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Or do all 18 year olds take drugs?

(168 Posts)
Twistella Tue 07-Aug-18 23:46:30

Dd17 hasn't been out much recently. Whr. I asked her why she said that all her friends take drugs. Even going to the pub they might take tramadol or xanax. It's ketamine and Es at a party or gathering. And spliff all the time.

Dd likes a drink but hates smoking and drugs. She is very open with me and I'm normally very relaxed but is this normal? We've discussed trying to hang out with new friends but she seems drawn to the "cool kids". She's at a normal state 6th form.

Hulah00pie Tue 07-Aug-18 23:50:52

No, they don’t. She may find that her priorities differ from those of her friends, but that’s not a bad thing. It can be isolating, but there’s so much time to find friends whose interests and personalities click or diverge with your own. Particularly if she has plans for uni/work after this stage of education, drugs are fairly niche and you can usually gravitate away from users.

DieAntword Tue 07-Aug-18 23:54:08

They don’t but my circle did and now I look back I can see what a bunch of utter losers we all were but at the time we thought we were so cool.

SpiritedLondon Tue 07-Aug-18 23:58:34

Well I guess the “ cool kids” do drugs then. Her choices seem to be spend the evening in ( which doesn’t sound much fun) or find non “ cool” friends. I doubt most parents will have a clue about what their own kids get up to tbh... a lot that I’ve had to deal with as a police officer will swear blind their child doesn’t steal/ bully/ buy, sell or use drugs when I have very clear evidence to the contrary. Although I’m pragmatic about drug use it seems likely that some percentage of her current friends are going to head off down an undesirable path. Perhaps leaving school / goingto Uni etc will be the opportunity to find a new group who are not so enthralled by this lifestyle

esk1mo Tue 07-Aug-18 23:59:55

its not just 18 year olds, im in my 20s and almost everyone i know tales drugs. even people i dont know, normal women with full time jobs, (make up artists, admin staff, retail workers) tweet about taking ketamine and cocaine on nights out.

i think its disgusting. i dabbled as a teenager, experimented a bit but to then continue getting shitfaced and legless into your 20s isn’t ideal. its all over social media, in jokes and viral tweets. it’s definitely people trying to fit in, and pressure from social media aswell.

boopsy Wed 08-Aug-18 00:00:09

No my ds doesn't and neither do happen s friends.

flissypix Wed 08-Aug-18 00:05:17

I didn’t and only a couple of my friends did, But these days I am not so sure if that’s still the case. The cost of drugs has come down so low and the price of alcohol/nightclubs etc has gone up so much and I know this plays a huge part for some teens there aren’t any calories in drugs! I work with teenagers and even the ‘lovely’kids from the ‘lovely families’ dabble not just the typical troubled ones I mean pills cost literally £1/£2 I was out in a bar in a city centre with much younger people recently and I swear every single person was on something it’s very easy to get swept up in it. It’s only a small cost everyone’s doing it etc. I was tempted and I am 33 with two kids and have never been into drugs! It’s become more socially acceptable, accessibile and cheaper. It’s frightening and I think our drug laws need a serious overhaul to reflect this.

KeepServingTheDrinks Wed 08-Aug-18 00:09:17

OMG! There's a current thread running Don't know how to link it, but it's got the word nana in the title.

That threAd is all about how kids that age don't drink or do drugs at all, ever. They just make. Vlogs. Loads of PPs lining up to agree. I might have got quite snitty. The OP might have been called something like

OP not sure what your aibu is?

SilverPartyShoes Wed 08-Aug-18 00:10:34

Mine didnt, but some of their friends did at school, not many but they knew people who did.
But at uni, its a major problem. And really unfair on people, when they have to share a flat with a drug dealing student.
Plus the authorities wont kick them out of the flats, and the uni won’t kick them out either.
All we could get was security to keep an eye on the flat, but they were doing this anyway as the person concerned was a troublemaker.

I know of someone else on their trial days (where they get to stay for a few days to get a feeling for student life) Disliked all the drug taking amongst her fellow students, so didnt start their course.

Oliversmumsarmy Wed 08-Aug-18 00:23:40

DD and ds don't drink let alone smoke or take drugs of any kind but they are a rarity.
There are a couple of friends who drink occasionally but a lot just go out to get drunk as quick as possible and take all sorts

Ariela Wed 08-Aug-18 00:57:59

DD is 19 and part of a group of 6 who don't do drugs, one or two of them do drink more than she would like (DD doesn't drink, doesn't see the point) but she doesn't fall out with them - just says they cannot go in her car if they drink too much!

Stupomax Wed 08-Aug-18 01:01:44

My 17yo DD doesn't. Some of her friends smoke weed, a few do more. Most don't do anything.

She knows she can tell us anything and this is what she tells us.

We're in the US and it's probably more socially acceptable to smoke weed than drink alcohol at 18.

Stupomax Wed 08-Aug-18 01:02:30

Once at university I think alcohol will become much more common BTW - she's not there yet.

19lottie82 Wed 08-Aug-18 01:04:18

I guess it depends on the social circle. In some all of them will be at it, in others, none.

they might take tramadol or Xanax
These will most likely been bought off the internet and be totally fake. I’m
Not saying that’s any better, it’s worse if anything as the kids don’t know what they are taking.

planetclom Wed 08-Aug-18 01:11:20

I think it is what all teenagers claim like having sex but I would worry as this could be her shutting people out for all sorts of reasons. So encourage her for make new friends and monitor her behaviour as I had a friend like this who disappeared from the group and it was because she was taking drugs on her own. But mental health issues might make her withdraw.
But no no everyone takes drugs

GetThisBabyOut Wed 08-Aug-18 05:03:47

It seems to go in swings and roundabouts, it’s weird. My year group at school and my friendship group outside of school were very ‘druggy’. I have to say it was mostly cannabis and ketamine though, a few of the ‘cool’ kids were into coke or pills. I’d kind of grown out of that whole thing by the end of my first year of 6th form though. I certainly still had friends or associates who didn’t grow out of it well beyond that though!

My brother’s year group at school (four years below mine) was comparatively straight laced. He was very popular so I know it wasn’t just him and his mates being the exception to the rule either. He didn’t even drunk really until he went to uni aged 19.

Twistella Wed 08-Aug-18 08:45:25

Thanks. She's finding it really isolating. And to add to it, my dd2 is a day girl at an independent boarding school and no longer wants to hang out with her friends after lessons in the evening because they go to smoke in the bushes. She really really hates it!! Not sure why I've produced two such rabid anti smokers but it's causing them both to be quite isolated. They do a sport out of school where they mix with others but I'm not sure how you encourage teens to mix with others.

I think and this is a guess, that dd1 may have taken drugs and hated it.

@keepservingthedrinks I couldn't be bothered to change the title to a more AIBU friendly one like "to think that all teens take drugs", sorry!

Twistella Wed 08-Aug-18 08:48:45

planetclom she's definitely not taking drugs on her own. We're a really close knit family and we all do similar sports together. I really want dd1 to branch out a bit and so does she but she just wants mates to go for a drink and a movie not get twatted every night. She seems happy when she's at home or on holiday with us, she can drive and has a car so is independent.

Branleuse Wed 08-Aug-18 08:50:51

i think some groups do and some groups dont. She should try and find different activities to hang out with friends who are into the same stuff as her

notacooldad Wed 08-Aug-18 08:51:58

No they don't.
I work with teenagers up to their 18 th birthday and still have contact. With them beyond that.
The young people have been through a lot and while it's true some do smoke weed and some may do harder drugs it's not true of all 18 years old. Some that I work with view the others that take drugs as losers.

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon Wed 08-Aug-18 08:52:06

I dont think most 18 year olds do. Some definitely do yes, some will dabble but there are plenty who dont. I would say most will at least try weed, occasional mdma but I don't think most take tramadol or xanax to go to the pub.

Again there is a crowd who will constantly smoke weed and take drugs, not necessarily the cool crowd but there will be lots and lots who don't, but your dd doesn't want to be friends with those people who don't.

hannah1992 Wed 08-Aug-18 08:53:02

I never did when I was at school. I never smoked either but I still hung about with friends that did I just didn’t share their choices.

The same as now I’m older I wouldn’t walk on the other side of the street just because my friend was having a fag

CherryPavlova Wed 08-Aug-18 08:55:47

No none of mine have ever done drugs and find the idea abhorrent. They know a few dim ones who have but they’re the ones who are flakey and end up in dead end jobs doing dull things, generally.
They would lose their jobs and therefore their houses if the were found to take illegal drugs. One has regular random drug testing.
At the boarding school we used they took a really hard line. If alcohol was suspected they were breathalysed, sent to the san to sleep, if necessary and then grounded. Drugs found in school meant permanent exclusion. A few idiots still did but not huge numbers - although more perhaps did out of school at festivals etc. Their university friends didn’t either.
I think there’s a real problem when we talk about ‘everybody’ doing something such as drugs, underage drinking, illegal sex etc. It normalises and condones it despite ‘everybody’ not actually being true.

Twistella Wed 08-Aug-18 08:57:47

The same as now I’m older I wouldn’t walk on the other side of the street just because my friend was having a fag

I know nor would I! It's odd how outraged my 15 year old is really. Maybe she's immature. She's a scholarship and bursary girl so I think she's worried she will get into trouble, she also had bad asthma in the past (much better now) so is scared the smoke will affect her. Sorry I've gone off topic!

GreatDuckCookery Wed 08-Aug-18 09:02:24

I think it's pretty prevalent in this age group yes. Not all but a big majority. When DS was at college some years ago he said that many of his peers smoked weed, took ket, cocaine, xanax and E's, anything they could get hold of really.

It wasn't even for a big night out either, they would take pills sat at their mates house or in the pub on a week day.

I think it's a huge problem personally.

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