Is the term Baby mother/mama offensive?

[ItWasAlIADream]

I know this word is trashy and I dont use it myself. It really makes me cringe when people do but aibu to not know why its offensive? Ive always seen people say that it is but not sure why. My ex always refers to me as his “baby mother” despite my requests that he doesnt!

[DesignStatement]

People that use that term may as well call you nothing but a breeding machine! Can't believe any women allow it.

[Mrsramsayscat]

To me, it's a phrase invented and used by a man to describe the vessel in which his child is born and raised. Ugh!

[tillytrotter1]

I've only ever heard of it on Judge Judy and from a certain type of person!

[Plump82]

Ive only ever heard baby daddy......

[Pengggwn]

It is a way of distancing oneself from the person you are speaking about and from their full humanity: this woman was basically a conduit to producing my child. It is grotesque phrasing.

[sue51]

It's a bit cringe inducing and twee.

[DuchessAnnogovia]

I hate the term baby daddy, it makes me cringe whenever I hear it.

[ItWasAlIADream]

Yes it really annoys me but he is my ex so I cant stop him. I find it very embarrasing.

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

They're both a bit cringe. And they both sound to me as if the babies ARE the parents! Wrong on so many levels. Plus I feel they're often used negatively.

YANBU.

[Spilledmycoffee]

I don't like it either. If my ex called me his baby mom I think I'd be like "err... I'm not your anything".

[GreenTulips]

I think it sounds really childish and 'non person'

It's cringe and trashy because there's no respect at all

[dingdongdigeridoo]

I’ve only heard it uttered by men who have impregnated multiple women. Often within a short window of time. So it’s pretty trashy.

[ItWasAlIADream]

He has another child from a previous relationship but refers to her as his ex and me as his baby mother which is what seems to make it more offensive. (As we are both not “baby mother”)

[MissusGeneHunt]

Yes, horrible. Just call him a sperms donor in return and see how he likes it.

Bad luck OP, you're a woman and mother in your own right. What a nob.

[emmyrose2000]

I’ve only heard it uttered by men who have impregnated multiple women. Often within a short window of time. So it’s pretty trashy

Agreed. It's just as vile as "baby daddy". Vomit. The "daddies" very rarely take responsibility for the children either. They just want to use it as a sign of their virility. Real daddies' actually look after their children not just provide the sperm.

I always associate it with uneducated, trashy people.

[Aintnothingbutaheartache]

All sounds very JK does USA to me

[KC225]

If I hear that phrase, I don't actually think of loving, committed couple raising their children together. It has a feckless low rent cloud above it.

[DayManChampionOfTheSun]

I've only ever heard this used by people when they are joking about, I would desperately cringe if someone said this to me about their child's other parent in a serious way.

[CommanderDaisy]

Both "Baby momma/mother" and "baby daddy" are completely trashy, tacky and gross.
Reeks of Kardashian's.
I would be offended. And like a previous poster suggested start calling him "the sperm donor" till he stops.

[PineapplePower]

Very American termed used by people who didn’t have a very committed relationship with the child’s mother/father. I usually hear baby daddy in my circles.

It’s usually because ex-girlfriend/boyfriend just didn’t seem right in the given context. I’d find offensive if I’d actually been in a relationship though. YANBU

[ItWasAlIADream]

Our relationship was prretty short possibly thats why he uses it? but yes definitelty not said as a joke. He was on the phone to the bank once and said “Hold on I will just ask my baby mother”