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Correcting Dh’s grammar in front of dd because she’s starting to pick up his way of speaking.

(203 Posts)
CocoDeMoll Wed 08-Aug-18 21:09:36

I’m not a snob in any way, seriously!!

My dd is 5 and she now attends a little local primary where there are lots of kids from v MC backgrounds and I don’t want her being picked on in the future because she says things wrong. And for the record my own spelling and grammar is shit so I’m not judging.

She’s says ‘them’ instead of ‘those’ as in ‘can I have some of them tomatoes’ and other stuff like that because dh does. Dh doesn’t realise this isn’t correct but doesn’t jump down my throat if I say it isn’t so he’s pretty decent about it. I have no issues with accents or dialects but I feel like down the line she might get further ahead if I correct her from saying stuff like ‘so I tells him’ to ‘so I told him’. AIBU?

MVLipwig Wed 08-Aug-18 21:11:36

You’re just encouraging her to think of those with different accents and dialects as lesser. MN will disagree with me I’m sure, but is having her father’s accent such an issue? And children are more accepting than you seem to think

CocoDeMoll Wed 08-Aug-18 21:15:44

I wouldn’t change his east London accent for anything. I love it but I feel like dd needs to at least learn the proper way of saying things and then say them in my country accent

IMissGin Wed 08-Aug-18 21:16:27

I think there’s a difference between an accent and being grammatically incorrect. Correcting grammar is absolutely the right thing to do - nothing to do with class

Jollyholliday Wed 08-Aug-18 21:16:35

I'd do the same as you OP

CocoDeMoll Wed 08-Aug-18 21:17:38

imissgin exactly

hammeringinmyhead Wed 08-Aug-18 21:19:02

I would correct too. Saying things like "I done that" and "I seen him" are incorrect and if a child thinks they are correct they'll end up written down!

monkeysox Wed 08-Aug-18 21:20:09

Hammering I correct both of those too. wink

Aintnothingbutaheartache Wed 08-Aug-18 21:21:40

I agree with imissgin
Nothing wrong at all with correcting the grammar of a 5 year old

Laiste Wed 08-Aug-18 21:22:35


I love my DH dearly but he says gob instead of mouth. Now we have DD4 (4) i correct him through gritted teeth every time. She hasn't picked it up yet. It make me feel like Hyacinth Bucket.

Jollyholliday Wed 08-Aug-18 21:22:58

Don't they include spelling and grammar marks on some exams? If you correct her when she's young, over time it'll sink in and she'll develop better understanding of language. It's harder to iron out when they're a bit older when it actually matters!

NewGrandad Wed 08-Aug-18 21:23:09

I’m not a snob in any way, seriously!!*

Yes you are. Get over it.

JAMMFYesPlease Wed 08-Aug-18 21:23:19

I thought this was going to be about dialects and was ready to say YABU. But YADNBU! Bad grammar is bad grammar and it annoys me so much. I'd correct it too. I regularly correct my DD on bad grammar but not on anything that is dialect.

MadameJosephine Wed 08-Aug-18 21:23:53

I would do the same OP. I’m not with DD’s dad anymore but she comes back from her dad’s saying ‘would of’ and ‘could of’ and I always correct her,

lolalotta Wed 08-Aug-18 21:23:59

I correct grammar too. At the moment in my DDs class the girls seem to have invented a whole new word, "brang" so I'm trying to stamp that out! It drives me nuts! My DDs 4 year old sister has even picked it up now! Having said that I just googled it and apparently it IS past tense for bring in some dialects... it's not one I've ever heard or come across before! I thought it was completely made up!

Aintnothingbutaheartache Wed 08-Aug-18 21:25:19

NewGrandad in what way is op a snob?

Lovelydovey Wed 08-Aug-18 21:26:55

DH says “let’s go placename” rather than “let’s go to placename”, I started correcting him after realising the DC were copying him. They now also correct him.

NewGrandad Wed 08-Aug-18 21:26:56

kids from v MC backgrounds

says it all

Frogscotch7 Wed 08-Aug-18 21:28:01

Yanbu - it’s possible to correct grammar without being disrespectful.

CocoDeMoll Wed 08-Aug-18 21:28:03

lolalotta funny you say that because brung (for bring) is completely accepted in my county and I sometime say it! So ahem, maybe I have double standards!!

louise987 Wed 08-Aug-18 21:28:08

I'm with you OP. Grammar is grammar no matter hat accent it is in. I would (and do) correct grammar for my DD (3) in spite of my DH having appalling grammar.
The one I always roll my eyes at...
'Where's it to?'hmm

MeanTangerine Wed 08-Aug-18 21:28:55

Kids end up talking like their peers much more than their parents. Don't worry, she'll end up v MC too.

Aintnothingbutaheartache Wed 08-Aug-18 21:29:04

It doesn’t say it all to me NewGrandad !
I’m still not following you.

CocoDeMoll Wed 08-Aug-18 21:29:37

newgrandad maybe I feel insecure?

A year or so ago she was swearing like a trooper so I’m just trying to do right by her for her future and give her the best start.

ProfessorMoody Wed 08-Aug-18 21:29:49

It's not snobby to want a child to speak their first language correctly.

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