activities planned next week for the baby’s 1st birthday so at least we still have more things to look forward to.

My husband takes the 4 year old out a lot so I feel guilty that I’m not going again this time. My son loves it when we go out as family which is why I feel bad.

My husband loves taking the children out on his own as he says that’s his time to get to bond with them and spend time with them seeing as in the week he only sees them for 2 hours before bed once he’s home from work.

I suppose I just don’t like letting my 4 year old down sad

KindergartenKop Fri 10-Aug-18 11:07:37

You'll be a better mum if you get some time to yourself!

Winterbella Fri 10-Aug-18 11:08:43

Is DH up in the night too? is he as tired as you? You need a new strategy to help get the sleeping working because at this rate you'll completely burn out

SeaToSki Fri 10-Aug-18 11:08:48

You will be a better mother to your 4 yr old if you stay at home and sleep. Your dc is just thinking of the next 5 mins, your job is to plan fpr the next week etc. SLEEP

ThanosSavedMe Fri 10-Aug-18 11:12:15

I’m hoping you are tucked up in bed sleeping. You will be a much better parent for getting the rest that you need

Carrotmama Fri 10-Aug-18 11:13:42

Sleep!! Best idea for everyone involved xx

llangennith Fri 10-Aug-18 11:14:04

Sleep! Enjoy time to yourself.
Get used to the guilt-tripping. I was a single parent of three DC. Youngest DD then aged 5 or 6 used to tell me sadly on the rare occasion I went out how much she loved me and wanted to be with me "please stay with me Mummy. I miss you". My response was to suggest she and I spend time together the next day instead of her going to play with her friend. She wasn't having any of that!

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