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Had to walk away from colleague...

(82 Posts)
TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:18:44

My colleague does my head in. She moans, and moans, and moans, about everything! Last straw was today, she was moaning that she had put on weight and blamed it on the weather, because she eats more when it's hot, then went on about how the weather slows down her metabolism, and that even if she 'only ate 500 calories a day' she would still get fat, then turned to me and started said she would look like me soon if this heatwave doesn't end pronto (I'm 6 months pregnant). I walked away. I wanted to tell her that the reason she has put on weight is because she eats a packet of biscuits before lunch every day and that I am in fact pregnant, not fat!

How do you cope with people who think they are so hard done by? Who have excuses for everything? I'm so bad at holding my tongue and I fear I may explode! (Pregnancy hormones not helping either!(

Singlenotsingle Thu 09-Aug-18 21:20:38

People who moan all the time don't know they're born! They just make me laugh

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:20:58

May I add that she is constantly like this all the time and it's starting to make me dread going to work. I sit there in silence as she always has something to moan about. If something bad happens to someone, worse has always happened to her. It's like a massive pity party and it's starting to drive me nuts!

PipeTheFuckDown Thu 09-Aug-18 21:21:14

‘Nah, you won’t look like me, someone would have to fuck you and all you do is whine so there’s zero chance of that’

Also seriously grumpy today grin

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:22:10

Well aware that I am moaning currently 🤣 but I am a generally very positive person and can't imagine how draining it must be to have to moan constantly, about everything...

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:22:46

@PipeTheFuckDown grin hilarious! If only I could say that without getting the sack!

buckeejit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:23:35

Tell her that she moans a lot. She might not be aware, do you get on ok with her otherwise? She shouldn't have said that but probably thought it was amusing. Every time she moans tell her she's lucky for something or other

Leo90 Thu 09-Aug-18 21:24:10

I work with someone who is constantly moaning about how busy she is and how her workload is ever increasing. Her workload is increasing because she is constantly trying to everybody else job.

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:26:23

@buckeejit I don't socialise with her. She literally only talks to me when she has something to moan about. Management, the weather, having a cold, jammed printer, annoying mother, wages.... you're right though I'm going to have to tell her some time! Whether it's worth it 2 months before a years worth of maternity leave is another question...

schoty77 Thu 09-Aug-18 21:41:11

She sounds insufferable. Well done for just walking away, if someone said that to me when I was pregnant (and suffering in this heat) I wouldn't have been so kind.

Tinkobell Thu 09-Aug-18 21:44:16

You cope by listening patiently and nodding understandedly then coming straight on MN and gifting us the latest outpouring of moaning's hilarious, thank you! 😂 At least you'll get mat leav soon!

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:45:51

@Tinkobell there's a difference between having a moan about something specific and moaning about everything single possible thing there is to moan about though isn't there!

I am well aware that I am a massive grump today but she's been doing my head in all day so felt the need to rant it out! grin

ClemDanfango Thu 09-Aug-18 21:46:24

Fucking hell do you work at my work? Non stop fucking moaning all day long from more than one person.
In my head I’m shouting “I DONT FUCKING CARE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING NOISE HOLE.” In reality I’m sure I just look totally glazed over and yet on they moan.🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Merryoldgoat Thu 09-Aug-18 21:47:01

Be honest but make it about you:

‘I’m really sorry X, but I am finding your negativity really difficult to listen to. I know you are having trouble coping day to day, maybe you should try talking to a counsellor as I can’t help and find the situation stressful.’

Alternatively, use your pregnancy - ‘my blood pressure is a bit on the high side and I need to avoid getting stressed and agitated’ then every time she starts, say ‘listening to this is bad for my blood pressure - can we change the subject?’

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:48:22

tink - and I definitely don't nod understandably, I do exactly as @ClemDanfango does... I think my brain switches off temporarily and I just stare in to space until she's done.... I feel sometimes the consequences of telling people like this what they are really like would be far more insufferable than the moaning itself!

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:49:01

merry I think that sounds like a very sensible idea - thanks!

ohtheholidays Thu 09-Aug-18 21:49:02

I'd be bloody reporting her for that comment,looking like you soon nasty cheeky bitch!

She really shouldn't get away with talking to anyone at work like that.

Chalady Thu 09-Aug-18 21:50:17

I would have had no problem saying "The reason you have put on weight is because you eat a packet of biscuits before lunch every day"

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:50:29

ohtheholidays she has no tact whatsoever. I honestly cannot be bothered to report it as it will go nowhere, and it didn't offend me. It was mildly amusing! The moaning bothers me more. I think if I was self conscious about my bump though it would have been an awful thing to hear so can see why you'd think it needs reporting!

TravelEdit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:51:51

chalady grin - knowing my work place this would land me in the shit for 'bullying behaviour' - best stay shtum...

buckeejit Thu 09-Aug-18 21:52:44

A great tip that I found on here (& used regularly with my last manager), was smile & trace 'fuck off' on the back of your teeth with your tongue 😉

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Thu 09-Aug-18 21:56:26

Put some headphones on. Subtle way of telling her you don’t want to listen.

I work with someone like this. She moans about everything. I think she thinks she’s being sarcastic and funny. She’s not. She also waits around after every job playing on her phone instead of helping us finish up. We’re only a small team though and if I have to swear at her it’ll get a bit frosty.

anothernameagain000 Thu 09-Aug-18 22:03:13

I used to work with a human like this a I secretly referred to him as Eyeore. I once pointedly explained that theory of people being drains or radiators

SchadenfreudePersonified Thu 09-Aug-18 22:03:55

‘Nah, you won’t look like me, someone would have to fuck you and all you do is whine so there’s zero chance of that’

Pipe grin

Ace reply!

Mummyoflittledragon Thu 09-Aug-18 22:08:33

Thank heavens for small mercies that you are not her daughter and therefore do not connect with her on an emotional level thus were not at the receiving end as a child. Some of us are daughters to people like this unfortunately. 🤪

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