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To think my boyfriend charging me for decorating is a bit crazy?

(524 Posts)
lucyloo345 Mon 06-Aug-18 10:53:51

I've been seeing him 9 months and he is a professional painter and decorator.
I need my stairs and hall doing so asked him on his day off if he wouldn't mind helping.
I got quoted £350 from a guy a couple of years ago but couldn't afford it at the time.
My boyfriend says he will do it next Sunday ...tells me to get the paper and paste.
Then he says shall we say £285 ?
Ok I was going to give him something but the fact he is making it like a official job has annoyed me a bit.
Would you be a bit taken back?

sagasleathertrousers Mon 06-Aug-18 10:55:20

!! Yes I think I would be!

YouTheCat Mon 06-Aug-18 10:55:25

I'd ditch him and pay the money to someone else who isn't a twat.

HelpmeobiMN Mon 06-Aug-18 10:55:55

Definitely - you were clearly asking for a hand in his capacity as your boyfriend, not as a professional P&D! Fine to ask you to pay for materials but charging you a rate is bullshit. Tell him to fuck off and either do it yourself or pay someone else.

lucyloo345 Mon 06-Aug-18 10:56:53

I mean we don't live together so it isn't his home just mine but still think there would be some perks.

KirstyJC Mon 06-Aug-18 10:57:08

Yes, I would. Did you ask him to do it or did he offer? Did he tell you he was going to charge you before you got the materials? If not then he is even more unreasonable. TBH I would tell him that you still can't afford it and wait.

I would at least expect a reduced rate and it is pretty close to the other quote so he hasn't even given you much of a discount!

KlutzyDraconequus Mon 06-Aug-18 10:57:42

I've a friend that's a plasterer, should he aster my walls for nothing?
My uncle was an accountant, he should do my books and work for free right?

You could go back to him and say you don't want him to do it, you're going to do it, you just want help. But you shouldn't expect people to work for free even if you are knocking boots.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 06-Aug-18 10:58:03

I would be beyond taken aback. In fact this would end our relationship. That's ridiculous imo.

lucyloo345 Mon 06-Aug-18 10:58:07

I haven't bought the paper yet thankfully.
I need about 8 rolls so it's already costing a small fortune.

ApolloandDaphne Mon 06-Aug-18 10:58:47

Your BF is an arse. My DH is bit of a tech expert. He has never charged me for fixing my laptop/desktop/internet connection whatever. He even provides this service free to friends. Tell him you will do it yourself.

lucyloo345 Mon 06-Aug-18 10:59:09

I wasn't going to expect him to do it for nothing.
I was going go give him £80.
I thought that would be ok
I was going to help too.

JacquesHammer Mon 06-Aug-18 11:00:41

I'm on the fence really.

Asking him on his day off to do his job is a bit off I think.

Maybe he thought you were employing him. Surely a conversation as to your expectations - and his - would sort this out?

arethereanyleftatall Mon 06-Aug-18 11:01:37

Friend/uncle is a world away from boyfriend. Especially if you're imagining boyfriend will become husband.

RatherBeRiding Mon 06-Aug-18 11:02:07

I'd be very taken aback! You were asking if he'd mind helping - not doing it in a professional capacity.

Tell him thanks for the quote but it's out of your budget and you were never looking for someone else to do it for you anyway but you thought he might like to help, seeing as he's supposed to be your boyfriend and all.....

3stonedown Mon 06-Aug-18 11:02:09

I'm of the opinion you don't charge your partners, children or parents. That might just be me. Friend, uncle etc fair enough. I would be taken aback too.

LoniceraJaponica Mon 06-Aug-18 11:02:41

I'm with Klutzy on this. He could be earning money decorating someone else's house in the time he is doing yours. If he doesn't work weekends why should he give a up a weekend doing what he usually gets paid for?

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Mon 06-Aug-18 11:02:48

klutzy if you are in a relationship with someone, of course you should be able to expect help without them charging you for it!
Dump his arse and get a boyfriend who isn't so mean!

9amTrain Mon 06-Aug-18 11:03:27

@KlutzyDraconequus that is totally different to your boyfriend doing it! confused

lucyloo345 Mon 06-Aug-18 11:03:36

He wouldn't be earning money as he works for himself and takes sat and Sunday off

Baumederose Mon 06-Aug-18 11:04:06

Get rid. Its a favour to someone he supposedly cares about not a contract of employment. Similar to helping a friend move house- you do it out of care, not charge an hourly rate for services rendered ffs.

Say you'll get someone else to do it as you are concerned blurring the lines between personal and professional isn't good and you've changed your mind.


9amTrain Mon 06-Aug-18 11:04:16

@LoniceraJaponica well he won't because OP asked on his day off...

Scaredandshattered Mon 06-Aug-18 11:05:10

No partners shouldn't charge to help out there partner, fair enough ask for a donation of sorts but to see it like a normal job is wrong.

blueskiesandforests Mon 06-Aug-18 11:05:50

A boyfriend is different from an uncle or a friend Klutzy - a friend has potentially loads of friends who might ask, an uncle potentially loads of nephews, nieces, siblings, cousins... You hopefully only have one boy/girlfriend...

Lucy I'd see his expectation that you'll pay mates rates as a clear indication he sees you as casual. A serious boyfriend/ partner would help in his capacity as boyfriend/ partner and not think of charging.

That is assuming that you're mucking in too and doing the work together, not expecting him to do everything for you while you read a magazine/ go out for lunch... In which case you're not asking a boyfriend to help you at all - you shouldn't be expecting him to do all the work for you in the context of a relationship.

Racecardriver Mon 06-Aug-18 11:05:57

Red flag. Run. He is going to turn out to be one of those obnoxious bastards who expect their wife who is a SAHM to three kids under five to pay for 50% of everything.

lucyloo345 Mon 06-Aug-18 11:06:54

I was going to do the hall and him do the stairs as they are trickier to do and weird shapes and cuts

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